Open Your Eyes
by herainab
Summary: The accident tore their family apart. A pregnant Meredith was in danger along with her unborn baby. All Derek wants her to do is open her eyes so their memories, hopes, family and dreams will continue and so she can help watch their family grow up.
1. A Split Second Can Change Everything

**Okay so here is a new story. Hopefully you all enjoy it. It is called open your eyes for obvious reasons but you will be able to figure that out in a couple of chapters' time. I have had this idea for ages and had the plan written for almost a year and then when I was inspired and finished the story off but haven't been able to get it off my other computer but I have so I will start posting it and start posting the rest of the chapters for watch over me. **

**Basically an accident happens and there are flashbacks from the most important parts of Meredith and Derek's life from the day they met to the day before the accident. The first flashback is from 25 years ago but will be in the next chapter.**

**So hopefully you enjoy this story and I promise it will get better as the chapters come along. So read, enjoy and please review.**

…

Meredith woke that morning. They were going to Derek's mum's farm for the holidays. Derek was asleep at her side. A protective hand around her pregnant stomach. They knew that since it was the holidays that it was their chance to take a family holiday before their 5th child is born. She kissed Derek's forehead and he stirred.

"Morning. We better start getting ready if we want to leave at 11." Meredith says.

"We have plenty of time. Even plenty of time for a quickie before the kids are up." He says as he starts kissing her.

"Nope sorry." She says getting up off the bed and walking into their bathroom.

He laid there waiting for the water to start running. The water started running so he got up off the bed and ran quickly into the shower dropping his boxers as he jumped in to scare her.

Laughter filled the bathroom.

Meredith was standing in front of the mirror after their shower. She was changing when Derek walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her stomach and kissed her neck.

"That was fun wasn't it?" He says.

"Sure was. Hopefully you enjoyed it because that will be the last time for a while before you get any more action." She says with a smile.

"Oh come on. There are some good spots out at the farm where we can sneak off to."

"Yeah maybe but having sex in your mum's house doesn't sound like the best idea."

"We've done it under her roof before."

"Yeah I know but I wasn't pregnant and we didn't have three kids sleeping there as well."

"Oh you worry too much. It will be fine and we will have fun. You even said before how much fun it is to have sex while you're pregnant."

"I know I said that."

They hear Kendall over the baby monitor.

"You're just going to have to wait until we get home and all the sex you can handle." Meredith says to him as he leaves the bathroom.

Derek walks into Kendall's room.

"Morning sweetie." He says to the 16 month old. "You excited about seeing nanny?"

She looks up him with her thumb in her mouth and nods her head. He reaches into the cot and takes her out kissing her forehead.

"How about we make some breakfast. How does pancakes sound?" He asks her.

Kendall takes her thumb out of her mouth and smiles.

"Good." She says.

"That got you awake didn't it? Come one let's go and make them so we can get going."

He carries her out of her room downstairs to the kitchen.

Meredith leaves the bathroom and goes and sits down on her bed and puts her hand under searching for the box that she keeps under there. She pulls it out and stares at the lid. The name Patrick is across it. Her finger traces ever letter.

She opens the lid up and looks through everything. Tomorrow was Patrick's birthday but today was the day that he died. She looked at the picture of him after he was born. He was blue and not moving. She looked through everything else when she hears a noise that stops her and makes her look up at the door.

Angus their 4 year old was standing there.

"Mummy."

"Hey Angus. Come here sweetie."

Angus walks over and sits down next to Meredith. He knows about having another brother. Meredith and Derek had told them about Patrick all the time but they knew that he didn't understand why he wasn't with them.

"Are you sad about today?" He asks.

"A little why?"

"I don't know but I think it's okay to be sad. Do you think it is okay to be sad?" He asks.

"All the time."

The two of them just look through the box.

"Mummy how is the baby this morning?"

"The baby is good. He is kicking me like you wouldn't believe it. Here have a feel." She says taking his hand and putting it on her stomach.

Angus just smiles.

"Mummy why does the baby kick?"

"Because he is stretching and moving his arms and legs. He is only in a small space in my tummy. It isn't like he can run around. This is his exercise right here kicking mummy as hard as he can."

"Do you think it's a baby brother for me?"

"I don't know. I hope so another boy so you have a brother to play with but a girl would do fine. Another baby to dress up in pretty pink things."

"You don't do that to Kendall."

"I know I was only joking." She says closing the lid. "How about you go downstairs and help daddy with breakfast and I will go and wake your older sister up."

"Okay mummy."

Meredith walks down to Sophie's room. Meredith opens the door and draws the blinds to lighten the room up. She sits down on Sophie's bed and kisses her forehead.

"Time to wake up sweetie." Meredith says to her softly.

Sophie opens her eyes and smiles as she sees Meredith.

"Morning Soph."

"Morning mummy."

"Guess what daddy is making?"

"Pancakes?"

"He sure is and guess where we are going today."

"Nanna's."

"Sure are. How about we go downstairs and start eating so we can hit the road. It is quite a long trip."

"I know."

Sophie gets up and hugs Meredith. The two of them walk down the stairs to the kitchen. They enter the kitchen to see Derek making the pancakes and to see Kendal digging her fingers into the batter.

"Kendall what are you doing?" Meredith says.

Kendall just smiles at Meredith.

"Come on let's get you cleaned up and get some breakfast into you." She says picking Kendall up and putting her in the highchair.

Meredith cleans her down and sets a plate in front of her.

They all sit down and eat. Angus and Sophie start gutsing themself.

"Angus Soph slow down you'll get indigestion."

"Sorry mummy we're having a race to see how many we can eat in 2 minutes." Sophie says.

"Well at least slow down a bit."

Meredith and Derek sit there watching the two of them racing. Angus and Sophie both looked like Derek. They both had the dark curly hair and the blue eyes. But Kendal was a mix of both. She had the green eyes and Meredith's nose but she had Derek's dark hair.

"Ha ha I won beat that Sophie."

And Angus had Meredith's appetite.

"Oh that was rigged anyway. You had a head start and I had to tell mum what we were doing."

"I still won beat that." He says standing up on his chair and doing his victory dance.

That is brought to an end when he loses his balance and almost falls off.

"Careful matey." Derek says. "You don't want to have a victory and then hurt yourself."

"Okay if you have all finished then I think it is time that you all have a bath and get ready." Meredith says to them. "And you can all have one together to save water and time."

"Oh come on mum we're not babies." Sophie says.

"Did I say you were? Come on you love sharing them."

"Yeah but that was when we were younger and didn't know any better. Angus isn't a girl, he is a guy." Sophie says.

"Soph who cares it's your brother and no one else is here."

"Yeah but I don't want to."

"Fine Soph go and have a shower in our bathroom and the other two can share a bath." Meredith says to her.

"Thank you mummy." She says kissing her cheek and running off upstairs.

Meredith looks at Derek.

"Okay Kendall Angus bath time. Angus can you help Kendall upstairs and I'll be there in a second."

"Okay daddy."

He lets Kendall out and Angus holds her hand to take her upstairs.

"I wonder what is wrong with Sophie this morning." Meredith says.

"She's growing up." He says clearing the plates away from the table and leaves.

...

Meredith packed the last of the kids' clothes and grabbed the toiletries and the nappies and all the other stuff Kendall needs.

She went down to her room and through the last of the stuff for her and Derek. Sophie walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed.

"Soph go and get dressed please sweetie."

"Mummy."

"Yeah."

"I'm too old for baths now. That's why I didn't want one."

"You're never too old for baths Soph. You used to love them."

"I know but I want to start having showers now."

"Okay sure it's your choice. Go and get dressed."

She left the room and Meredith followed and walked into the kids' bathroom. Kendall was splashing around and Angus was rambling on about everything and what he was going to do at Carolyn's.

"Do you want me to take Kendall and get her dressed?" She asks.

"Of course."

Meredith grabs a towel.

"Come on Kendall. Let's get you dressed and we can get going."

She lifts her out of the tub and takes her down to Meredith's room. Lying her down on the bed. She dries her down and puts her nappy on and gets her dressed. She starts doing her hair when Sophie comes and sits down next to her.

"Mummy can you do my hair?"

"Sure I'll finish Kendall's and do yours."

She does both of the girls hair and they carry the bags downstairs. Derek walks into the room and gets changed. Meredith goes to pick up the bag but Derek stops her.

"Hey you're not carrying that. No heavy lifting. You're 7 months pregnant and I'm not letting you do this."

"Okay okay I get it." She says.

"Hey it's for the good. I want my son or daughter being healthy this time round and not like Patrick." He says.

The name hits her. Her eyes well with tears.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry." He says wrapping his arms around her.

"The way you said it was like Patrick dying was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault. It just happens, those things happen and we always can't control it."

"I know we can't."

He kisses her head. She moves away and he brushes the hair away from her eyes.

"Let's get going." He says.

They go downstairs where the kids are all playing.

"Okay go and grab a toy and bring it down here. First one back wins." He says. "Ready set go."

The kids run off and Derek sits on the floor in the lounge, Angus comes back first, then Sophie then Kendall.

Meredith was packing food and watched them. Angus jumped on Derek and he fell to the ground. Sophie and Kendall jumped on him as well. The kids all giggled away and Derek wrapped his arms around the 3 of them and rolled them to be underneath him. He tickled them and they laughed more.

"Okay that is enough playing. Let's get in the car so we can go and see nanna." He says getting up. "I'll take the kids and the bags and you can bring the food."

In 10 minutes they packed the car and the kids and they were off.

Once they were out of Seattle they were on the road to Carolyn's farm 3 hours away. The kids were busy watching a DVD.

"I don't think I will last 3 hours." She says.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that the baby will use my bladder as a squeeze toy and I will need to pee."

"Okay well if you can last over 45 minutes then we will make it to the rest stop and we can get something to eat and have a toilet break."

"Sounds good." She says smiling.

In between leaving and arriving at the park for a break they had stopped twice because of Meredith needing to pee and because she also had to puke. She was worse than the kids usually were. They were 5 minutes out from the rest stop.

"Yuck." Angus says holding his nose. "Kendall needs her diaper changed."

"I'm sure it's not that bad." Derek says. "Oh wait. Kendall what have you been eating baby girl?"

"Yes Kendall what have you been eating. That is a real stinker." Meredith says.

"Can we stop please? I don't think I can stand this anymore?" Sophie says.

"We are nearly at the rest stop so hold on for a few minutes."

When they arrived at the park Derek got the kids out of the car into the fresh air while Meredith laid Kendall down on the floor of the car and started to change her diaper.

"Kendall what have you been eating?" Meredith asks her.

She just sits there smiling underneath her pacifier.

"You cheeky girl." Meredith puts a new diaper on and dresses her again. She sits her on the ground. "Okay go to daddy."

Kendall runs off to Derek and he picks her up in her arms. Meredith wraps the diaper up and places it in a nappy bag. She closes the diaper bag up and places it in the car then grabs the food bag and brings it over to the table.

"Okay let's see what we have." Derek says.

"Are you hungry kids?"

"Yes." Angus says.

"We know you would be hungry mate. Soph are you hungry?"

"Kind of."

They give the kids food and let them run around for 10 minutes before they have a toilet break. Derek takes Angus in with him while Meredith waits with the girls.

"Come on Kendall." Derek says as he picks her up after he leaves the toilets with Angus. "Angus let's get in the car."

Meredith takes Sophie to the toilet then they leave getting in the car.

When they were back on the road again Kendall and Meredith were asleep and Angus and Sophie were sitting arguing with each other.

"I'm going to ride Chestnut first." Sophie said.

"No I get to ride Chestnut first. Nanna said that to me on the phone."

"Angus I am the oldest so I get to ride him and girls before boys."

"Hey the way you two are going we won't let you ride the pony at all." Derek says looking in the rear view mirror at them.

"Well then who gets to go first?" Angus asks.

"Kendall can go first."

"But she has never ridden him before. She doesn't know what to do." Sophie says.

"Well you were all her age when you got to ride the pony for your first time so let Kendall have a go first then Nanna can decide."

"Okay dad." Angus and Sophie say in unison.

"So what else do you kids want to do when we get there?"

"Well can we go fishing dad?" Angus asks.

"If you want to then we will see if there is a nice day and we can go down to the river and fish."

"Thank you."

"Soph what do you want to do?"

"Well I want to help nanna in her veggie patch and plant some more strawberries and help her with picking the fruit and helping her cook."

"Well I'm sure Nanna would love to have you in the kitchen helping."

"Is Aunty Amy going to be there?" Angus asks.

"Yes she will be. She took time off at California to spend time with us."

"Is Aunt Amy ever going to get married and have kids?" Soph asks.

"Well I don't know. You might have to ask her that yourself when we get there."

"I will daddy."

"Is she there now?"

"Yes she is."

"And how much longer until we will be there?"

"2 and a half hours."

"Oh that is too far away." Sophie says.

"Be patient. We will get there."

"Do you two want to play a game?" Meredith asks.

"Hey why aren't you sleeping?"

"It's hard to sleep when you have a little person inside you kicking and moving every so often. I can barely get comfortable."

"Oh okay."

"Do you want me to drive at all?" She asks.

"No I am fine."

"Mummy can we play eye spy?" Angus asks.

"Of course. You can go first?"

"Eye spy with my little eye…..

On another road a head a car was travelling fast down the road.

"Is it the tree?" Sophie asks.

"No."

"Is it a flower?"

"No."

"Is it the road?" Sophie asked again.

"Soph you're never going to get it. It is the colour red."

"A car?" Derek asks.

"Yes dad. Your turn."

"Hmm okay. Eye spy with my little eye something…."

The car was still fast approaching the upcoming intersection and so was theirs.

"You'll never guess this kids."

"Oh they are supposed to be easy daddy." Sophie says.

"It is but you won't be able to get it mummy should." He says smiling at her.

"A bird?" Angus asks.

"Nope."

"A bag."

Within less than a hundred metres from the intersection both cars were getting closer.

"Nope."

"A blue car."

"Nope, you have a guess Mer."

"Is it the baby?"

"It sure….

Derek was cut off by that incoming car crashing into the side of their car sending their car flipping and jostling the kids and making them scream. Their car rolled and flipped twice before landing against a tree. The other car was brought to a halt on all floors.

Everything was silent excepting for the noise of the smashed up car and the panic of the other driver.

**So there was the first chapter. Let me know what you thought of it and I will post the next chapter up as soon as I get feedback about you guys liking it. **

**The next chapter will be the following moments from the crash and will involve their first meeting but lets just say as they grow up it is not smooth sailing for a few years. Also the flashbacks are in first person, either Meredith or Derek. **

**Let me know what you thought and an update will be up.**


	2. Holiday From Hell

**Thought I wouldn't leave you all hanging anymore. Thanks to all the positive reviews.**

**Here is the next chapter.**

Derek woke to the crying of a child. Blood dripping down his face. His driver door was jammed. The crying got louder and he tried to turn to see if the kids were okay but he couldn't move.

"Sophie, Angus, Kendall it's going to be fine. Just hold on."

"Dadda." He heard realising it was Kendall.

"Kendall baby just hold on for me. I'll get you out in a second."

"Dad." He heard.

"Soph."

"What happened?"

"We were in an accident."

"Are we going to survive?"

"Yes we are. We all are."

Derek had seen too many times from what car accidents had done to families. It ripped them apart and killed them. He saw what happened to some pregnant women. Their bodies usually took all the impact that their bodies were so beat up they always lost both woman and child or they lost either the mother or the child. He had to keep a positive attitude just so his kids didn't realise that something could happen to their mother and their future sibling.

"Meredith can you talk to me please?" He says. "Meredith answer me."

Her side of the car was crushed. Her whole body was trapped.

"Daddy is mummy okay?"

"Yes she is." He lies to them.

He reaches over and feels for a pulse. There was one there still.

"Okay Soph I need you to tell me what is wrong with Kendall."

"She looks fine daddy. I think she was protected the most. Maybe some bruising and cuts."

"Okay what about Angus?"

"His leg looks crushed against the door and there is some blood."

"Okay now describe your injuries."

"My arm is sore. My head is bleeding and my tummy and neck hurts."

"Okay thank you baby. We will get out in just a sec."

Derek then saw a young figure run towards him and he opened the door. Derek didn't even make out who this person was. He was too focused on rescuing his kids.

"Oh my god I am so sorry is everyone alright?" The young adult asked.

"I need you to stay calm so I can stay calm for my children."

"Yes sir."

"Now can you call 911 and tell them that there has been an accident with 6 people. 3 children under 6, a pregnant woman and 2 men. They will ask for where we are at and tell them the Hume highway 45 kilometres from Seattle and tell them Browns Gap Road is connected to it. They will be able to get here. Also ask them to send us to Seattle Grace."

"I already have called them."

"Well call them and let them know what we have."

"Okay yes sir."

He went off to use his phone and that's when Meredith started to wake.

"Der."

"Yes sweetie."

"What happened?"

"We were in an accident."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes. Are you okay. Tell me how the baby is doing?"

"He is kicking me. I can still feel him. My legs are stuck Derek."

"I know you just need to hold on."

The boy came back. Meredith had soon lost her consciousness.

"Okay they are sending people out straight away."

Derek looked across at Meredith.

"Mer wake up. Wake up for me."

She didn't. So he knew what he had to do. Reaching down he undid his seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

"I'm going to see how my kids are."

Derek opened the side to Sophie's door. He checked over her injuries. He could feel swelling in her arm and her ribs felt broken. Bruising over her collarbone. The laceration on her head was bleeding but didn't look to bad. If he wanted to he would sew her up right now but he was in no shape to stitch her up. He didn't want to move her just in case she had spinal injuries.

"Okay you look fine Soph."

He checked over Kendall next. She looked perfectly fine except for some cuts and bruises. The car seat had protected her a lot. Her collarbone though was bruising from the seatbelt and when he touched her collar bone she winced. It most likely was broken. He kissed her forehead.

"Baby you are good."

Then he climbed into his seat and looked back at Angus. He had checked over his injuries. That's when Angus woke up.

"Daddy."

"Hey big boy."

"My leg hurts and so does my head and my arm."

"I know. The ambulance is on its way to help us and take us to hospital."

"Is Sophie and Kendall okay?"

"Yes they are."

"Mummy." He cries out.

She didn't answer.

"Is mummy going to wake up?"

Derek didn't know how to answer that. "Yes she is."

Angus was now crying. It broke his heart that their family holiday turned into the holiday from hell.

He had checked Angus. His leg was crushed, his abdomen was hard, his head was cut and his arm was crushed. Derek climbed out from the car.

He needed a moment to himself for just a second. He walked away to a tree where he needed to sit.

The kids watched him walk away.

"What's daddy doing?" Angus asked.

"He needs a moment." Sophie replied.

"Look." Kendall said pointing down the road.

Angus and Sophie looked up at where she pointed. There they saw the flashing lights on ambulances, police, Search and Rescue. They then heard the noise from a helicopter coming from above them.

"Their coming for us Kendall." Sophie whispers to her sister.

Derek had regained himself and came back to the car checking Meredith.

"They're on their way now." Derek says. "I'm sorry I don't know your name?"

"I'm Jason."

"Okay Jason."

"I'm sorry Derek."

He didn't answer.

The emergency services had soon arrived beside the accident scene. Derek and Jason had gone to greet them.

"Okay my wife is 34 weeks pregnant. She is trapped in the car." Derek says.

"Okay sir. We also have reports that there were 3 kids."

"Yes they are in the car as well. The serious one of the three of them that I can see is my son Angus he is behind my wife and has crushed leg and arm, tender abdomen. The other two look fine but there could be other damage other than those that I can see." The paramedic looks at him confused. "I'm a doctor at Seattle Grace and once they are taken from the car send us there."

"Okay sir. We will get your kids out then we will get your wife but sir you need to be checked out."

"Not until my wife is rescued."

"Okay, okay."

The kids were rescued from the car and placed in ambulances. Search and rescue had had to bust open the door to get Angus and Meredith out. They got Angus out quickly and into an ambulance were they checked him over and stabilised his injury and his ambulance left followed by Sophie's, then Jason's. They soon recovered Meredith from the wreck and she was placed in the helicopter. Derek got in the ambulance with Kendall and the ambulance and the helicopter left.

…

25 years before the crash.

I was ten years old when I just moved back to Seattle. My mother had lost the custody battle against my father and my father had me sent to live with him and his new wife and his 2 daughters.

Climbing out of the car I stood on the footpath looking up at my new home where I would spend the next 8 years of my life.

"So Meredith, do you want to come and see your new room?" Thatcher asks me.

"Yeah sure."

Thatcher carried my bags inside. We walked side by side and something caught my attention. The neighbour boy.

"Hello Mr Grey." He called out.

"Oh hi Derek. What a lovely day it is out today."

"Yes sir."

"This is my daughter Meredith, she will be living with me from now on."

"Hi Meredith."

"Hi."

"Well I better be getting her inside. You have a nice day and enjoy the sun."

"I will Mr Grey."

Thatcher had brought me inside.

"That is Derek Shepherd. He is the same age as you Meredith. He also has 4 sisters. Very girly sisters." He says smiling. "Susan where here."

A woman then appeared in the doorway. She had both of my sisters at both her sides.

"Hi Meredith."

"Hi."

She walked forward towards me making me feel awkward.

"This is Lexie, she is 5 almost 6." She says introducing the daughter at her side. "And this here is Molly she is 4." She says pointing to the daughter at her other side..

"Girls this is your sister Meredith."

Lexie was unsure at first then came and hugged me. I was taken back at this gesture.

"I've always wanted a big sister."

"Come on and see your room Meredith." Susan says. "We have most of your stuff already unpacked. We're just waiting on the rest of your stuff. So if you follow me then you can come and see your room."

I followed my new family to my new room. Lexie opened the door proudly to reveal my new bedroom. It was just like my old room back at Boston.

"Do you like it?" Lexie asks.

"Yes I do."

"Well we will give you a moment to yourself. We'll be downstairs waiting."

When everyone left my room I went and looked at everything, running my hands over my things. Hoping they would bring back the good memories that I have had. I reached the window and looked out. From there I could see into the neighbour's yard. Running around the backyard I saw the 4 girls who looked like the boy from outside and also the boy running around playing tag. He looked happy considering he was surrounded by girls.

I smiled before I looked out towards the front yard and I saw a police car and two policeman walking back to the car. It was weird because they weren't there when I arrived, I then turned to see the backyard and a woman walk out to them and the kids just stopped.

I was unsure at what happened but it didn't look good. Policeman and sad mothers never looked good, so I left my room and went downstairs to my new family.

…

On the helicopter strip Dr Hunt stood with a team of 8 other doctors. One from OBYN to deal with the baby and watch her baby. Orthopaedic surgeon, neurosurgeons, general surgeons, cardiothoracic surgeon and different personal.

"Meredith Shepherd, 35 year old female, 34 weeks pregnant injuries from a car accident and her side of the car contained most of the damage so her body has taken a beating. Her husband tells us that she was awake for a few minutes before she went unconscious. There are also a few broken ribs and the baby is still alive." The paramedic from the helicopter said.

"Okay we need to get a head CT, get her on the monitor for the baby and the other trauma protocol." Dr Hunt said. "Where's her husband. Dr Shepherd?"

"He went in the ambulance with his youngest."

"Are the kids fine?"

"One of them has a shattered leg and arm and he was brought here in a serious condition."

"What about the other two?"

"I'm not sure."

Down in the pit the ambulances were starting to pull in.

"Angus Shepherd 4 year old male, has a shattered right arm and leg. His abdomen is rigid his father reported of him being unconscious for a long amount of time after the accident and half an hour later had woken up but he lost consciousness when we were about ten minutes out. He was also on the side that suffered most of the damage."

"Okay take him to trauma 1." Dr Webber says as the team for Angus follows.

"Sophie Shepherd, 6 year old female. Broken arm, bruising over her collarbone, there seems to be some spinal damage, broken ribs and a laceration to her head."

"Okay trauma 2." Dr Webber calls out to the team.

"Kendall Shepherd, 16 month old female. She was mainly protected in the middle but her collarbone is broken and just cuts and bruises." The paramedic says. "Derek Shepherd, 36 year old male, broken ribs and hand. His ankle appears sprained and the odd cuts and bruises."

"Derek, what happened?" Richard asks.

"We were driving and we had right of way and this car came out and ran into Meredith and Angus's side of the car and were sent flipping 3 times before stopping against a tree."

"Take them to trauma 3." He calls out.

"Is Meredith okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Derek she is in surgery now. The baby is fine."

"Okay good now you have to take care of my kids. Angus can you go with him Richard?" Derek asked with pleading eyes.

"Bailey is with him Derek."

"Who is with Soph?"

"Arizona."

"Meredith?"

"Cristina is."

He was relieved he closed his eyes and that is when everything went black.

Kendall was on the other table being checked by Alex.

"Okay we have to take him up for a head CT." Webber says. "Now!"

Wheeling Derek out of the room Kendall saw and started crying.

"Hey baby its fine." Alex says to her. "Are you hurting anywhere?"

She shakes her head.

"That's good. Now how about we go and get an X-Ray for your collarbone and then dad should be back."

She nodded her head.

"Okay lets order an X-Ray." He says looking up at one of the interns.

Bailey was doing a work up on Angus when his eyes opened.

"We have eyes folks." She says to the other doctors in the room. "Hi Angus."

"Mandy?"

"Yes big boy."

"Is my mummy going to be okay?"

That broke her heart. "Yes. Yes she will be." Her eyes welling up.

"What about my baby brother or sister."

"If you believe they will be fine then your sibling will be. You have to believe that they will be fine."

"Okay Mandy."

"Now are you in any pain?"

"No."

"That's good. The medicine is working. We are going to take you up for an MRI now. Do you know what you have to do when you have an MRI?" She asks as they wheel him out from the trauma room.

He shakes his head.

"You have to stay very still."

"I don't think I can do that."

"Well let's just pretend that its night time and your mummy and your daddy are reading to you. What's your favourite book?"

"Love you forever."

"Well luck would have little Tuck loves that book."

"Hi Sophie."

"Arizona. Is my brother and sister going to be okay?"

"Yes they are. Kendall is going to get her collarbone checked and Angus is going for an MRI."

"What about my mummy and the baby in mummy's tummy?"

"They are in surgery."

"Will they be okay?"

"Yes because they have the best surgeons working on them."

"And my daddy?"

"He is getting a CT scan. He wasn't letting on how much he was hurting."

"My daddy is like that."

"I know you all come first."

"Have you told my nanna and my aunties and uncles that we are here because we are supposed to be at my nanna's farm with my Aunt Amy?"

"They are on their way."

"Will we get the stuff back from our car because my favourite dolly is in the car. Kendall's teddy bear and Angus's Woody doll are in there as well and we can't sleep without them."

"Yes you will. Your daddy grabbed them from the car before he got into the ambulance. I can go and get your dolly if you want."

"Yes please."

"Okay well while I go you have to pick a colour for your cast that is going on your arm."

"Arizona, I was made at mummy this morning, I wish I wasn't because I shouldn't have been upset about bathing. Mummy needs to know that I didn't mean it."'

"Sophie, Your Mum loves you so much, she knows you didn't mean it."

"But I have to tell her that I didn't mean it."

"Okay as soon as she gets out of surgery I will take you to see her and then you tell her how much you love her because telling mummy that will get her through her recovery."

"Do you believe mummy will be okay?"

"You bet I do." She says with her bright smile.

She kissed her forehead and left to grab Sophie's favourite doll.

"Dr Hunt the baby is in distress."

"Okay. I am almost done with this. I want this baby to not come out until Meredith is 40 weeks. We need to also keep mum and baby alive. Dr Nelson how is the bleed going?"

"I have it under control."

"Good. We will get her stable then take her to ICU. I need someone watching both mum and bub at all times. We do not want one of our own leaving us at this moment."

Cristina was holding Meredith's hand.

"A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and while she held him she sang I love you forever, I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." Bailey said into the MRI microphone to Angus.

Kendall's arm was now plastered and in a sling. Sophie's red cast was around her arm and her head had been stitched up by Mark her spinal injury was nothing. Derek's concussion was from a bleed that would resolves itself and his hand had been plastered.

And Meredith was now in ICU with her body wrapped in bandages, she had 2 doctors in her room watching her.

Richard had put the kids in the same room with each other and Derek would soon join them in their room as well when he woke up. Angus would also join the kids once his MRI scan finished.

"And while he rocked her he sang; I love you forever, I'll like you forever, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." Bailey said into the microphone and the scans popped up. "We need to get him into surgery now."

**What'd you think. Let me know please. I was surprised with all these reviews and thanks once again. So the chapters will get better. I promise. **

**Okay next chapter will be straight after this, I will have it up in a few days depending on my schedule and stuff but it should be up not later than Wednesday.**


	3. You Have To Survive Your First Week

**Okay here is the next chapter. It follows straight on at the hospital but it has two flashbacks in it. First is Derek's point of view at what happened 25 years ago aka the first day they met and the second is from when they are 15 years old and Derek changes to Meredith's school.**

**Hopefully you enjoy and they will get better, the chapters.**

_25 years before the crash_

I stood in my front yard. I was fixing my bike when I heard a car door slam and I looked up to see Mr Grey with a girl. I watched as they walked up the pathway.

"Mr Grey." I called out.

"Oh hi Derek. What a lovely day it is out today." He replied

"Yes sir."

"This is my daughter Meredith, she will be living with me from now on."

"Hi Meredith." I say.

"Hi." She said shyly.

"Well I better be getting her inside. You have a nice day and enjoy the sun."

"I will Mr Grey."

I watched them walk inside. Then moved my bike to the backyard where my sisters all were. I didn't even notice the car pull up outside our house.

"Derek we're going to play tag. Do you want to play?" Nancy replied.

"Sure."

"You're it Kath."

We ran around playing tag. At one point I looked up at the window next door and saw a figure watching us but I looked back to the game and avoided getting tagged. We ran around laughing and enjoying the sunshine.

"Kids can you stop for a second." Mum said as she joined us. She looked like she had been crying and giving the worst news you could possibly receive. "There has been an accident. You're father… Your father was shot and has been killed." She tells us.

All 5 of us just don't say anything and we just feel our mum's arms wrap around us all. How can this happen, one minute you're happy and the next minute your life has been ripped apart.

Later that night our grandparents had come over to our house to watch us while mum dealt with things at the hospital. It was close to 10 o'clock. Nancy and Kathleen were in my younger sisters rooms trying to comfort them and get them to sleep. I couldn't sleep. So I left my bedroom and went out to the front yard.

"Hi." I hear from beside me.

I turn to see Meredith, the new girl next door.

"Hi."

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to pry but earlier I saw a police car leave your house and your mother come and stop your game."

"Um my father was killed earlier today."

"Oh I am so sorry."

"It's okay."

"Well my life is pretty crappy at the moment. My mother lost custody over me. My father and her and broken up 5 years ago and moved to Boston. I haven't had any contact with him for 5 years. Then my father wins custody of me and now I have moved back to Seattle to a new step mum and two new sisters I never knew about until now."

"That must suck?"

"Yeah I guess. I really hate family at this moment."

"Me two. I have my grandparents watching me at the moment. They are in the kitchen drinking tea and my 4 sisters are comforting each other. I don't have anyone to comfort me because they are girls and they get each other."

"Well I have been alone for the past 5 years I know how it feels. Do you feel like an outcast?"

"Yeah I do."

Meredith walked around to my front yard and came and stood with me.

"I wish I could sometimes disappear." Meredith told me.

"Come on don't think like that."

"But it's true. My dad took 5 years to come and get me. My mother left me by myself for 5 years. I was better off not existing."

"Do you want to run away?" I ask.

"Where can we possibly run away to?"

"Somewhere maybe the ferryboats."

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"Maybe. I don't know. This is really weird."

"It will get better. When my Nanna died it was hard."

"What did you do?"

"Well I just read a lot and was by myself."

I turned and looked into her eyes. They were so beautiful under this light.

"Derek?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?"

"No. Have you?"

"Nope. All the boys think I'm strange."

"I don't think you're strange."

She smiled back at me.

"Do you know how to kiss someone?" She asked me.

"No." I said.

"Do you want to see what the fuss is all about?"

"Maybe."

"Okay on the count of three. 1,2,3." She said and our lips met before quickly parting.

I couldn't form any words.

"I better be going before my dad starts looking for me." She says smiling. "Bye Derek and also remember that bad things happen but out of those bad things good things do exist."

She got up and left leaving me by myself. My heart had melted when her lips touched my.

I stood up and walked inside. She made me feel better even if it was someone to talk to I felt better.

…

"Mandy what's going on?"

"We have to take you to surgery."

"Why?"

"Your stomach is bleeding and your arm and leg has to be fixed."

"Okay."

"It will be fine. Now what colour do you want for your cast?"

"Blue."

"Blue it is."

"Mandy?"

"Yeah."

"When you put me under can you tell me Love you forever?"

"Anything for you Angus." She says smiling down at him.

Derek had woken up in his room groggy and unaware at what was going on and what had happened in the past few hours. He looked up at the door and Richard entered.

"Richard what is going on?"

"Okay Meredith is out of surgery. She hasn't woken up yet. Sophie has had her arm casted and is in a room with Kendall who has her collarbone in plaster. Angus has gone into surgery with internal bleeding and Bailey is operating while Torres is fixing his shattered leg and arm. And Derek you have had a mild concussion. We have your hand plastered. Your ribs are broken. Your ankle we thought was sprained but it is fine."

"Can I be moved into the kids' room? Or at least go and see them, they must be all alone."

"They aren't alone. They have surgeons and nurses all here that love them and have been in and out watching them and taking turns being with them. Meredith is the same. She has people watching her and the baby all the time. Angus when he went for an MRI made Bailey read Love you forever while he was getting his scans done. They are not alone."

"Can I still go and see them?"

"Sure Derek."

Richard helped him from the bed and walked with him to the paediatric floor. Richard knocked on the door and Arizona, Mark and Lexie were all in the room.

"Oh we will see you guys later." They all say kissing them goodbye.

"Hey Derek." Mark says. "How are you?"

"Yeah good."

"Okay well I will come by and see you later."

He left with everyone else.

"Daddy."

"Hi Soph." He says smiling and walking towards her bed.

He kissed her forehead.

"Dadda."

He turned to see Kendall sitting up in her cot. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. Kissing her cheek.

"Daddy where is Angus?"

"He has gone to get his stomach fixed along with his leg and arm."

"Will he be fine?"

"He will be."

"And mummy?"

"She is out of surgery."

"Can we go and see her?"

"I um." He said.

"You can go and see her in a little while I promise." Richard said.

"Okay. Can you come and tell us when we can?" Sophie asks.

"Of course Soph. I will be back soon."

Derek turned and looked at him in a way of thanks. He then went and sat down on Sophie's bed and Sophie came and sat beside him.

"Daddy I didn't mean what I said this morning. I'm not too old to have baths. I was a little rude to mummy. I want mummy to know because what happens when she doesn't wake up. She would never know."

"Soph mum knows you didn't mean it. You are growing up and mummy respects that. She just doesn't want you to grow up."

"Daddy is tomorrow Patrick's birthday?"

"Yes baby."

"Do you miss him daddy?"

"I suppose. It's hard to explain baby."

"It will be okay daddy. Nanna and Aunty Amy are on their way daddy."

"I know. They should be here by dinnertime so you can see them before you go to sleep."

"Will Angus be out by then?"

"Yes he will be out by then hopefully. It is a big surgery."

"Daddy I love you."

"I love you too. And I love you Kendall and I love Angus and mummy and the new baby."

"And Patrick?"

"Yes and Patrick."

"I wish I got to meet him."

"Well he would have loved you all."

He looked down at Kendall and saw that she was asleep. He got up and laid her in the crib pulling a blanket over her body.

"Here watch some TV. I'm going to go and see one of the doctors. I will be back as soon as possible."

"Okay daddy." She says taking the remote and watching the TV.

He left the room and wandered down to ICU to see Meredith. Standing outside the door Dr Hunt came and stood by him.

"How serious is her brain injury?"

"Well we are uncertain to know if she will wake up."

"Is there any brain activity?"

"About 30 per cent."

"Do you think she will gain brain activity?"

"I hope so. If she does though there could be brain damage. She could be a paraplegic, won't be able to talk or eat or have the basic motor skills. She might have a case of amnesia."

"So you're saying that she won't remember me or the kids or her baby."

"Possibly. We just need to monitor her closely. They are possibilities."

"What about the baby?"

"The baby is fine. We are monitoring it closely. We don't want your baby to leave Meredith until it is 40 weeks but the baby now is now 34 weeks so there is a high chance of it surviving with no complications. We are hoping that Meredith is awake in 6 weeks to deliver a healthy baby."

"Can I go in and sit with her please?"

"Sure Derek, you'll have to put a gown on though."

Placing the gown on he then stepped inside.

"Can I have a moment alone with her?" Derek asked the nurse and doctor in the room. Nodding their heads they left the room.

He grabbed a chair and came and sat beside her holding onto her hand.

"Kendall and Sophie are fine. Kendall is asleep now. Sophie is watching TV. Angus though is in surgery. He has a shattered arm and leg and internal bleeding Richard told me that when he had his MRI Bailey had to read Love you forever into the microphone because he was scared. He will get anything he wants and coming from Bailey that is something. The baby is fine. He is 34 weeks and Hunt doesn't want him to leave you until he is 40 weeks. He is hoping you are awake in 6 weeks so you get to deliver our baby." He tells her.

"And you there is a lot of things that could go wrong if you do wake up. There is only 30 per cent brain activity at the moment which isn't much. We all want more so you can be healthy and recover. So you can be a surgeon again. Be a mother. Be a wife. Be my best friend. Be my soul mate. I need you to open your eyes because I love you. I have ever since that night we kissed for the first time. The kids need you more as well. Who will be there to kiss them goodnight, to read Love you forever, to keep the nightmares away. The girls will need you as well to hold them when a boy breaks their heart or when they grow up to hold their hand because I won't be good at that stuff. They will need you to help them pick out their wedding dresses and help on their wedding day. Angus will need you and so will our new baby. We all need you."

He placed his hand on her stomach and bent down and kissed her stomach before kissing her lips.

"I'll bring the kids down soon to see you. Soph really wants to see you to apologise for this morning." He tells her. "And I didn't mean what I said this morning about Patrick. It is just one of those stupid things that slipped and I said it when I shouldn't have. He is our son and what happened to him is something that we couldn't help. I don't blame you for it at all."

He turned and left the room.

…

_20 years before the crash_

"Meredith wake up." Susan says to me. "First day of school."

Rolling over under the covers I realised that Derek and I were now going to the same school. He didn't like his high school from before and asked his mum to transfer to her high school. She finally let him and he was starting today. The two of them were best friends and from that night that met 5 years ago they never have left each other's side.

I shot out of bed and grabbed my clothes for the day.

"Susan is it going to be cold today?"

"It will be overcast for most of the day so wear something warmish."

"Okay thank you."

Changing I quickly went downstairs. Molly and Lexie were sitting up at the table eating breakfast.

"Morning girls." I said grabbing an apple. "See you later."

Leaving the house I went over to Derek's and he greeted me at the front door. "Morning." He said smiling at me.

"Hi. Ready for you first day?"

"Sure am. Bye mum."

Closing the door we headed towards school. It was only a 10 minute walk from our house and we had plenty of time to get there.

"Can I ask you something Meredith?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I will fit in here?"

"Yes I do. I hope you do. If not I will protect you. I'm not afraid to stand for what I love." She said turning and smiling at him.

"Me either."

Arriving at school I took him to the front office to sign in and get his classes then we went to his locker and he placed some of his books in there.

"So for your roll class just head down the hall and room 4 is your room."

"Okay I remember the tour of the school. My first class English is with you."

"Yeah just up the stairs and then room number B28."

"Okay I should be fine."

"You will be." I said as the bell rang. "Okay I will see you soon."

"Yes you will."

Going separate ways to class. We spent the day in most of the same classes. When it came to lunchtime we met in the cafeteria. Lining up to buy our lunch we grabbed our trays and went through grabbing our lunches. I walked ahead of Derek.

"Hey watch your step dork." I heard.

I turned to see two of the jocks Mark and Matt walk up to him and trip him making Derek fall into his lunch and hearing all the kids snicker in laughter.

"Mark, Matt piss off and leave him alone." I yell at them.

"Oh so you have your little girlfriend stand up for you manly, real manly." Matt says.

"Matt seriously get a life you moron. Do you want another black eye or do you want a broken bone because I know where and how to do that very well."

I run over and help Derek up from the ground. "Come on lets go."

We both leave the cafeteria when I hear more remarks about Derek.

"Are they always going to be like this?"

"Just wait I guess. They make all new students lives hell for the first week or so. I advise bringing a spare change of clothing just in case and don't wear undies that will hurt when you get given a wedgie. Also be mindful of your locker."

"So you have been through this all?"

"No I have just seen it happen."

"So why don't they do it to you?"

"Because I have given Matt a black eye after he teased me the first week. Then Mark joined his trio and ever since Mark has always sat with me in classes and I have warned him about what happened to Matt and they never touch me. Your just fresh meat that's all."

"Oh that makes me feel so much more special."

"You just have to survive your first week that's all."

"Okay, so what am I going to do about the potato salad all over my shirt?"

"Lucky for you I had a feeling this would happen so I packed a change of clothes for you." I say opening my locker and handing him a bag.

"So why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Because then you would have been worrying all day it just needed to happen for you to know. So go and get changed. I'll wait for you."

I stood near the boys toilets while he changed. Mark then walked up to me.

"So you're his body guard now. What else aren't you?"

"Mark he is my best friend. He is nice and caring and has been there for me and I have been there for him. If you got to know him then he is a really nice guy. Mark I think you would be better suited to him as a friend then to Matt."

"Oh you're jealous. You can get into my pants anytime because you have but Matt's you can't get into because he only goes for the cheerleaders and you're not a cheerleader because you don't have the connections. I could get you on the team if you wanted."

"What and become an easy root? No. I don't want to be a bimbo and have the jocks from the football team dating me. I will be one of those stereotypical couples that goes flaunting through the hallways. I want to be different and have the boyfriend who actually likes me for who I am and not for being a blonde, an easy root and someone to be used. And you promised you wouldn't say anything."

"Oh Grey you have so much to learn. I haven't. I promised that we wouldn't say anything and we don't all go for the cheerleaders."

"Greg and Jenna, Lucas and Mia, Pete and Cleo, JR and Chloe, Chip and Macy, Trent and…."

"Okay I get your point. Seriously the door is open. I'm always around you know."

"Mark I like someone so please leave me alone because I don't want you I want someone else."

"Derek yeah I knew."

"No not him." I say blushing.

"Earlier I saw you stand up for him, you brought him an extra set of clothes, you told Matt and I to piss off and usually you would stand back and watch. Your standing up for what you love."

"Can you just get to know Derek? He is a nice guy."

"Yeah sure." He says walking into the bathroom passing Derek.

"Hi." I say as he comes out.

"Hi, what were you two talking about?"

"Just the stereotypical couples and how the footballers go with the cheerleaders."

"Well I saw the sign-up sheet for the football team. I'm going to put my name down."

"Are you serious? You will not make it."

"Thanks for the support. I played at my old school."

"Hey your old school wasn't very good. You were good but the team wasn't good. The players are great on this team."

"Well you don't know what tricks I have up my sleeves. You will have to wait and see."

"Okay fine. Do what you want. I just hope you make it and prove them all wrong because you would really like the guys if you got to see there other side then there stuck up jock act. Especially Mark."

"Well that's why I want to do the football thing because that will at least me get a step closer."

"Hey this afternoon do you want to go for a milkshake cause I really need to talk to you."

"Yeah I do as well."

"So at the flag pole out the front I will see you there."

"Okay." He said.

After school had finished I met up with Derek.

"Hey." He said walking towards me.

"Hi, you ready to go?"

"Um change of plans Mark and Matt have invited me out for the afternoon. We are going to go for an afternoon and have a game of football."

"Oh okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." He says.

"Yeah sure." I say. I realised that I had just been ditched. "In the morning right."

"Hey Matt. Mark."

"Hi Derek you ready to go?"

"Yeah I am. Bye Mer."

"Bye." I say as I watch them leave.

I turn the opposite way and feel the tears streaming down my eyes. Wiping them away I hurry home because I felt humiliated. I arrived home and went straight to my room. I didn't want to face Lexie because she would ask me too many questions so I darted past the lounge room and went straight upstairs to cry.

…

"Derek the kids are asking for you." Richard says to Derek who is standing outside Meredith's room.

"Okay."

**What'd you think? Let me know. **

**Next chapter is still same old same old at the hospital with everything happening. The flashback is from 19 years ago and the day they were back in each other's arms. I'll try and have the chapter up in a few days. Please review and I might have it up sooner.**


	4. You Are Not Okay

**So I was feeling generous and decided to update this next chapter.**

"Derek." Cristina said entering the room. "Sophie and Kendall can see Meredith."

"Ok." He says. "Can you help me?"

"Sure."

Cristina brings a wheelchair in and they place Sophie in there. Derek picks Kendall up places her in a wheelchair and they take them down to Meredith's room.

"Dadda."

"Yeah Kendall."

"Mumma?"

"Yes baby. We get to see mumma."

"Cris when is Angus coming out of surgery?"

"Very soon Soph."

"Daddy can I see mummy first. I have to tell her something?"

"Okay baby."

Arriving outside of Meredith's room Cristina took Sophie in first. She helped her up to the bed and let her sit down beside Meredith. Cristina left the room for Sophie to talk to her.

"Hi mummy. I'm sorry about this morning. I shouldn't have got angry at you because I am not too old for baths but daddy says that you know that I didn't mean it and he said that I am growing up. I want you to wake up mummy so you can watch me grow up and Angus and Kendall and the baby in your tummy. I want you to open your eyes because I need you to look into mine and use them to watch us grow and guide us the right way into life. I love you mummy." She says kissing her cheek. "I want you to open your eyes so you can sing our favourite song."

She turns around and nods her head to let Kendall in. Derek brings her inside and places her on the bed. Kendall climbs up to wrap her arms around Meredith's neck.

"Mumma." Kendall says.

"Soph will you be alright for a moment with Kendall?"

"Yes dad."

"Okay I will be back."

Derek left the room. He shut the door and looked at his kids sitting with their mother.

"How are you holding up Derek?" Callie asked.

"I don't know. I um…. I don't know."

"She will wake up. I know it." Callie tells him. Derek turns to walk but she grabs his shirt. "I'm praying that she will wake up and that all the kids will be fine."

"Thank you Callie."

"Do you need to talk?"

"I'm just remembering high school and how I was a jerk to her for about year because I had joined the football team and ditched her to hang with the jocks i.e. Mark."

"Mark was a jock?"

"Yeah he was." He tells her. "Meredith and I were best friends since the age of 10. I begged my mother to let me change schools and I did. First day at her school I had my lunch all over me and Meredith saved my arse. She told me what to except and things like that. She must have talked to Mark because by the end of the day Mark and I were good friends and I had joined the football team and I ditched her at every chance I got because Matt the other jock convinced me that she wasn't quality material to become a cheerleader and for me to date."

"And you believed him?"

"Yeah I wished I didn't because she was beautiful back then. Maybe she was a little different and she didn't fit in the cheerleader bimbo thing but she was so beautiful." He says. "She still is beautiful."

"What happened for that whole year?"

"Well I ended up dating one of the cheerleaders Alicia. You know we dated for 6 months. I dumped my best friend throughout that whole time. Our walks to school never happened for that long, our Friday night movies and pizza never happened. All those things that we did stopped for almost a year. It killed me not seeing her. She was my next door neighbour but she never came outside or came over. I'm pretty sure she hated me." He tells her. "I was pissed and ended up sleeping with Alicia because I found out that her and Mark slept with each other the year before. It was horrible I guess. I wish that it was Meredith instead of Alicia."

"Meredith and Mark slept with each other?"

"Yeah but it was high school I suppose. Everyone does that in high school."

"When did the two of you run back into each other's arms?"

"It was last day of grade 10. We were about to go on break for holidays. Meredith turns up to school and the pink locks had disappeared. She had crazy pink hair from the day I ditched her and she started wearing a lot of black. But she stopped wearing black and she returned to her blonde locks…."

…

_19 years before the crash_

That afternoon Meredith sat in front of her mirror. Her pink hair was covering her face. Her eyes were blackened with eye liner, lots of eye liner. She was a mess ever since Derek stopped hanging out with her. She lost her best friend. One of her only friends. Since that day she changed her blonde locks to a bright crazy pink and traded her usual shorts and skirts to black jeans, black shirts. She also started hiding behind the black eyeliner.

She was sick of this look. She got up from her chair and opened the bag up on her bed. Inside she had a box of hair dye. It was the closets colour she could get to her original. She headed downstairs.

"Susan."

"Yes Mer."

"I was wondering if you could dye my hair for me."

"Sure dear, come and sit over here and we can set up."

The next morning I woke up. Getting up from my bed I went and looked in the mirror. My newly dyed hair looked better than before. I was turning a new leaf. Instead of my morning routine of blackening her eyes I left the make up in the draw and pulled my hair up from my face. Opening my draws I found my faded denim jeans and took my favourite white t-shirt. I always hid behind the black heavy clothing because of my body changing but now I wanted to flaunt it. I had become comfortable with my own body.

I left my bedroom and stopped into the kitchen to say goodbye to everyone and grab an apple and my lunch and I headed to school.

Walking through the gates everyone turned and looked at me and were confused at who this girl was. Packing my books into my locker I turned around seeing Derek walking down the hallway with Mark and Matt. I despised them so much at the moment. I hated them physically for taking away my best friend. As they walked by me their walks slowed and their heads turned to towards me.

I smile at Derek and turned back to my locker.

"Did you hear that Derek and Alicia broke up?" I hear. "I mean they were a solid couple. I thought that they would be high school sweethearts."

"Why did they break up?"

"I don't know but apparently he started to grow apart from her. He likes someone else. Someone he has known for a long time."

I shut my locker and leave. I didn't want to hear this I needed to not hear about his relationship. It broke me when he started dating her. I was falling for him. I headed off to class determined not to make a scene or be seen by anyone. It was my last day of grade 10 and I wanted it to be memorable.

I made it throughout the day without anything happening. A lot of people though started noticing me again and they started talking to me because they thought that I wasn't the depressed one. It was mainly the guys talking to me.

I said goodbye to everyone and started walking home. They all had the plans to party tonight I had made the plans to stay at home. I promised Lexie and Molly that I would have a camp out with them and I always kept my promises to my sisters. They were my world.

Molly, Lexie and I put the tent up and carried the many blankets and pillows and the food to make us feel comfortable. I bought a stack of candy for us all to share and I had to stash it because Susan and Dad hated us eating it but I thought it wouldn't hurt. I would make a limit on what they ate.

After dinner we changed into our pyjamas and headed outside saying goodnight to our parents and we went and bunkered down.

"Mer I really like your hair?" Molly said to me.

"Thanks Molly. I really like it now too."

"Mer you seem kind of sad."

"Yeah I kind of am."

"What are you sad about?"

I lie down between both of them and wrap my arms around them bringing them close to me. "Boys and love. I hate being a teenager."

"What is it like?"

"Well your body changes a whole lot. You start having feelings for people and you make stupid mistakes. You girls are will go through it very soon. You are most likely going through these changes now."

"Meredith have done it you… Like with anyone." Lexie asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I just wanted to know if you did or not."

"Well you can't say anything to anyone not even dad and Susan."

"We won't. Will we Molly." Lexie says.

"No we won't."

"Well I did."

"Was it magical?"

"I don't know how to define that. It was alright I suppose. I don't know how to explain it without too many details but yeah I suppose it could have been if it was with the right person." I tell them. "But I advise you both wait until you are about 16 or even older. I don't want you two getting pregnant at this age it changes your life."

"Mer would you want to have kids?" Molly asks.

"Yes I would."

"How many would you have?"

"I don't know. It depends I suppose on my career and the man I marry."

"I want to get married and have a bunch of kids." Molly says.

I didn't answer her I just lay there with them close to my side. We talked for hours about life and what we would want out of it. I loved my sisters and if something happened to them then I don't know how I would live.

It was just after 11 and I could hear the soft snores escaping their mouths. I smiled. We all shared the snoring trait and Susan said that the three of us together were louder than a truckie and that she could always hear snoring at night from all three girls and dad. She said she didn't mind it but she sometimes had to kick Dad down to the spare room or the lounge because she sometimes could stand it.

I tucked a blanket around the girls and I got up needing to pee, I just unzipped the zipper when I heard a noise. I turned to see Molly up.

"Mer I need to pee."

"Okay come on then."

Taking her inside we both go to the toilet and head outside. Molly goes back to bed and I tuck her in tightly. I leave the tent again and turn and jump when I see a figure sitting on my back porch.

"Derek what are you doing here. I thought you would be out partying."

"Well I wasn't invited because I broke Alicia's heart and I wanted to stay at home and maybe come and see you but I couldn't work up the nerve to. So I sat out on my back porch. I saw the tent and could hear the three of you talking and I knew you were out here so I came over."

"We haven't talked to each other for almost a year."

"I miss you."

"You can't come back here after all that time. It pains me."

"Meredith I shouldn't have ditched you for Mark and Matt. They weren't nearly as good friends as you are to me. You get me. I get you. We need each other to work and be who we are. We might not be in love but you are my best friend and I love you. I saw what you did to yourself for that whole year. You died your hair pink, blackened your eyes and started wearing black clothes to hide yourself from the world but today when I saw you I think I fell in love with you. More than a best friend. You are beautiful in every single way and I wouldn't change it for the world for what you are becoming. Alicia was just something that I was conned into doing. It was a rite of passage to date a cheerleader but I want to change that passage. I want it to change. I don't want some bimbo cheerleader who is only into her looks. I want someone who cares about others, who is beautiful and has a good heart and cares about me not just themselves. I want you Meredith Grey." Derek said in front of me. He was declaring his love for me.

"Derek last year when I asked if we could go for a milkshake I wanted to tell you all of this stuff. I didn't get the chance to but right now this is all I could think about. I changed my hair for you. I stopped wearing makeup and I stopped wearing the black clothes because I knew you would hate seeing me like that. I changed for you because I missed my best friend. I missed the person who has been there for me. I missed the boy I liked." I tell him. "I wanted to tell you that day that I am falling for you."

Derek looks into my eyes and the cups his hand around my cheek and leans down and kisses me softly on the lips and pulls back to take one more look at me. He bent down and kissed me again. Longer and harder. This is what I wanted. I wanted him.

…

"I knew that from that day we would have a lifetime together even if we did have the break ups, the fights or if we ended up on opposite ends of the country."

"Look where the two of you are now. You have the house, the marriage, the jobs and the beautiful kids. Those things may sometimes be painful but you get stronger and you experience those things and you know how to move on." Callie tells him. "You have been through a lot and you and Meredith always seem to get through these things even if it is painful. I have seen the two of you go through these things and it makes the two of you stronger."

"Thanks Callie."

"That's alright, now I came to tell you that Angus is out of surgery and he did well."

"Can we go and see him?"

"Well I will check how he is. He is still in the paediatric ICU so I will check how he is and come and find you."

"Okay I will be here."

Callie left and Derek stood watching his kids talking to their mother.

"Shepherd." He hears. He turns around and sees Mark walking towards him. "Your mum and Amy are here."

"Okay. Where are they?"

"In the waiting room, on the paediatric floor."

"Angus is down there so I will bring the kids down soon when Callie comes up to see me."

"I'll help you bring them down."

"Derek." He hears and turns around. "You can come and see him oh and your mother is looking for you."

"I know. I'll head down now."

Walking into Meredith's room the girls look up at him.

"Angus is out of surgery and Nanna and Aunty Amy are here."

"Bye Mummy, we will see you soon." Sophie says kissing her cheek. Mark helps her down and into the wheelchair.

"Bye." Kendall says kissing her. Derek picks her up and they head down to the paediatric floor.

"Are we seeing nanna first or Angus?"

"We will see nanna and Amy."

Walking towards the waiting room Derek sees Carolyn and Amelia stand up and walk towards them.

"Derek." Carolyn says as she walks towards him and hugs him.

"Ma."

"How is everyone?"

"Angus just came out of surgery, the girls are fine just broken bones and Meredith is in a stable condition, she is in a coma and they don't know."

"What about the baby?"

"The baby is going fine. They don't want the baby to leave her body until it is 40 weeks. That is 6 weeks Ma."

"Okay Derek I'm going to say this, the baby is viable and has a high chance of survival if it is born now. And Meredith is a fighter look what you have been through. Patrick, the drowning and everything else. Meredith will fight this Derek. She will fight this and you have to be strong to help her fight this and keep the kids strong and not frighten them."

"Okay Ma. Can you watch these two while I stop in to see Angus?"

"Sure Derek."

"Oh and Arizona gave me this, she said its Angus's." Amelia said handing him the Woody doll.

Derek grabbed the doll and headed to Angus. He opened the door and saw Angus's eyes open up.

"Hi dad."

"Hey Angus. Look what I found." He says holding the Woody doll in front of him. He saw the smile spread across his face.

"Thanks dad." He says. "How is everyone?"

"Well the girls are fine. They are plastered up and stitched up but they are fine. Mummy is out of her surgery and she is in a stable condition. The baby is also fine, Owen doesn't want him to leave mummy's tummy for 6 weeks. He wants mummy to carry him to term."

"What about you daddy?"

"I am fine. I just have a broken hand and I will be fine."

"What about me?"

"Well Callie fixed your arm and leg and Bailey fixed the bleeding in your belly. You will be fine."

"Is nanna here?"

"Yes she is, so is Aunt Amy."

"Can I see them and Sophie and Kendall?"

"Of course Angus. I will go and get them."

Derek left the room and headed down to the waiting room.

"He wants to see you guys."

"Is he okay daddy?" Sophie asks.

"He is good, amazing actually."

"Okay lets go see him." Amy says.

Derek stood there as Amy, Carolyn, Sophie and Kendall headed to his room.

"Derek are you okay?" Mark asks.

"I don't know. How can I be okay when my wife and my unborn baby are in danger? Angus has had surgery and complications could arise. The girls are fine but complications could arise. Have you ever heard of a 16 month old having a broken clavicle? Its crap this whole thing is crap. It's not supposed to happen. We were supposed to be at Ma's farm having a holiday before our baby is born, we were supposed to be with family and rest up before our baby is born. Our kids were supposed to run around at the farm playing with the chickens and the ducks and riding the horses around the paddock. They were supposed to help Ma in the vegetable garden and take the blackberries off the bush to eat. We weren't supposed to spend our 2 weeks in a hospital we were supposed to be having fun being in the fresh country air and not in the city it was our getaway, our fun family vacation not the vacation from hell. And it has been 8 years since Patrick has been dead. He died this day 8 years ago." He rants. "I'm okay."

"You are not okay Derek."

**Let me know what you thought. The next chapter I will have up soon. I am supposed to be studying for my trials but they can wait. The studying can be crammed in the night before.**

**The next chapter will involve 2 flashbacks. The first one from the day they were going to college and the second will be 2 years later and a sad ending for them because life got in the way.**

**Please review and I will update as soon as possible.**


	5. Life Got In The Way

**Chapter 5 is up. Hopefully you like.**

_18 years before the crash_

"Do you have to go to college Mer?" Molly asked from the end of my bed.

I was busy packing all the stuff that I wanted to take into my bags. Molly was sitting beside my bag and Lexie was lying on my bed, with her feet up on my headboard busy on her phone.

"Who are you messaging Lex?" I ask sitting down beside her.

"No one."

"Who is it?"

"A friend."

"What's his name?"

"Jack."

"Oh is he cute?"

"I suppose."

"Is he more than a friend?"

"I hope so. I hope he will be."

"Oh that's cute. I'm happy for you Lexie; I'm just disappointed that I won't be here to see this unfolding. I'll be off at college."

"You don't have to go Mer." Molly says as she plonks herself between Lexie and I. "You can stay here and watch Lexie and I grow up."

"I wish I could but I leave for college tomorrow morning. I'm growing up and you'll do your growing up without me helping you but remember that I am only a phone call away and when I get the chance I will come home and visit both of you girls."

The three of us were now lying with our feet up on the headboard. I was in the middle and had both of them at my sides. I was going to miss all these moments. Watching them grow up, finding love and losing it. Our late night chats about boys, school and friendship. I wish I could be here to watch them grow up but I was doing my own growing up. I kissed both of their temples.

"Meredith Derek is here." I hear Dad say. The three of us look at the doorway and we see Dad with Derek.

I smile at the two of them.

"We'll leave you too it Mer." The girls say getting up and leaving my room with Dad. Derek walks in and lies beside me.

"You ready to leave?"

"I guess. I still have to pack my clothes and the last of whatever I want to bring with me."

"Well I gave up on packing because I wanted to come and see you." He says. I look at him and he is smiling at me.

I lean towards his lips and kiss them. "Do you want to go for a drive? Go and watch the ferry boats, eat something. I want to take a break from packing."

"Sounds like a good plan. We could go to the carnival, the one that is in town."

"Hmm expensive rides and fried food sounds like a plan but I want to be with you and only you tonight. Spend our last night in Seattle together because this is where our memories were made."

"Okay I'll go and grab my gear and I will meet you outside in 5 minutes."

He left and I grabbed my gear. I said goodbye to everyone and waited outside for Derek. Climbing into his car he drove towards the docks and to our favourite lookout watching the ferryboats.

"So I grabbed blankets and snacks and we can just lay here for as long as you want." He tells me.

Laying on the grass in front of the car it felt perfect. We were under the stars and the night was cloudless and it was a warm night, a beautiful warm night it was perfect.

"So where do you think you will be after college?" He asks me.

"I am hoping to go to med school and still be with you."

"Do you think we will still be together after med school?"

"I hope so." He says smiling. "I want to marry you, have a dozen kids with you and have a lifetime with you."

"If we become doctors how on earth are we going to have a dozen kids?"

"Well we would hire nannies upon nannies."

"But they cost money."

"Well we would just unload them to our parents."

I smile at him and laugh and he joins in. "I'm really sure they would love that."

"Okay we can cut that down to 10."

"What about 4. Two of each and its smaller than 12 so at least we could still practice medicine with 4 kids instead of 12."

"4 is perfect." He says kissing my cheek. "I love you Meredith."

"I love you too Derek." I say as I lay back down. "I'm going to miss Lexie and Molly. I hated the whole idea 7 years ago meeting my sisters and moving to Seattle but after a week of being there I fell in love with the town. I fell in love with my sisters. They are the best sisters I could ever ask for."

"Well they are always a phone call away."

"I know but it isn't the same as our late night chats or our summer camp outs. We talk about everything and I share everything with them. Everything Derek. They get me through the day."

"You tell them everything, so you tell them everything. Where do you cross the line at what you don't tell them?"

"I don't cross the line at anything. I tell them everything. Derek, Lex and Molly are my two best girlfriends so it is just like telling my best friend about everything. Derek, you tell Mark everything."

"How do you know that?"

"Because after we slept with each other for the first time Mark just kept staring at me and saying stupid things and asking if it was better than when we slept with each other."

"Busted."

"Yeah but I don't mind because I tell the girls everything and you tell Mark everything."

"Let me tell you the sex between us is so much better than when I slept with Mark."

"Is it really?"

"Yeah it is. Something I could spend the rest of my life doing."

He leant over and kissed me and pulled away smiling.

"The rest of our lives."

…

Angus was taken out of recovery and brought into Kendall and Sophie's room just after 10pm. All three kids were asleep and Carolyn and Amy had gone and checked into a hotel for the night. They protested but Derek told them to leave and get some rest.

He sat in the kid's room. Kendall was sleeping soundly in her cot with her teddy bear and the soft snores were coming from her mouth.

She reminded Derek of Meredith. Out of the three kids Kendall was the only one who snored. He loved the snoring that escaped her lips it was beautiful and reminded him from when they first brought her home from the hospital and Meredith had her in her arms as they both slept on the bed and both Meredith and Kendall were snoring and it was out of sync so he could hear both snores coming from both of them and how he just lay there and watched the two of them snore. It was his favourite moment in life just watching the two of them snore.

He bent down and kissed her forehead remembering that memory like it was only yesterday but he remembered that it was only 16 months ago.

He turned to Angus. Angus still hooked up to a monitor just in case he started bleeding out again and nurses' still came in and out to check him but Derek reassured them that he was fine.

Looking at Angus made him remember the day that he was born. The 1st of December, the first day of winter and the first snowfall that Seattle had had in a few years. It was a beautiful day, the snow made it more magical. It was a magical day because his son was born but the snow made it more beautiful. As soon as he made his arrival Derek remembered looking out the window and seeing the snow start to fall. He also remembered holding Angus later that night when Meredith was asleep and he held him by the window and talked to him about the snow that was falling outside.

Since Angus's arrival it had snowed every year. It was like he broke the drought. When it snowed all of them would sit in front of the fire together and drink hot chocolate and camp out on the floor in front of the big windows in the lounge room so they could overlook the snow falling and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

Tucking Angus in tighter he then went to Sophie's bed. He remembered the day when Sophie was first brought home. Meredith, Derek and Sophie all went to the land for a picnic and a tour of the land where they would live after they brought her home. It was one of those days when it was a cloudless day. It was late summer but the warmth was still around. He remembered telling Sophie that this is where they would end up with the best view of Seattle. This was their home. He also remembered how the three of them fell asleep in the trailer. Sophie had spent one of her first day's home at the land, somewhere that was special to Meredith and Derek. They wanted to share the specialness with Sophie and had her spend her first day from the hospital at the land. Yeah she might not have remembered it because she slept the whole time but they wanted her to get used to it.

He tucked Sophie in and kissed her forehead. He watched her for a moment and noticed her eyes open.

"Daddy."

"Soph go back to sleep, it's been a big day, you need to rest."

"It's hard to sleep daddy."

"I know baby." He says as he climbs in beside her. "I don't want to sleep either."

"Daddy what will happen if mummy doesn't make it?"

"I don't know baby."

"Will we be able to bring the new baby home if that happens?"

"I think we will. I believe that we will but I really hope mummy is around so she can help us raise the baby because let's face it mummy is the best mummy in the world."

"She is. Do you think the baby is a boy?"

"I think it might be."

"Daddy how did Patrick die? Because I know that today is the day that he died."

"Well mummy was working and she fell over a trolley full of medical supplies. She was fine and so was Patrick. That night was mummy's baby shower and she started feeling pain like contractions and she thought her water had broken but it hadn't she started bleeding. We brought her to the hospital and the doctor found no heartbeat. The doctor gave her an epidural, broke her water and mum delivered Patrick. She wasn't in any physical pain but emotionally she was. He was gorgeous, he was so gorgeous. It wasn't your mummy's fault he died, it just happened. These things happen but look at what we have now, we have you, Angus, Kendall and we have the new baby. We have a family. I would have loved Patrick to be here."

"Daddy if mummy dies then that means she gets to go to heaven and be with him. She gets to be his mummy." She says yawning. "And if the new baby dies then Patrick will look out for the baby and keep him safe at night. Either way it will be fine."

"I know it will be but I'm hoping that we get to all be here together." He tells her. He looks at her and she had fallen asleep. He kissed her forehead and gotten up off her bed.

These hours were really sensitive to him. It brought back all those memories from the needles and the blood and the tears and pain.

"Could you keep an eye on them please?" He says to the nurse at the desk. "I need to go for a walk."

"Of course Dr Shepherd."

He turned on his heels and just started walking. He didn't know where he was going he just needed time to himself to get over the next couple of hours. He walked down to the nursery and stood outside the window looking at all the newborn babies all sleeping soundly except for one of the babies which was awake and kicking his arms and legs around. Derek smiled he always loved seeing that one baby awake who wanted to cause all the trouble.

He entered the nursery. Even though he was unauthorised to at the moment, no one was around and he just needed to get himself together so he could be with his kids and be with his wife and find out how she was doing and be with her longer than 5 minutes. He went to the awake baby and read his birth tag.

"Hmm Luke Braden Henning, 10lbs 4 ounces. 5th of June 2011. You were a big baby. I feel sorry for your mother." He says running his hand over his knitted cap. The baby's eyes followed him and he grasped his finger. "You'll have a good life. My life at the moment sucks. My wife is in a coma, my kids are plastered up and stitched up and my unborn baby is stable but anything could happen to him and today is the day my son Patrick died. He is turning 8 tomorrow. I miss him so much but I have other things to worry about but hopefully you are going to grow up and have a better life."

"Are you authorised to be in here." He hears. Derek turns around to see a nurse. "Oh Dr Shepherd. You're not supposed to be in here."

"I know I just needed to have some time by myself and be able to face my kids and wife. Every year on this day at this hour for a few hours I need time to myself to be able to face life."

"Oh yes, sorry. Well I was going to grab Luke and take him to his mother so she could feed him."

"Yeah of course. It's just whenever I come down to the nursery there is always that one baby who is awake and always kicking his legs wanting attention."

"Well he is a 10 pound baby of course he wants more attention."

Derek smiled and moved out of the way so the baby could be taken to his mother. Derek left the nursery and he knew that he could face Meredith again. He entered her room and sat beside her holding onto her hand. He rested his head on her bed and he eventually fell asleep.

…

_15 years before the crash_

We had been finished our college degrees now, Meredith and I had graduated and then after the break we were headed to Med school. Different med schools. It was summer break and I was heading home with Meredith back to Seattle. I packed my bags and went and put them in my car and came up to Meredith's room. She was dancing around the room with the music blaring and her bags packed and sitting on her bed. We had decided to spend a few more days here before heading home for a couple of weeks and then we were off to med school.

"Meredith." I yell over the music. She doesn't hear me. "Meredith."

She turns around and cuts the music off. "Hey you."

"We're supposed to go in 5 minutes if we want to be back home by dinnertime."

"Derek we have plenty of time. We have plenty of time to dance it out." She says turning the music on and coming towards me. She slammed the door and locked it before we both started dancing it out.

She was beautiful and she always took my breath away. I leant down and kissed her hard and long. "Let's go home Meredith." I say to her.

She smiles at me before pulling me down on her bed kissing me.

We packed the car and we hit the road home.

"So are you going to miss me when I go to med school?" She asked me.

This was the question I dreaded the most. I didn't want to answer it. "Of course I am."

"Will we still be together?"

"Of course we are. We have our future together."

When we were an hour out from Seattle Meredith had fallen asleep. The way she slept looked uncomfortable but she was snoring so she was comfortable. I had learnt that from all those years of being with each other she snored when she was comfortable. I was going to miss this for 4 years. I didn't know how I would be able to get by the day without her snoring. Of course I would sleep better but I would miss this.

I pulled up outside her house and shook her awake. "Mer were here."

Her eyes open and a smile spreaded across her face. In less than a second she was out of the car and running up the front porch bursting through the door. I followed her inside and saw her arms wrapped around Lexie and Molly. They were finally reunited with each other after a year. Lexie and Molly couldn't make it to graduation for Meredith so they stayed at home with their aunty.

"I missed you guys so much." She says. She pulls them back so she can see them. "You have gotten so big girls."

"We missed you Mer."

I cleared my throat and they turned and looked at me. Lexie and Molly came and hugged me before they went down to the car to get Meredith's stuff. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her.

"I'm going to go see Ma." I tell her. She nods her head and leaves walking to the kitchen.

Something felt strange and I couldn't pass the feeling. I turned and looked at the house. Maybe something was going to happen to the two of us. Maybe something wouldn't. Maybe we would be fine and these feelings would never overcome me. But this feeling kept me awake for 6 weeks. 42 nights it kept me up for.

On the 43rd morning we woke up in each other's arms, naked and outside in the tent. I woke to that strange feeling that I had the first day back in Seattle. It was our last day in Seattle before we parted to med school.

We spent the day the way we planned it. We were both parting tomorrow morning so we planned a day of doing our favourite things.

We had just finished our last thing, watching the ferryboats at sunset. We had headed home to her house and we went and sat in her room. We had candles lit because of a blackout. She sat on her bed. She was silent.

"Mer what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Meredith I know you to well, if you are silent then I know what is wrong with you."

"I just don't know if we will make it."

"We will."

"Derek its 4 years of being in different states and hours away."

"We can visit each other on the weekends and in breaks."

"Derek I don't think we can. Long distance relationships are hard Derek. I don't think we will make it." She says as she stands up.

I grab her by the shoulders. "We can do this Meredith. I love you and you love me. We can do this."

"Derek I can't." She says breaking down into tears.

I let go of her arms and leave her room. I go back home and sit in my room for a few hours not doing anything. The rain then started to fall outside and it was just after 12 am. I looked across and saw the light in her room still on. I left my room and went over to her house and threw a rock at her window to get her to look outside at me. She opened her blinds and looked at me. The blinds soon closed and I didn't know what was happening. So I stood there waiting. I heard footsteps in the rain and turned to see her.

"I think this is for the best." She says to me.

"What if it's not?"

"We might always end up at the same hospital but I think we need time to breathe and see where we want to go in life. We might end up together or we might not."

"So I ask too much?"

"Yes." She says quietly. "I need a time to think about what I want. Yes I wanted to be with you but at this moment I can't see my life with you. All I can see is nothing at this moment. Before I could see you, a house and kids but now I can't see anything." She says louder.

"So were breaking up?"

"Yes."

I lean in and kiss her and she kisses me back hard. Mum, Becca and Amelia weren't home they went down to the family farm for this week.

The rain had soaked our clothes and we were starting to get cold. I picked her up and carried her home. The blackout had affected my house as well so I didn't bother with the light. I sat her down on the lounge room floor and I came and sat in front of her. I looked at her delicate features in the moonlight. She was beautiful and I didn't want to let her go.

We both stripped our wet, soaking clothes and sat before each other naked. We spent a few moments looking at each other and memorising this moment. Our last moment for however long it would be. Kissing her I lowered her to the floor and looked into her eyes. This moment was going in slow motion and I wanted it be because it was going to disappear. My hands ran over her body and I didn't want it to end.

Just after 2 that morning she woke me after moving from my arms. "What are you doing?" I ask in a whisper.

"Going home." She says as she dresses back into her clothes that had been sitting in front of the fire.

"Thank you Meredith."

"What for?"

"The last 10 years." I tell her. "I'm going to miss you."

She doesn't answer me but I know what she is thinking. She leans down and kisses me. "No thank you. I'm going. I might see you very soon. Or I might not see you at all. Have a good life if I don't see you at all."

"Meredith let me walk you home."

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes I do." I quickly changed and stood up. I grabbed a hold of her hand and walked her the 30 steps to her front door.

We looked at each other one last time and our lips touched each other one last time. My hands stay on her body one last time and her hands in my hair for the last time.

"Well meet again Derek." She said to me before kissing my cheek and walking through her front door.

I turned realising that the love of my life had walked away because life got in the way. I didn't want it to get in the way. I walked up to my bedroom and looked out my window. I could see her silhouette and I knew what she was doing. She was sitting by her window, curled up crying because life got in the way.

I shut my blinds because I had to walk away because if I didn't then I couldn't accept the fact that we had broken up.

…

Derek woke to the doctors whispering.

"What's wrong?" He asks them but they don't reply.

**Okay what'd you think? Let me know.**

**Note that what happened to Meredith and Patrick was cut down dramatically to what had actually happened. I don't think telling a 6 year old the proper story was appropriate just yet.**

**Anyway the next chapter will be a surprise for both Meredith and Derek. That is in the flashback. **


	6. The Positives

**Okay next chapter is up. The positives is what Derek needs to get him through this time. Also the flashback is when they meet again after their breakup.**

**So enjoy.**

"We have found another brain bleed and we want to take her into surgery as soon as possible."

"Okay. Will the baby be fine through another surgery like this?"

"The baby will be fine Derek. It's a simple procedure to evacuate the bleed." Owen says.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"We thought her spleen would resolve itself but it hasn't. So we have to operate on that as well."

"Is that all?" Derek asks.

"Yes that's all for now." Owen says.

"So are you taking her now?"

"Yeah we are."

He nodded his headed and stood up kissing her and watching them take her out for the surgery. He checked his watch and saw what time it was. He must have slept for 7 hours because it was after 11 when he came down to her room. He left Meredith's room knowing that Kendall would be up soon.

"Derek get some coffee." Mark says.

"The kids will be up soon. I need to be there."

"I will be there. You get some coffee. I can keep the kids calm for 20 minutes."

Mark went to the kid's room and Derek went down to get some coffee. He sat outside the cart for almost an hour.

"Mark where's dad?" Sophie asks. She was the only one up out of the three kids.

"Well he went to get some coffee but I don't know he should have been back a little while ago. I can go and get him if you want?"

"No its okay. Daddy needs time. It's Patrick's birthday today."

"I know. He is 8 today."

"Did you see Patrick after he was born?"

"Yes I did. Your parents invited the godparents and close friends for the last bath. Your mother bathed him and that was the first time we saw him before he was taken away."

"Was he cute?"

"Yes he was. You've seen pictures of him."

"Yeah but I didn't get to see him in person. Pictures are sometimes different then real life."

"He was a perfect baby. His pout was just gorgeous. I remember after you were born I came and saw you and you were sleeping and you had that pout that Patrick had. All of you kids did. You kids are gorgeous and I will always be here for you all. Don't forget that."

"I won't." Sophie tells him. Mark wraps his arms around her. "Mark how is mummy?"

"She had to go to surgery to fix the bleeding in her belly just like how Angus had to have his fixed yesterday."

"So she will be fine?"

"Yes she will be."

Sophie smiled at him and he kissed her forehead.

"Do you want me to see how breakfast is coming along?"

"Yes please."

Mark left the room and Sophie sat up in bed. She saw Kendall stirring and heard the whimpers from her. Sophie climbed out of bed and went to Kendall's cot.

"Hey Kendall its okay baby."

"Mumma?"

"She is resting don't you remember?"

Kendall nodded her head. "Dadda?"

"He went for a walk. He'll be back soon."

Kendall whimpered more.

"How about I hold you like Mummy does?"

Kendall nodded her head. Sophie climbed into the cot besides Kendall and held her like Meredith did. She tried to remember how their mummy held them. Sophie was in pain from her injuries but she wanted to keep her baby sister safe and happy.

Kendall's whimpers didn't stop and Sophie didn't know what else to do. Mark walked into the door and Sophie's eyes met his.

"Hey Kendall what's wrong baby?"

"She wants to be held like mummy and daddy hold her and my arms are still too small."

He nodded his head and saw the rocking chair.

"I'll tell you what Sofia likes Kendall?" He says. Kendall doesn't say anything. "She likes me rocking with her in the rocking chair to keep her safe and when she is upset, I sit and rock with her."

Mark picked Kendall up and was careful not to hurt her arm. He sat down in the rocking chair and started to rock her. Kendall started to calm down and finally settled in his arms.

"When can we go home?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know soon hopefully. Very soon."

"Nanna's farm?"

"Maybe next year."

"With mumma and dadda, Soph, Angus and baby?"

"Yes with them all."

"I ride the pony?"

"Yes you will be able to ride the pony and chase the chickens and help Nanna pick the vegetables from the garden and eat the blackberries straight from the bushes. You will get to show your new sibling what to do at Nanna's and show it how to live the country life on the farm and how to collect the eggs and the run away from the ducks when they chase you. You can be the big sister."

"Just like Soph and Angus."

"Yes just like Sophie and Angus."

"Is nanna and Amy coming back?"

"Yes they are."

Mark's pager went off and he checked it.

"Sorry kids I have to go."

"I can look after Kendall."

"I'll page aunt Lexie to come and sit with you."

Sophie nodded her head and Mark placed Kendall back into the bed. He left the room and Sophie whispered into Kendall's ear. "You will get to be the big sister."

Derek had sat out the front for almost 2 hours. Doctors passed him without stopping, some slowed and looked at him but one doctor did stop and sit with him, Cristina.

"What are you doing out here?" She asks him.

"I don't know. My wife is in surgery, my kids are plastered, my unborn baby could die and its Patrick's birthday today. I need a moment."

"You have been out here for 2 hours."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I have seen you out here for 2 hours. You need to go be with Sophie, Angus and Kendall because they are scared and they need their dad because their mum is in surgery and they need someone to reassure them that everything is going to be fine."

He nodded his head and got up. Cristina followed him all the way up to the paediatrics unit and all the way to the kids' room. Lexie was in the room watching the kids.

"I have it from here Lex." He tells her.

She stands and leaves the room and he goes and sits on the rocking chair.

"Have you eaten yet?" Cristina asks.

"Not yet?"

"Okay I'll get you some breakfast." She says leaving the room.

"Daddy tell us about when you moved back to Seattle. You started your internship didn't you?"

"Yes I did. First time I saw your mum after 4 years she was more beautiful than the last time I saw here."

_10 years before the crash_

I had moved back to Seattle 4 years after being at med school. My mother I found out had Alzheimer's and I had finally seen my mother after 15 years but it was because she was sick and terminal. I had visited her when I was in med school because I needed to clear my conscious. I supposed I got a few good months with her until she started to get sick and I spent my spare time taking her to the doctors for tests and then we found out she had Alzheimer's. I started spending more time with her and tried to visit her in my spare time but I had to work to support myself.

Now I was in Seattle. Rain was pouring just as I remembered it. I moved into my mother's old home and had her in a nursing home to take care of her full time. Lexie had left home and was now starting med school and Molly had started college. My sisters had grown up and I was now taking the first step to being an adult. Dad and Susan had offered to buy me a house but I moved into my old family home because my mother would never use it and it was different to what I was used to.

Boxes were scattered everywhere and I even gave up unpacking because I didn't know to where to start. To be honest I didn't even start unpacking except for my clothes. Tonight though I didn't want to go to the intern mixer but I decided to show my face for an hour or so then I would go drinking not too much drinking but enough drinking to take the fear of tomorrow away.

Unpacking one of the boxes I see the photos and the memories that I made from the age of 10. This was one of three boxes that I had from the age of 10 to the age of 20. It was 10 years of fun memories, emotional memories and memories that I wanted to forget. There were photos from family holidays and school days and those days when I did nothing but stay at home with Lexie and Molly. When I pulled one of the photos out is was of Derek and me from our last day of school. I hated to admit it but I missed Derek a whole lot. I really wondered what happened to him. Susan told me that Carolyn had moved to the family farm after Amelia graduated high school and went to college. I had no idea where Derek was. He could be dead for all I knew.

I turned up to the intern mixer, had a boy called George following me around like a lost puppy and I was trying to hide from the Chief. After an hour I disappeared and headed across the street to the bar. I sat up at the counter.

"Um tequila please." I order.

"Straight tequila? Really? You are going to be sorry in the morning." The bartender says.

"Well that always comes with the drinking but tomorrow is my first day at work, so keep 'em coming."

"Double scotch, single malt please." I hear. I recognise that voice but it was hard to place because I had already knocked back a lot of shots and I lost count. "So, is this a good place to hang out?" He asked and I realised that he was talking to me.

"I wouldn't know, never been here before."

"I haven't even. I'm back in town after 6 years. Never tried the bar scene before." He tells me. I realised that I hadn't even looked at him but I was starting to get really tipsy from the tequila. "You're ignoring me."

"I am a little drunk so it's hard to look at you without falling off this chair. So I apologise for sort of ignoring you. Well trying to ignore you."

"I'm the kind of guy you have to get to know to love."

"So you're saying if I get to know you, I'll love you?"

"That's right."

"You really love yourself!"

After a few more drinks we were both drunk and I invited him back to my place. We didn't even make it up the stairs and we just ended up on the lounge room floor. When we started the sex it felt familiar but I could have just been hallucinating.

That morning the alarm sounded and I turned it off. I wrapped the blanket around my body and looked down at the man on the floor, dropping a pillow to cover him. The mane of hair, I recognise.

"Derek." I say a little too loud.

The man looks up at me and I see his sparkling blue eyes.

"Meredith. What your back in town." He says jumping up as quickly as he can to put his pants on.

"Well same to you. You were the guy in the bar?"

"You were the girl in the bar. It's no different."

"Okay this is crazy. What are you doing here?"

"Um I'm starting my internship?"

"Where?"

"Seattle Grace."

"You have to be kidding me. Why weren't you are the intern mixer thing last night."

"I only got to town 10 minutes before it started so I decided not to go. I had been at the bar for a couple of hours and had drank a lot and then we started talking and drinking and we ended up here." He tells me. "Are you starting at Seattle Grace?"

"Yeah." I say.

"Ok. So we will be seeing each other a lot then."

"I guess so." I say. "You better be going because I have to shower and go into work so when you get back you won't be here. So bye Derek."

"Can I ask one question?"

"Yeah."

"Whose house is this?"

"It was my mother's. I moved here only the other week so it is kind of stacked with boxes and things like that. I have to go. So I will see you soon." I tell him as I turn and run up the stairs.

Making it to the shower I am shocked that I finally run into Derek and luck would have it we ended up sleeping with each other the day before we start out as interns together. I never thought that Derek and I would end up in each other's arms again.

We made it through most of the day and avoided each other until lunch when we ended up side by side at the table. It was weird and we pretended that we didn't know each other.

We made it throughout the shift without saying anything. When we were leaving the locker room I hear my name being called.

"Meredith." Turning I see Derek catch up to me. "I wanted to talk to you and find out what has happened in the last 4 years. You have changed a lot."

"Yeah I guess that happens. Molly is at college and Lexie is at med school. I hear that your mum moved to the farm."

"Yeah she wanted to leave town but because she didn't want to move Becca and Amelia until after they finished school so she packed up and left and sold the house and dad's shop and now she has become a farmer with horses and cows and chickens and ducks and all those thing. Even though they were there before she is staying there full time."

"Farmer Carolyn." I say.

"Yes farmer Carolyn. She has told me all about the gardening she has done and all the animals she now tends to. She is happy, she is really happy. Its 15 years and I think she feels as though she has been there for too long and after dad's death she needed an escape and she was always going to move to the farm when we went off to college but she was starting to suffocate being here. So she is happy. She's been there for 2 years now so she is a real farmer."

I just smile at him. "So I was thinking about selling my mother's house but I thought about getting a few roommates to help with rent. Do you have anywhere to live?"

He stalls for a few seconds. "No I don't and yes I would love to come and live with you."

"That's good. Yeah that's really good." I say. "Do you wanna get a drink?"

"It's 8 in the morning Mer. How about breakfast?"

"Breakfast, yes please."

Sitting eating our breakfast I looked at him. "Do you think this is weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean after our huge break up I never imagined we would end up at the same place where we met 15 years ago. I never imagined we would be together 4 years ago, the day we left each other, I just… we made plans to marry and live happily ever after and you assured me that nothing bad in life would happen but I experienced so much in the last 4 years and it made me think about life in a different way but then today I was unpacking some of my things and I found a picture of you and all those memories came flooding back and my heart ached because I wasn't with you and I hadn't seen you in 4 years. We left each other in a weird way and I never thought we would be with each other 4 years later. It just feels weird."

"Well I would admit that it feels weird to." He says smiling at me and moving closer to me in the booth. "But we can get by this weird feeling." He says running the back on his fingers over my cheek. He then cups my face and leans in and kisses me.

The strange feeling we were dealing with before disappears after he kisses me. I lean in again and kiss him.

"Hmm I think that feeling has passed." I say to him. "Take me home Derek."

…

"I think daddy that you should have followed mummy to medical school." Sophie says.

"Well we needed to experience different things in life." He tells them. He only told the kids about how they ran into each other at the hospital on their first day not their drunk reunion. "And we did experience different things and I think it helped us grow more. I will tell you something your nanna came and visited me when I graduated med school and handed me her ring. She told me to give it the woman I love. I told her that I hadn't seen Meredith and I didn't think I ever would but she reassured me that I would. She must have been talking to nanna Susan and they were talking about what hospitals we were going to but they didn't tell us that we would end up in the same hospital."

"So Nanna knew that you would run into mum and they didn't tell you."

"Yeah they didn't tell us at all and she handed me this ring saying to give it to the woman I love and that was your mum."

"Are you telling them lies?" They hear.

They all turn and see Carolyn standing there.

"No Ma I was just telling them about when I met Meredith again at the hospital and how before that you handed me the ring and told me to give it to the woman I love and how you never told me that Meredith and I would meet again."

"Oh I just wanted you both to be surprised."

"Well we were. Very surprised." Derek tells them all.

"Um Shep." Owen says.

"Go Derek. I'll look after them." Carolyn says.

"Thanks Ma." Derek says kissing her cheek and going with Owen to Meredith's room. "How'd she go?"

"Good. The bleed in the brain has been evacuated and the bleeding in the spleen has been fixed." He says and stops talking.

"You're not telling me something."

"Meredith started contracting during surgery."

"Did you deliver the baby?"

"No the OB sewed her cervix shut, the baby is viable but we won't to wait a few weeks until we deliver the baby." He tells Derek. "The surgery is hard on the baby so that's why we think she started contracting. The next surgery we are going to take her in we are hoping is a few days away so the baby can rest and not start contracting again because like I said I want it to be 40 weeks when this baby enters the world."

"Okay, so how is her chance of waking up?"

"A little more about 40 - 45 per cent. Derek she will wake up. Trust me."

"It's just hard to think that she won't. Do you know that Meredith and I had a stillborn? It's his 8th birthday today."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah well it's kind of hard to think that she will wake up."

"Derek it has been 2 hellish days but you need to think about the positives because not thinking about them will make it harder for you to be able to get through the recovery. Just…" He says. "Come with me."

Owen takes him into Meredith's room and brings the ultrasound over and turns it on. He puts the wand on Meredith's stomach and the baby pops up on the screen. Derek can see the baby's face and he relaxes.

"The positives." Derek says moving towards the screen. He turns the volume up so he can hear the heartbeat.

"Yes the positives." Owen says patting him on the shoulder and leaving the room.

Derek turns to Meredith's stomach and places his hand on it. He feels a step closer to meeting his baby. He moves closer to Meredith and kisses her lips.

"Were looking to the positives Mer. Yeah so your cervix had to sewed together and you now have 45 per cent chance of waking up. It has been 8 years since the birth of Patrick but we have to look to the positives, just like the day we ran into each other after we hadn't seen each other for four years. Or when I proposed to you. Yes something sad happened after it but that was a positive. Our wedding day and our honeymoon. The first day we saw Patrick, Sophie, Angus, Kendall and this little one on the ultrasound. The day we got to bring the kids home. The house, our holidays with the kids and all the fun days with the kids and our family and friends. We just need to think about the positives. And what our life will be like when you wake up and this little one is born. We will spend our lifetime together." He says to her.

He turns looking at the ultrasound. "The positives."

**Hopefully you enjoyed. Yeah I just had to include their first meeting from the bar in here. I think it's kind of a funny way to end up back in each other's arms. **

**The next chapter is Amelia having a freak out because something happens while she watches the kids also the flashback is from 8 weeks after they run into each other at the bar.**

**So read and review. And let me know what you thought. **


	7. I'm Proving It To Myself

**Here is the next chapter. It mainly features Amelia and Derek. The flashback is based on the first season when Meredith feels as she doesn't know anything about Derek and he shows her the trailer and the land. And it is also based on the episode where she tells him about her mother. **

**Anyway hopefully you enjoy.**

_10 years before the crash _

It had been 8 weeks since we started our internship, 8 weeks since we moved in, 8 weeks since, George and Izzie moved in, 8 weeks since that weird feeling past and we started our future with each other. Our friends had been pissed about our relationship but once Derek and I sat down and talked to them then everyone was fine.

I lay there watching Derek sleeping. We had gotten this far and I was loving every moment of it because we were grownups.

"_I met Derek 15 years ago, my father won custody of me and brought me here to Seattle. I met Derek and said hello to him before I went inside and met my future family. The family that I fell in love with. That night I was upset and I felt I didn't belong. I went outside and Derek was there. I found out that his dad had died and we sat with other and we kissed. I think from that day on we had this feeling but we didn't act on it until 6 years later when we finally kissed and made up. Literally." I told Izzie._

"_But didn't you end in different states for med school." Izzie asked us._

"_Yeah we did. We dated for 4 years. Broke up after college spent 4 years apart then 8 weeks ago we got drunk and ended up in bed with each other again and it's been like this from then on." Derek had told them._

"_You guys are perfect." Izzie said. Derek and I shared a look and smiled at each other._

My phone rang and I answered it.

"Yeah I will see if I can make it. Okay bye." I said into the phone.

Derek stirred beside me and he woke up.

"Morning." I said kissing him.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing, just Cristina."

"Yeah I should have known." He said sitting up in bed and pinning me beneath him. "I have an idea that will wake us up."

"Oh you don't have to finish that sentence." I said.

He swooped me into his arms and carried me to the bathroom.

That whole day I was getting various phone calls from the nursing home I answered them but always left the conversation short when I saw Derek come towards me.

"A lot of secret phone calls today. Who are they?"

I bit my lip. "I need to tell you something, so could we go down to the tunnels?"

He nodded his head and we walked down to the tunnels. I sat in one of the beds and he sat beside me.

"Okay when I was in Boston, I met up with my mother again. It was nice and we got to know each other again. She said that I grew up the way she never expected but she thought that I still grew up well. Well halfway through med school she started getting sick, so in my spare time I took her to doctors after doctors and they finally found a diagnosis. Early onset Alzheimer's." I tell him. "I moved her here to Seattle and she is in a home so I try to visit her as often as possible."

He just looks at me and then kisses my forehead.

"I'm glad that I got two alright years with her rather than none."

"After your surgery tonight I have something that I want to show you."

"It's not an illegitimate child or an ex-wife?"

"Better than that."

"An ex-husband?"

"No its future related."

"You're pregnant." I say as a joke. He just looks at me with a tilted head. "You shouldn't have told me because I'm going to keep guessing and I hate secrets and I mean that I hate secrets. Why don't you just tell me right now?"

"Because you have to see it to believe it and fall in love with it."

"Okay, okay I can wait."

My surgery passed and he waited for me.

"Okay I'm ready."

He grabs my hand and he takes me to his car and he drives me 15 minutes out of town and to the woods. We pull up on this piece of land and he takes me out of the car.

"What is this place?"

"Just wait."

"Okay it was always in my father's intentions when he sold his shop to give me the money so I could buy whatever I wanted. He stated this in his will so when my mother sold up 2 years ago I got all the payments. I had it sitting in my account and I wanted to buy something with it that would be worth spending all this money that my father had earned. I always imagined building a nice house, with a nice view and with a nice lady to join me on this land. When we moved to Seattle 8 weeks ago I purchased something with the money, I had been looking at it for a couple of months before hand." He says. "This piece of land you are standing on is what I purchased. The best view in Seattle. I was planning on living in that trailer you see up there but I thought that central heating beat the woods. I kept the land and the trailer only because I met you and I knew that we liked getting away and being just us. So I thought that if I kept the trailer then we could come out here and be ourselves without roommates distracting us."

I look around and a smile comes to my face. I walk a few steps ahead and turn back to him. "A getaway for us?"

"Yes just like a honeymoon only we can escape to it whenever we need an exit and a breather."

I hold my hand out to him and he comes and grasps it. We walk hand in hand towards the trailer.

"Oh now I know why you chose me over this." I say shivering.

He just smiles at me, that McDreamy smile and I can't help but smile back.

"So do you imagine our life to move onto here in a few years' time?"

"I think yes." I say. "Best view in Seattle."

"Best view in Seattle."

…

The positives got Derek through a few hours. The kids were sitting up eating lunch and Carolyn had gone to sit with Meredith and Amelia had come to stay with Derek and the kids. They were getting bored and she wanted to help them get through that. So she had markers and casts to draw on.

"Okay Angus what cast am I drawing on first?" She asks.

"My arm cast."

"What am I drawing?"

"Spider webs."

"Okay spider webs it is." She says.

"Daddy I'm bored?" Sophie had asked. "Can we maybe get some colouring books or something?"

"Yeah sure." He tells her. "Will you be fine Amy?"

"Of course I will be. Angus is my favourite nephew and Sophie and Kendall are my favourite nieces and they love their Aunty Amy."

"Well you better not say that they are your favourites in front of your other nieces and nephews."

"Oh I won't but they know it. Don't you kids?"

"Yes Amy." They say in unison.

"Okay you proved your point. I'll be back, just don't corrupt my kids."

"When have I ever done that?" She asks.

"Last time we were together as a family and you went and took my kids on a sugar spree 10 minutes before bed and how you let them watch surgery videos and all those other things."

"Okay you prove your point but I only gave them sugar because you and Mer were out playing doctors, I won't actually say what you were doing but Soph and Angus were in my capable hands and they wouldn't calm down and sugar was the only thing that finally got them to bed."

"2 hours after their actual bedtime."

"Derek just admit that I am the kids favourite Aunt."

"Fine you are. Fun, childless, husbandless Aunty Amy. They have you wrapped around your little finger."

"Well I don't mind because they are beautiful kids."

Derek smiles. "I know. I'll be back in 5 minutes. Don't kill my kids Amy."

"I won't."

Derek left the room and Sophie sat with Kendall and they watched TV.

"Okay your arm cast is all finished Angus. What do you want for your leg?" She asks but she doesn't get an answer. "Angus."

She turns up to him and realises that he has stopped breathing. She hits the call button and starts compressions.

"Amy what's happening?"

"Girls I need you to turn around for me."

"Not until we know what is happening."

"He has stopped breathing." She says. "Now turn around."

Doctors and nurses enter his room and take over for Amy and she goes and stands in front of Sophie and Kendall making sure they don't look.

"His lung has collapsed." One of them says quietly.

"Okay stabilise him and we will take him down." Arizona says. "Amy where is Derek?"

"He left me to go and get something for Sophie and Kendall. He trusted me to watch his kids and his son stops breathing."

"Amy don't blame this on yourself it usually happens when kids are in accidents and when the lungs are still developing."

"But Derek trusted me after all the bad things I have done he trusts me with his kids." Amy says before leaving the room.

Arizona watches her leave and they stabilise him and take him from the room.

Derek was walking down the hallway when they saw a gurney roll out with Angus on it. He also had Amy crash into him.

"Amy what happened?"

She just runs away and Derek runs down to the gurney. "Arizona what happened?"

"His lung collapsed. We are taking him down."

"I'm coming with you."

"No you are staying with your kids. Derek they are petrified. Stay with them."

He just stands there and watches as they roll the gurney out. He can hear the cries coming from inside the room.

"Soph, Kendall it's okay. He'll be fine."

"Aunty Amy is upset."

"I know. She needs time to breathe. When we find out more about Angus I will go and see her."

"Daddy you have to go and see her now because she thinks it's her fault."

"No one is here to watch you kids."

"Alex." Kendall says pointing.

"I came down to see how it was going, Angus's lung collapsed?"

"Yeah it did and Amy has ran off. Could you watch them for a few minutes while I check Amy?"

"Of course."

Derek left to find Amy. He always remembered how she liked sitting in the quiets part of the hospital when she was upset or needed to take a moment to be herself. So Derek headed to the quietest part of the hospital, the basement. Meredith and him used to always sit down in the tunnels in the basement and used to sleep there or study.

He walked down to the tunnels and could hear the sniffles echoing throughout the tunnels. He knew exactly where she was. He turned the corner and found Amelia sitting there crying.

"Amy." He said. She didn't look up. "Amy look at me." He said sitting beside her.

Her tear filled eyes looked up at him. "You saw what happened. You left me with your kids and one of them stops breathing and I didn't even notice. Derek you were right. I am the worst person to watch the kids. I wasn't watching Angus and then he stopped breathing and he almost died. You said to watch them and I didn't."

"Amy you were watching them. These things just happen. You should know. We're doctors and these things always happen and we don't know why. We didn't expect Angus's lung to collapse but it just happens. We didn't expect to be in a car accident but it happens."

"But I'm irresponsible and unreliable. Derek why did you leave me with them?"

"Because I trust you Amy and you are not irresponsible or unreliable. You are Amy. At times you can be irresponsible but its life people at times are like that. Amy don't blame this on yourself because it's not your fault. Promise me that you won't blame yourself."

"Okay."

"Good." He says. "That night when you babysat for Meredith and I. Do you remember? You had Angus and Sophie and you gave them all that sugar before bedtime." He said. She nodded her head. "Well you done what was best for you to help out. I know you tried calling us but we didn't pick up and that is called irresponsible. We were too busy having sex to actually answer your cry for help. So you're not the only irresponsible one. We were and it was our own kids. We were too busy trying for another baby we just left you to look after them."

"Yeah that was a fun night though, I have to admit but I don't know if being irresponsible falls under the fact that you were trying to create a new life."

"Well we didn't answer your calls that's irresponsible."

She just smiled at him. "You were still trying to create a new life. I don't think that's irresponsible. I think it's beautiful."

"Okay coming from the person who hasn't had any kids and looks as though you never are."

"Hey I could. I'm just looking for the right guy."

"That's what they all say." He says. "Do you want to have kids? You can be honest with me?"

"I don't know Derek. I'm happy with just being surrounded by my nieces and nephews. I guess I want to wait until I am a resident and finished my fellowships. I wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world when I'm too busy to give it any attention."

"So do you think I would at least get one niece or nephew from you?"

"Maybe." She says smiling at him. "We were raised surrounded by family so it is a dream and something that is natural to happen."

"Well you would be a great mum."

"You think?"

"Yeah. Kids don't come with instructions and you have to figure things out on your own most of the time but your smart and you would figure that out and be a great mum."

A single tear ran down her face and she hugged Derek.

"I think you and Mer and the best parents. You're just so relaxed and carefree. You let the kids explore and do things on their own. I still remember when you brought Sophie out to the farm for the first time and she had learnt to walk and she wanted to go everywhere and anywhere. You let her do that. You stood back and watched so she didn't walk too far away but you let her grow up and find her feet and see how things in life happen. I still remember how she walked into the chook pen with the ducks and she was walking around and the duck chased her. You stepped in and got her when she cried but you let her experience that so she knew what to do in future. It is my favourite thing just watching you and Meredith parent because you let your kids do things at their own expense with no boundaries so they learn what to do better next time or what not to do. It's so beautiful just seeing that."

"That was funny how she started walking and then didn't want us to help her. She wanted to be the big girl and do things herself and she did but she gave up after the duck chased her and she wanted to be carried around just in case it happened again."

"She was so cute but like I said you let her do that on her own so she learnt next time not to touch the duck and that that duck was the one that chased you. Your kids were determined though to do things on their own since they were young enough to hold their heads up."

"It's called determination. Kendall is different though. When she started walking she wanted to have us hold her hand and watch her all the time. Sophie and Angus would do things without us but Kendall now is becoming more like that."

The two sat there in silence contemplating and thinking about the kids and the different memories.

"I better head back upstairs because Alex is watching the kids."

They headed back upstairs together.

"I also remember Sophie riding the pony for the first time. She acted so professional. My favourite memories are always from the farm with the kids." She says.

"Yeah a different side always comes out of the kids when we go there. It's the same with the other kids though."

"Yeah I realised that now."

Walking inside the room Alex was playing a game with the girls.

"Amy are you okay?" Sophie asks.

"Yeah Soph. I just needed to breathe." She told her. "Come here."

Sophie stood up and Amy picked her up and hugged her tightly but not too tightly to hurt her ribs and collarbone.

"I love you Amy." She says. "And you're my favourite Aunty along with Lexie."

"Lexie is a fun aunt as well isn't she. I love you to Soph."

She placed her back in her bed and then went and hugged Kendall.

"Derek can I have a quick word?" Arizona asks. "Okay we got his lung up again and he is on a breathing machine for the moment but let me say we didn't expect this to happen."

"Yeah well Amy was beating herself up over it. I told her not to because it happens."

"Okay well we have him in recovery for the moment and we will leave him there for a couple of hours to rest. We have him sedated at the moment so he is resting."

"Thanks Arizona."

"No problems Derek. Now I hear that your baby was almost delivered in Meredith's surgery."

"Yeah she started contracting but they don't want the baby delivered until Mer is 40 weeks so they sewed her cervix up. Nothing is coming out of there for a while."

"Well the baby would have had a good chance of surviving if he was born."

"Yeah I know but I am aiming for at least after 36 weeks before he can be born because that's the viable mark and that reassures not being in the NICU and things like that."

"Well it will be a healthy baby. I'll keep you posted on Angus."

"Thanks." He said walking back into the room.

"Daddy is Angus okay?"

"Yes they just want to monitor him for a couple of hours and then Arizona will bring him back in here."

"Good because I miss him already." Sophie says.

"Me too." Kendall says.

"Amy can you watch them again for 2 minutes. I need to go to the toilet."

She doesn't say anything and looks at him. He nods his head at her. "Sure."

Leaving the room Amelia starts to panic, like what would happen if Kendall started seizing or Sophie started coughing up blood. She didn't want to be the responsible one for that.

"Amy it wasn't your fault that Angus stopped breathing." Sophie tells her. "Those things just happen."

"I know sweetie. That's what your daddy told me." She said stroking her hair. "Soph do you remember the time I babysat you and Angus?"

"Yeah and you gave us lots of sugar and then daddy wasn't happy."

"No he wasn't."

"Are you ever going to get married and have kids?"

"Maybe Soph."

"Can I be flower girl?"

"Well it is going to be a hard choice considering I have 11 nieces to choose from, but you will be on top of the list."

"I think that you should only choose one of your nieces under the age of 8 and over the age of 5."

"That only leaves you." She says.

Sophie just smiles up at her. "That's the point."

"You are so much like your father. A little smarty but you are cute so you can pull it off."

"Can you at least make my older cousins out of the running because they aren't cute enough to be flower girls? You have to be under the age of 8 to be one."

"Says who?"

"Says my friend from school. She gets to be flower girl and she told me its only because she is 6 and only 6 year olds can do it."

"Well I believe that anyone can do it but your older girl cousins have gotten to be flower girls before."

"See that's why it should be me and Kendall."

"I'll think about it Soph but I'm not getting married."

"You know you could walk out of here and meet your future husband."

"You are so much like your father." Amelia says to her. "But I know. I could have already met him but don't know that I am going to marry him."

"Yeah just like mummy and daddy."

"Your mummy and daddy said they were going to marry each other from the age of 16 and they did."

"I got told a different story. I got told that they were best friends for years then daddy wanted to be mummy's girlfriend and they did then they grew up and got married."

Amelia just smiled. "Yeah that's about it."

She checked her watch and saw what time it was.

"Hey I think it's time for you girls to be getting to bed. It's almost your bedtime."

"Can you read us a story and rock us?" Sophie asked.

"Of course. What book do you want me to read?"

"This one."

Amelia grabbed the girls and sat in the rocking chair with them. She had the book held out in front and started to read the book. She didn't even get past the first page and the girls were out like a light. She continued to read the story and rocked them. She finished the book and closed it holding the girls tightly.

Derek soon walked in the room and saw the kids asleep.

"See I got them to sleep on their bedtime."

"Great work Amy."

"Can you give us a hand?"

Derek lifted Kendall up and laid her in her cot and tucked her in and Amelia tucked Sophie in. Sophie had a good grip on her shirt though.

"Oh." She whispers.

"What."

"Look."

Derek saw the tight hold on Amelia's shirt. She didn't want to wake her so she climbed into bed with her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I am." She says. "I'm proving that I can be a good aunty."

"But you are."

"I'm proving it to myself."

**What'd you think? Let me know. Thanks for the reviews as well. Everyone seems to be loving the story which is weird.**

**Next flashback will involve the prom and the proposal between Meredith and Derek. And then the second one will be the wedding. **

**I'll update as soon as possible. Read and review.**


	8. She Told Me To Trust Fate

**You guys are really loving this. So I thought I would update it.**

**This is the proposal and its based on one of my favourite episodes **_**Losing my religion. **_**And the second flashback is the wedding. Hopefully you enjoy.**

_10 years before the crash _

I was excited about tonight, well excited for what I had planned for tonight. I had a romantic dinner planned for the two of us, then a drive out to the trailer and I was hoping on getting down on one knee and proposing to Meredith. The ring was at home in one of my old jacket jumpers. I knew she wouldn't go looking for anything in my jackets so I hid it in there.

I quickly ran into the locker room and went to the pit. I see Meredith sitting by one of the beds.

She smiles at me and I imagine what her face will be like tonight.

It was a little after 5 and I was getting nervous. In a few short hours we would go out for dinner and then I would take her to the trailer. I looked around the hospital and I couldn't find her anywhere. She had disappeared. I found Dr Bailey.

"Have you seen Meredith?"

"Not since this afternoon." She said with a look on her face. "Derek I have to go into surgery."

"Thanks anyway."

I couldn't find her anywhere but I knew the plans would have to be postponed when I was called into surgery. The proposal would have to be called off until tomorrow night.

After my surgery I was leaving the OR and that is when I saw Meredith being yelled at by Dr Bailey and the seriousness on her face and on their faces. They were silent and looked as though if they said something they would be hit. Her eyes met mine and she soon walked off.

The next time I saw here was sitting under the OR board with Izzie, George and Cristina. And they all looked pissed off.

I went and sat beside her.

"What happened?" I ask in a whisper.

"I can't say." She says quietly back.

"Come on you can."

"I would if I could. If you trust me then you will leave it be for a while until we know what has happened."

I nodded my head at her. I knew I needed to agree. I leant in and kissed her cheek.

"Well I'll be around." I say as I leave her and everyone else.

The next time I saw Meredith was after the morning and I crashed into her. She was holding menus.

"Hi." She says.

"How is everything?"

"Well I am the person in charge of organising food for this prom tonight."

"Oh yes I heard about that."

"It's a stupid idea. Seriously we are doctors not supermodels."

"Well you are a sexy doctor. You could be a supermodel."

"You're trying to butter me up."

"It worked didn't it?"

She nods her head at me and smiles.

"I have to get going. Organise this food. I will see you later." She said walking away.

"Mer." I call out. She turns and looks at me. "Wanna go to prom with me?"

She just looks at me smirking and then turns and leaves. This could be my chance for the proposal.

We went home in separate cars and I beat her home. I grabbed my tux from the cupboard and laid it out on the bed. I then went to that jacket that I hid the ring in and took it out.

"_Your father always wanted you to have this for the woman you loved?"_

"_But Meredith isn't here. I don't think I will ever see her again and after the way we left things I think that would be hard."_

"_Just trust fate. It might happen."_

I went and pocketed it in my tux pocket and I got ready.

…

Arriving home after organising the prom I was exhausted. I wanted to shower really badly. I heard the shower going as I walked into the bedroom. I dropped my clothes and went and joined Derek in the shower. I had had a bad 24 hours. I wanted to stay at home for the night and just cuddle in Derek's arms but of course the stupid prom thing had to happen. He left the shower and I stayed in the hot water for another 10 minutes.

Emerging with the towel around me I went and sat on the bed and watched Derek dress in his suit. It made him look handsome. He was putting his tie on and he came over to me. I just kept smiling at him.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing. You just look handsome in that suit."

"Well if you keep looking at me the suit will be on the ground not making me handsome."

He finished tying his tie and he kissed me on the lips.

"Do you know what you're going to wear?"

"Not really but I think I have a dress in there."

"Okay well you better get ready. We have to go in less than an hour."

"I can be ready in 10 minutes if I really wanted to be but I like taking my time."

"I know you do." He says. "Are we going to go together?"

"Of course. I'm your date. You have to take me."

"Oh that makes sense. Well the car will be around at 10 to 7. You better be ready for then."

"I will be." I tell him. He kisses my lips and leaves the room for me to get dressed.

I open my cupboard and try to find a dress. I look at all of them and they are all not formal enough for a prom. I keep looking and finally find the one I was looking for.

I start my makeup and then my hair and finish off dressing. I find a pair of shoes and strap them to my feet just as the door opens.

"It's 10 to. The car is leaving."

"Well I am ready to go." I say standing to kiss him.

"You look beautiful." He leans around me and grabs his coat and the two of us leave the house.

"Do you want to get something to eat or do you want to dance?" He asks me.

"Let's dance. The food isn't very nice."

"You organised it."

"Yeah well I passed that off to Cristina, so I didn't technically organise it. She needed a distraction so I gave her the food duty." I tell him as we start swaying to the music.

"Okay well if I don't like it then I don't get to punish you." He says seductively in my ear.

"You can punish me all you want but when we are in the privacy of our own home."

"I have a better idea." He says as he takes me and leads me away from the dance floor. I was hoping no one saw us leave.

He dragged me down the corridor and then into an empty exam room.

"I hope no one saw us."

"They were too busy spitting out the punch to notice us disappear." He said smiling at me.

I looked at him and he looked happier, like he was going to change his life.

"Meredith, I need to say something or more like tell you something." He says and he reaches into his pocket and takes out a ring and flashes it before me. I had seen this ring before. It was his mother's ring.

"Derek." I gasp.

"Okay last year I didn't think that we would be here with each other. When we said goodbye to each other on that night before we left for med school I was shattered and I never thought we would be together again like we are now. When my mother came and visited me last year at med school just before I graduated we went out for dinner and we came and sat on one of the benches outside the school. She reached inside her pocket and pulled out her ring. The ring my father gave her." He says stopping for a few seconds to admire the ring.

"She told me to give this to the woman I love, I told her that you were the woman I loved and that I never thought we would be with each other again. She told me to trust fate. I pocketed the ring and never thought about it again because I wasn't with you. Did I know that 2 weeks later I would end up in your arms again? Meredith I love you. I have ever since that night 15 years ago we met. You are beautiful and just someone who I couldn't imagine my life without. When we were growing up we always talked about how we would want to grow up and how we would grow up. Together, to become doctors, marry each other, have kids and live in a big house were all we cared about was our kids. 6 months ago when we ended up in bed with each other I went and found that ring and hid it so when the time was right I could find it easily and ask you to marry me." He tells me. He looks at the ring before looking up at me.

"So Meredith Grey will you marry me to become my wife and the person I spend the rest of my life with because you are the only person in the whole entire world that I would want to marry." He asks me.

I look at him and a smile creeps onto my face. The whole speech he gave me made a tear fall down my cheek. "Yes, yes I will." I say with a hoarse voice.

He places the ring on my finger and kisses me. We pull apart and look at each other.

"You never told me about your mother." I say.

"Well that would have given away the whole proposal and the specialness of the proposal." He says. "But I'm pretty sure Susan and Ma had been talking and that's why she gave me the ring."

I smile at him more and we start kissing. He guides me backwards to the exam room chair and he lifts me up onto it.

We were dressing when the door burst open. Callie was standing there looking at us. I wasn't embarrassed or guilty because of our engagement. Derek fixed his pants.

"The nurse told me to come and find you. You have to come now it's Izzie." She says.

I look at Derek and we run down to Denny's room.

"I didn't know whether to go to the chief." Olivia said.

"Where is she?" Cristina asks.

"She's in there, with him."

We all moved into Denny's room and saw Izzie curled up crying, beside a Denny who was looking blue.

"I think it was a stroke. He was prone to blood clots. A clot could have formed on his sutures travelled to his brain. It only takes a second."

"Iz." I say.

"Dr Hahn did a beautiful job on the surgery. But I don't know why I didn't think of blood clots. He died all alone. He was alone."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"I changed my dress three times." She said. "I wanted to look nice. I would have been here sooner but I couldn't think of which dress to wear."

"Izzie." George says getting closer to her. "We shouldn't be in here."

"Iz there are things they need to… They need to move him." I say.

"Take him to the morgue."

"You can't sat here. I know you want to."

"Can you please just get out?" She says. "I want to be alone with Denny."

"Izzie that's not Denny." I hear as Alex moves into the room.

"Shut up."

"Iz, that's not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating he stopped being Denny. Now I know you love him but he also loved you. A guy who loves you like that doesn't want you to do this to yourself. Because it's not Denny. Not anymore." Alex says.

"An hour ago he was proposing. And now… Now his going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous. Isn't that the most ridiculous piece of crap you ever heard?" She says crying. Alex lent down and picked her up and sat down with her.

It broke my heart seeing this unfold. I felt Derek get closer to my body and grasp onto my left hand. I felt my eyes well up and I turned around to him and he pulled me into his arms.

We stayed with them for 10 minutes and we all decided to leave. All together we headed to the foyer with our heads down.

"It was me. I cut his LVAD wire and no one helped me." She confesses to the Chief. "And now… I thought I was a surgeon… I can't. I thought I was a surgeon but I'm not. So I quit." She says turning and leaving.

"Izzie." Dr Bailey says.

The boys leave following Izzie and Richard and Bailey leave the other direction. Derek comes up beside me.

"Let's go home." He says.

He has to drag me from the hospital because everything was so weird.

When we arrived home Alex and George were in the kitchen.

"She is upstairs." George tells me.

I nod my head and place her gear on the table with my left hand.

"Wow what is that. That is dangerous."

"Oh Derek and I are engaged." I say showing off the engagement ring.

They just look at me.

"Yeah I know bad timing. I didn't mean for that to happen." Derek says. "We will keep it quiet for a few days I suppose."

…

Derek woke to the laughing of one of his kids. He opened his eyes and saw that now all 4 sisters and his mother were accompanying the room.

"Oh you're finally up Derek." Nancy says.

"When did you all get here?"

"About 3 hours ago."

"You didn't have to come."

"Yes we did. If our brother is in an accident along with our sister in law and our nieces and nephew of course we have to come out and see you." Kathleen says.

Derek got up from the chair and greeted all of his sisters.

"Where are you husbands and kids?"

"At home."

He just nodded his head. He said good morning to the kids and he realised that Angus was back in the room. He went by his side and kissed him.

"How are you feeling buddy?"

"Good dad."

"That's good."

"Derek we will go down to the cafeteria and give you some time with the kids." Becca says.

His four sisters leave the room and his mum stays.

"Derek I'll stay with the kids. Go and see Meredith."

"What did something happen?"

"Just go and see her."

Derek left the room and went to the ICU. Owen came to his side.

"There you are Derek. You have very chatty sisters."

"I know."

"Anyway I came by earlier but you were asleep. I just wanted to update you about last night. We took her down for another scan and the brain is slowly healing itself."

"Can I look at the scans?"

"Sure Derek."

They walked into her room and he showed him the scans. Derek studied them closely and carefully. He could see that the swelling had gone down. It was only a tiny bit. It wasn't a lot but that little bit raised the chances of her waking up. He placed the scans down.

"They are getting better. Her brain is healing."

"Yes it is. It may still be a few days but it will happen." Owen tells him.

"That's good. I'm just going to sit with her."

"Sure Derek."

He sat by her bedside and held her hand.

"Your brain is healing. It's good. Really good."

…

_9 years before the crash_

I woke but not to Derek waking me but to a slight headache. The night before, Cristina, Izzie, Lexie, and Callie took me out for my bachelorette party and imposed that I knock back a round of shots every time I asked someone if they would kiss me before I became a taken lady. I had a silly sign around my neck stating a buck for a kiss. I was surprised at how many men had given me more than a dollar to kiss me. They would pay 4 or 5 dollars for a kiss. By the end of the night I had over a hundred dollars. Some of the men just tipped me for no reason and told me it could go towards the honeymoon. By the end of the night I could hardly stand and they had to carry me home.

Derek had gone out with George, Alex and Mark as he was back in town. He also had his brothers in law come out for the bachelor party where all they did was drank. Mark was insistent on a night on the town and pretty lap dances but Derek protested. I still knew he would do that but I didn't feel guilty for that because I had other men kissing me.

I got up and headed down the stairs. I could hear the talking from the kitchen and as I entered I saw Izzie, Lexie, Molly, Carolyn, Callie and Susan. Cristina was as drunk as me and passed out in my bed.

"Morning Meredith. How's the hangover?" Carolyn asks handing me a glass of water and some aspirin.

"Um good but I can barely remember what happened. I think I remember about 2 hours of last night. Then the rest is a blur."

"Well Lexie and Callie were telling me that you had had a lot of shots, mainly Cristina's idea and the buck for a kiss game was a shot each time you were kissed but they cut that back to 5 kisses and then you knocked back a shot. And that you also made over a hundred bucks."

"Yeah that sounds about right."

"I will tell you that the last kiss you got this person paid you 50 bucks for a good kiss or make out and that person happens to be the one you get to kiss by this afternoon.

"Derek paid me 50 bucks for a kiss. He could have given me a buck for a fu…."

"Hey we don't need to know that." Susan says.

And everyone laughs.

"I will tell you some more later." Izzie says whispering into my ear.

"Okay."

"So we have 6 hours until you have to be down the aisle. So we are going to get your hair and makeup done in 2 hours. Then we come back have some pre photos then we head to the church and you and Derek are getting married." Carolyn says. "So breakfast is served. Have a nice breakfast and then go and get in the shower."

I eat breakfast and then Izzie and I head upstairs. I walked into my bedroom and she followed me.

"So what did Derek do?" I asks Izzie.

"Well that 50 bucks did go towards the you know what."

"Seriously. Where exactly?"

"Well you almost got it on with him on the middle on the bar floor but he picked you up and brought took you to his car."

"I must have been drunk."

"Yes you really were and blame that on Cristina."

"I will."

I showered and we had gotten Cristina up and we headed to the salon to get our hair and makeup done. I was getting ready. The smile on my face grew a little bit bigger as time passed.

I was then standing in front of those doors at the church. The bridesmaids and the flower girls had gone down and now it was my turn.

"You ready Mer?" Dad asked me.

I smiled at him. "Yes."

"Let me say that you look gorgeous."

My dress was as simple as you could get. It was just a white dress. It was a little poufy from the help of the petticoat. It was strapless with a sweetheart neckline. I wanted simple and this was simple for me.

Dad linked arms with me and the doors opened for us. We walked down the aisle and the only person I looked at was Derek. His smile covered his face and I smiled back at him.

Dad gave me away and parted with a kiss on my cheek. Lilly, one of my flower girls' took my bouquet and I soon held hands with Derek.

"We are gathered here today for the celebration of Derek Christopher Shepherd to Meredith Elizabeth Grey. There is no reason why I can't see these two being married…." Was all I heard until I sort of blocked him out. I could still here him but all I was focussed on was Derek.

"Derek would you like to go first?"

"Meredith we always said that one day we would be here and look we finally are. 15 years ago you came into my life and you were the kid that moved in with next door. My life changed that day and from then on I was determined that you would become more then my best friend. You did finally. We had our faults but we ended up back in each other's arms and our mothers kept that a secret from us. They wanted us to be surprised when we met each other last year and of course we were surprised but that surprise has gotten us here and I wouldn't want to spend it any other way." He tells me placing the ring on my finger.

"Meredith."

"Derek I had written vows out but all I can think about is that I love you. That's all I can think of. Trust me to forget what I had written but I'm speaking from my heart. I love you. For 4 years all we talked about was our future. We talked about everything because I could tell you everything. We were each other's everything and that is all that mattered. Was that we were together. We had that setback for 4 years but then we were with each other again and I wouldn't want to spend any other day without you. I want to grow old with you and see our kids and our grandkids grow up. I want to build the house on the land overlooking the best view in Seattle. I want a future and this step right here has gotten us closer to finishing our future. One step at a time. I'll be right behind you. I love you so much." I place the ring on his finger.

"So in the power vested in me I now declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Derek smiles and leans in to me kissing me. We pull away and look at each other.

"Married." He says.

"Married." I say.

I reach down to Lilly grabbing my bouquet. Derek links arms with me and we head back down the aisle. That next step to our future.

That next week we went on our honeymoon to Fiji.

December that year I look at the positive pregnancy test and as soon as I see what it reads I run to tell Derek. He was in the middle of a surgery. I blurted it out to everyone. I didn't want to but I had to. Everyone clapped their hands and the smiles and the thanks came our way. Our future was getting started.

…

"Derek." He hears and turns to see Becca walking into the room. "I hear that her brain is healing. Does that mean she will be awake in the next few weeks?"

"Hopefully. I really hope she wakes in the next few weeks because she is missing our future."

**What'd you think? Let me know. **

**Next chapter is mainly a flashback. There's a little mention at what is happening, 10 days later. It is in contrast to the flashback; **_**Patrick. **_**So I will update as soon as possible because I want to share what happens with Patrick.**

**Please read and review. **


	9. How Can This Be Real?

**Here is the chapter where you find out about Patrick. The flashback is in Meredith's point of view. **

**So hopefully you enjoy it.**

_8 years before the crash_

The alarm clock sounded in their bedroom. Derek's hand was on Meredith's belly. He started drawing circles on her stomach and her eyes soon opened.

"Morning." She mumbles. "What time is it?"

"Just after 5.15."

"Okay. I have to be in at work by 6."

"Me too."

"But I don't want to get up. I want to stay here in the warm cosiness. Our cocoon. Our warm, peaceful, uninterrupted cocoon."

"You do realise in a months' time we won't have this cocoon of peacefulness and no interruptions. There will be a crying baby up all night."

"But it will be our baby. It is allowed to interrupt and not be peaceful. It is half of you and half of me. It will be ours. Our baby. The thing that we will love and shower in love and attention and have running around our house and when it wakes us up in the morning with a kiss and their cold noses. Those moments when they start talking, walking and growing up. It's our baby. Even if it ruins my vagina and our sex life it is still our baby."

"Your vagina?" He says laughing. "Our sex life yeah it might disappear for a while but I will still love you and our vagina ruining baby."

Meredith giggled at him. "Our vagina ruining baby. Oh if I am in labour with this baby for 48 hours we can always use it against the baby whenever he yells at us."

"Oh that is an amazing idea, and then we can tell him about our ruined sex life."

"I don't think I would want to guilt the baby about that."

"Your right about that." He says kissing her. "We better get going."

The two of them dressed and ate before leaving home.

"Rounds started 10 seconds ago. I don't care about your personal problems you need to leave your personal problems outside those front doors and focus on other people's problems." Meredith says to her interns. "Because it seems that all your personal problems have been affecting you practicing medicine. Move now."

The interns rushed out of the locker room and Meredith out. They followed Meredith and Cristina.

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina asks.

"Oh my interns' personal problems are getting in the way and they assume that they matter more than being doctors and I have a grumpy dementia patient as well today."

"So your baby isn't making you angry?"

"My baby is making me feel amazing but I am really tired and moody."

"Well you are 8 months pregnant. You should be on maternity leave at this very moment."

"Well it is my second last day I am on maternity leave as of Saturday then I can rest up and get ready for my baby. Your godchild."

"Yes my godchild."

"Anyway I have to go tend to my dementia patient."

"Mer you do realise that you can pass the patient over to someone else if he is a hassle."

"No because then I am not being an unreasonable doctor."

"But isn't being an unreasonable doctor better for your health then your reputation."

"I suppose but it will be fine. It will be fine." She says. "Let's go." Meredith says leading them away.

"Dr Grey you talked before about personal problems and leaving them at the door."

"My personal problems can't be left at the door. My personal problem has been growing inside me for 8 months now. My husband works here. So my personal problems trump all of yours. My personal problems aren't problems. It is my future and my life." They just stood there. "Do you understand me?" They nodded their heads. "Good now let's proceed."

"Dr Grey aren't we rounding on Mr Jeffery's in 1209?"

"We will round on him last."

Rounding on all of her patients they then proceeded into Mr Jeffery's room. Meredith came and checked over his bandages.

"Dr Seamus present."

"Ian Jeffery, 68, suffering from dementia came in 2 days ago with gall stones in his bladder. Post up after surgery yesterday and he is presenting well."

"Mr Jeffery's is there any pain?" Meredith asks as she leans up against the table recording the observations.

"What are you talking about? I came in for my tumour removal. I don't have any gall stones I need to have the tumour removed from my liver."

"Sir we have removed your tumours."

"No you haven't. There is pain in my abdomen. You need to take me to surgery to remove my tumour."

"Sir we took you yesterday. Don't you remember?"

"No because you haven't operated on my yet. Get me a senior doctor. I want a senior doctor."

"Sir you need to keep your voice down. There are sick people in this hospital who are recovering from serious surgeries."

"I do have a serious injury. I have a tumour."

"Sir you had a tumour removal 15 years ago."

"I did not. I came into the ER because I felt sick and you found a tumour. You have to operate on me now."

"Sir we already have."

"I don't believe you."

"Sir you already have." She says looking down at her paper work.

At that point in time the patient gotten out of bed and ran towards Meredith.

"Dr Grey." Her intern said causing her to look up at what was happening.

The patient had knocked Meredith into the trolley behind her tipping it over. She bit her lip hard and could taste blood. In front of her the interns started to restrain him and got him back to bed putting him in restraints. Meredith's back was over the trolley and was starting to hurt.

"Dr Grey, are you okay?"

She didn't answer.

"Dr Grey."

"Just give me a second." She tells them. "Okay can you help me up please?"

All four of her interns helped her up and brought her out of the room to some chairs outside.

"Mer what happened?" Alex asks.

"My patient attacked me."

"He what?"

"He has dementia. He accused me of lying about this surgery he had 15 years ago."

"Do you want me to get Derek?"

"Not just yet but he most likely knows so he will be here soon. I just need a moment."

"Okay. Do you want some water?"

"Yes please."

"I have it from here."

Alex soon came and sat beside her. Soon Cristina, George and Izzie were at her side.

"Mer is anything hurting?"

"My back is but I can't tell if that is from the pregnancy and the back pain that usually comes with it or if it is from my back crashing into a trolley full of medical supplies."

"Has Derek been by yet?"

"No but it has only been 10 minutes and I didn't want to page him because he is in surgery."

"So while we wait do you want to get an ultrasound to see how your baby is doing?" Izzie asks.

"Sure."

The five of them head to an exam room and had her up on a table lying down.

"Okay you know the drill. Shirt up and it's going to be cold, remember." Alex says.

"I have had about 20 of these and done 20 of these it is easy to remember."

Alex squirted the gel on her belly and put the wand on searching for her baby.

"Oh here it is. McBaby. It is doing fine. Strong heartbeat."

"Well I can feel it kicking like usual. So I knew he was fine."

"Well it was protocol. I need the best for my godchild."

"Meredith I knew you should have swapped with someone else. Like Alex or someone. He is a dangerous patient and he has a record."

"Yes I know but yesterday he was fine. He remembered everything then this morning he went back to 15 years and was complaining about a tumour that he needed removed."

"I suppose but it was you and your interns. Those babies don't know what to do. They wouldn't know what to say or how to react."

"I am a resident though. I am the one who teaches them how to become doctors." She says sitting up and wiping the gel from her stomach. "We need them in these types of situations so they know what to do."

"But you hurting yourself isn't how they should learn."

"Yeah I suppose. Can one of you please check my back?"

Cristina pulled her scrub shirt up and examined her back.

"Ouch girl."

"What?"

"Your back is bruising. You're going to have a nice bruise on your back."

"Yeah so back pain is going to be worst now. Just what I wanted."

"Dr Shepherd, Meredith goes on maternity leave on Saturday. How's the whole baby preparation going?" The chief asks Derek in surgery.

"Well we have the nursery complete and have had it complete for about a month now. We have everything from the cot to the pram, to the car seat and to the clothes the baby will need for the first month or so."

"Do you know what you are having?"

"No we wanted it to be a surprise. So we have gone for the unisex nursery and clothing. I suppose we can pass it down if we have any other kids."

"And I'm sure you will." He says smiling. "Does Meredith have her hospital bag ready?"

"Yeah we have it in the car along with the car seat. We are ready just in case we have an early arrival."

"Well Meredith's pregnancy has been healthy throughout the whole time so she should carry the baby to term."

"I hope she does but she is in healthy range to deliver from 36 weeks on."

"Dr Webber."

"Yes Dr Bailey."

"We have had an incident with one of the residents and one of the patients."

"Exactly what I need. Okay Dr Bailey scrub in and take over for me."

"Um Dr Shepherd I think should scrub out as well because I have another resident coming to scrub in."

"Is the resident my wife?"

"I advise you to scrub out."

Derek left the OR scrubbing out and running down to one of the stations.

"Dr Grey is she around anywhere?"

"Um her and a few of the other residents headed into one of the exam rooms."

He didn't stop to say anything and headed down to the exam room. He saw the figures of her closest friends and he opened the door.

"Meredith what happened?"

"Um my dementia patient attacked me."

"Are you okay? What about the baby?"

"I am fine baby is strong. I just have a bruised back from falling onto the medical trolley."

"We can cancel the baby shower tonight if you don't feel up to it."

"Derek your mother and your sisters are coming out and are already out here. We aren't cancelling."

"Okay well Richard is on his way down to assess what has happened."

"Yes I knew that would happen."

They spent the afternoon talking to the Chief and Meredith was fussed over making sure everything is okay with her and the baby. The Chief gave her an early maternity leave so she left work early to go get ready for the baby shower.

She needed to relax so she ran a bath and started to soak in the bath.

"You and me are off work now. So it is resting and all the daytime television we can handle before you make it into the world. It will be you me and your daddy who is very excited to meet you. So am I."

She keeps her hands on her stomach and heard the door to her bedroom close and the bathroom door open. Izzie came and sat down on the toilet seat.

"You need a hand out of the bath?"

"Yeah I do." She says.

Izzie helps her out of the bath and Meredith wraps a towel around her.

"You aren't supposed to finish until 6."

"Yeah its 4. Derek begged Webber to let me go home to help you get ready and help you."

"And watch me."

"Yeah and that too." She says smiling. "Do you know what you are wearing?"

"Something comfortable. It is like 100 degrees outside. So one of my dresses I think will be good to wear."

"Do you need a hand getting ready?"

"Yes please. I can't even see my feet, my back is in constant pain, I waddle and I'm pretty sure Derek will never have sex with me again."

"Seriously you are a sexy mumma. If Derek doesn't sleep with you then I will. When was the last time you and Derek had sex?"

"Last night."

"See he still thinks you are sexy and beautiful. The way he looks at you I can tell he loves you no matter what. If you were 3 hundred pounds he would love you and still think you are beautiful. So stop thinking that you are not because you are. Being pregnant really suits you."

"Thanks Iz."

"No worries. Now is this the dress you are wearing?"

"Yeah it is."

After they finished getting ready they drove out to her family home where the baby shower was being held. Everyone was there from Derek's sisters, to her sisters and to her friends.

…

10 days after the accident.

"Dr Beale. The baby is showing signs of distress." One of the interns said to the OB.

She examines the paperwork and the looks up at the monitor.

"We have to take her to delivery." She says. "And page Dr Shepherd.

…

_8 years before the crash_

"So we are going to play the toilet paper game. We will hand around a roll of toilet paper and take as many squares as you think is the size of Meredith's belly." I hear Izzie say. I had been here for over 3 hours already.

I sat in the middle of the lounge room as everyone participated in the games. I heard a knock at the door and stood up.

"That would be Derek. I'll get that." I said walking towards the front door. I opened it to see Derek. "Hi."

"Hey, how are you?" He asks kissing me.

"I'm good. Coming to save me are you?"

"I thought you loved this stuff."

"It gets old."

I lead him into the lounge room.

"Okay Meredith we are ready."

One by one they wrapped toilet paper around my belly measuring it. I started feeling a bad pain in my lower belly and I grasped it.

"Mer are you okay?" Izzie asks.

"Yeah I am."

"They're not contractions are they?"

"No, no they aren't."

But I spoke to soon. Another pain ripped through from the bottom of my belly to the top of my belly. Then I felt the hot liquid run down my legs.

"Meredith are you in labour?"

"I think my water just broke." I announce.

"No it didn't. We need to get her to the hospital." Cristina says.

I looked down and saw the blood soaking my dress and then I started to feel dizzy and everything went black.

"_What about Brianna?" I ask in bed one morning._

"_No. Grace?"_

"_Too common."_

"_Penny?"_

"_Are you taking this serious?" Derek asked me._

_I smiled at him. _

"_Okay what about Sophie."_

"_Sophie Shepherd." I say to myself. "It has a nice ring to it."_

"_So this is little Sophie." He says patting my stomach._

"_Maybe not." I says. "It could be Matthew?"_

"_Not a Matthew. What about Samuel?"_

"_No." I say. "Patrick."_

"_Patrick hey. That is cute. Patrick Christopher Shepherd." He says rubbing my tummy._

"_Just think. 6 weeks and Patrick or Sophie could be here in our arms."_

I woke to be surrounded by doctors and the fast past talking of them all. Everything was blurry and I could see the white walls. I was at the hospital. I could then feel the pain. The pain was ripping me apart. Inside out. The pain is agonising.

"Derek?" I said moving the oxygen mask away from my mouth.

"I'm right here." I hear as he comes beside me. His face white as a ghost.

"What's happening?"

"I don't know sweetie."

"Is it the baby?"

"I think so."

"What time is it?"

"Just after 9."

The blur of doctors go by the tiny delivery room and an IV is fed into my arm. A band is then wrapped around my belly and hooked up to a foetal monitor.

"I'm only 36 weeks." I pant.

"We know Mer, but the baby is viable." Derek says and his attention turns to the nurse at the foetal monitor.

"I'm not getting anything on the monitor…." She says.

"Try it again." I hear Derek demand.

"What is happening?" I say grabbing the nurse's sleeve.

"Mer." She says. "We're doing everything we can." She fiddles with the nobs on the monitor and readjusts the band around my belly. "I'm still not getting a heartbeat."

"What?" I struggle to sitting position as Derek holds me.

"Get the ultrasound." My OB snaps entering the room and a moment later one is wheeled in. Gel is squirted on my abdomen as I am twisted by another cramp. The doctor's eyes are trained on the ultrasound monitor. "There's the head." She says calmly. "And there's the heart."

Looking frantically I see the shifting sands of grey and black. I don't want it to be true. I hear the air in Derek's throat catch and he gasps. "What do you see?"

"Mer, I need you to relax for a moment." She says.

So I bite my lip. I listen to the blood pounding in my ears. A minute passes, and then another. There is no sound in the room except for the quiet beeps of machines.

And then Dr Mason says what I've known she'll say all along. "Meredith." She says.

"No please don't." Derek says.

"I'm not seeing a heartbeat." She looks me in the eyes. "I'm afraid your baby is dead."

Derek's arms wrap around me and I can feel the tears running down my face. I bite my lip hard holding the tears back. I didn't want it to be true. I wanted it to go back to this morning from when we were in each other's arms and talking about the baby ruining our sex lives. I wanted to go back to then and not be here at this moment hearing that I have lost my baby.

Everyone moved around me in a crazy daze. Derek was still at my side.

"I'm so sorry Derek." I whisper to him.

"It is not your fault."

"Meredith I'm sorry to say that your placenta has sheared away from the uterine wall. It could have been from the trauma you sustained earlier today." She tells me.

Time passes and I lay there and watch as nurses glide in and out of my room in a somber slow motion compared to the giddy walks that I see during usual labour and delivery. My OB then enters the room before sitting at the edge of my bed.

She checks my cervix quietly." You are 6 centimetres."

She breaks my water and I feel the blood soak the sheets from underneath me.

The anaesthesiologist enters the room with apologetic eyes and apologises before rolling me onto my side and to give me an epidural.

The sensation in my legs disappeared and I look into Derek's eyes just before closing them from the knotted contraction. I look into his eyes again, twisted with tears just like mine. I closed my eyes to rest for what would unfold.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Just after 12 am."

"Okay Meredith you are at 10 centimetres. We are going to get you ready to push." She tells me.

Looking at Derek he nods his head in approval. It was then quiet.

I started to push and after pushing for 5 minutes the baby slipped between my legs like a silverfish.

"It's a boy." She announces.

Derek kisses my forehead and tears escape his eyes. I don't cry. I want to hold my baby.

The nurse wraps him in a blanket and she puts a knitted hat on his head and he is placed in my arms. I looked at his delicate features. His perfect nose, the pouted mouth, his eyebrows had been sketched in. His face looked porcelain. His chest looked as fragile as a bird. His head fitted in the palm of my hand perfectly and his body was bigger than my other palm. He felt as though he weighed nothing.

How could this not be true?

I didn't notice the doctors and nurses leave my room. I didn't even notice Derek had left the room. All I noticed was this perfect lifeless baby boy. Our lifeless baby boy. What I didn't know was that Derek left to find that patient but he was brought back to my room by Richard.

"Meredith I am so sorry." He says with apologetic eyes. "Do we have a name for him?" He asks me.

Derek looks at me puzzled.

"Patrick Christopher Shepherd." I announce.

"That is beautiful. I'll leave you to it."

I pass the baby off to Derek for him to hold.

"How can this be real?" I ask so quietly I'm surprised that he hears me.

He just looks at me and bends down kissing me again. That was his way to say, "I don't know, I don't want this to be true. I want him to be our baby who we take home and raise together. Our sex life, ruining baby."

**What'd you think? Let me know please. I will update as soon as possible. Being on holidays gives me that freedom which I love.**

**Anyway the next chapter is the new baby's arrival, Callie talking with Derek and the flashback is from the moment when Meredith almost slipped away. So I will have this one up as soon as possible.**

**Read and review please!**


	10. In No Time

**Next chapter is up. Hopefully you enjoy.**

"Dr Shepherd." Derek hears as he name is called out.

"Yes."

"Um we are taking your wife to OR 1 for a caesarean. Dr Beale is prepping her. She wanted me to come and get you."

Derek left the room and followed the intern down to the OR. He changed into his scrubs and went and scrubbed in. He sat beside her head.

"Hi Dr Shepherd."

"Dr Beale."

"The baby is 36 weeks Derek. Very good chance of survival. So hopefully no NICU." She says.

"That's good."

"Okay so let's get started." She says. "Scalpel."

…

_8 years before the crash_

Bringing Meredith home 2 days later was hard. When I was wheeling her out of the room and down to the elevator another couple was beside us with their newborn baby in their arms and saying how perfect there baby boy was.

I let them go into the elevator first and we waited for the next one. Meredith had been silent since last night. She hadn't said a word to me. That was when we farewelled him.

We had a last bath, inviting Thatcher, Susan and Ma. We also had Lexie and Molly. My sisters couldn't make it. The godparents were all in the room as well. Mark, Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George. We decided to have them there so they could say goodbye by taking turns washing him. They all started and once they washed him they left the room. Then Meredith and I bathed him and the nurse came in and collected him.

We decided on a cremation for him and his urn would come back in the shape of a baby bootie.

I brought Meredith home and helped her to the lounge. I went to get water for her and came back and she was gone. I headed up stairs to the nursery. We didn't even have the time to pack everything away. Meredith sat in the rocking chair with one of the stuffed animals we were going to give him. She didn't notice me at all standing in the doorway. I watched as she sat there. She sat there for hours and finally fell asleep and that's when I took her to bed.

She complained about her boobs being hard as marble and the pain that it was with even having a shirt over her chest. She told me that the midwife nurse told her that they couldn't do anything about it and that she would have to ride it out. She was in so much pain. I could barely touch her.

Richard had given me time off to look after her but it was only for a couple of weeks and I had to come back to work.

After 8 weeks we had gotten her back into work. That morning she went to visit her mother and I found out that they brought her into the hospital to have tests and she was lucid. I had visited Ellis and talked to the lucid Ellis.

"Dr Grey. How are you doing?"

"Derek. The man who is married to my daughter. How do you do?"

"Good."

"Now Meredith has been really quiet and has she put on any weight?"

"Um didn't Meredith tell you?"

"Is she pregnant?"

"She was pregnant. She gave birth 8 weeks ago, to a stillborn."

Ellis's face dropped. Yes she was cold hearted but this must have hit her hard.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. A boy or a girl?"

"A boy." I say.

"Derek I am truly sorry."

"That's fine. I'm going to go now. Bye Ellis." I said as I was leaving her room.

"Derek. Keep an eye out for her. She may say she is fine but in fact she is not."

Leaving her room I went and hid in the supply closet for almost an hour crying.

When I left from my shift and met with Meredith I could see that she was upset.

"What happened?"

"She said that you ruined my life and I didn't become the extraordinary person I should have become. You made me soft and losing Patrick made me soft. She doesn't think I turned out to be extraordinary. She called me ordinary." Meredith had told me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

I took her home and made her dinner. She barely touched her plate. She went off to bed and I cleared the table.

The next morning I found her underwater in the bathtub. I pulled her up and asked her what was going on. She said that she was taking a bath.

We arrived at work together and went and changed into our scrubs and then went to our triage training.

Halfway through our training we were called out to attend a disaster. Since we were the residents we were chosen to go out with Seattle 35. As the doors opened and we stepped out of the vehicle we saw what we had stepped into.

We all went our separate ways and found patients to treat and declare urgent, non-urgent or dead. Tagging patients and helping to treat with their injuries. Meredith came by and she had a little girl in tow.

"Hi." I said. "Can you place your hand here?" I ask her. "You okay?"

"Yeah just a lot."

"You can go back to the hospital with this one if you want?"

"No. I have to help this little girl find her mum. You okay?"

"Yeah. See you around."

I didn't see Meredith for a few hours. A patient went by with her jacket covering him.

"Who tied off the artery? Dr Grey. Do you know where she is?"

"She must have moved on." The paramedic said.

That's when I found the little girl standing by herself.

"Hi. Do you know where Meredith is? Is Meredith okay?"

She looked at me with those eyes and shook her head.

The shock hit me. It was unbelievable at what was happening. She had gone missing.

"Okay take your time which way did she go?"

She finally found a path and led me to the water's edge.

"Okay use your words. Where is Meredith?"

I saw her hand raise and point out to the water.

I stripped down out of my jacket and jumped into the water. I had to find her.

I had been under the icy water searching for her. I came back down after getting air and found her. Pulling her to the surface and to the ramp. I picked her up and carried her blue body to get help.

Resuscitating her was the most difficult thing ever. I had heating blankets on her to warm her up.

"ENT 5 minutes." I didn't care. Well I did but I was trying to concentrate.

The doors opened.

"Jane Doe."

"She's not Jane Doe. It's Meredith." I said to Dr Bailey.

"Derek how long has she been down for?"

"I don't know."

"Get her inside."

They took her away from me. The resuscitating was taken over and I was sent out of the room in my wet scrubs.

After hours of waiting outside her room. I went to her mother's room after I changed. She wasn't lucid after yesterday. Meredith had gone in and explained why she wanted her to do the treatment and she wasn't lucid anymore.

Her mother woke and looked at me.

"Get me water." Pouring her water I gave it to her and stood there.

"You broke her. She was finally getting somewhere and you broke her." I said to her. "She is an extraordinary woman and you called her ordinary. After everything that has happened." I said yelling at her.

"Derek." I hear and see Izzie standing at the doorway.

After a few more hours I get called to her room. There was bad news though about her mother. It was good news about her. I stood in her doorway and watched her. She finally woke up and looked at me.

"Hey." She says.

"Hey." I say as I move towards her. I had to admit that seeing her alive and well was strange after how blue she was for all those hours. I bend down and kiss her and brush the hair from her eyes.

"There's something I have to tell you." I say.

"My mother's dead. Isn't she?"

"Yes she is?" I say shocked.

"It's okay. Well I think its okay."

"So about these ashes, what are we going to do because them still sitting on our kitchen bench or in our closet is kind of scary."

"I know. How about we take the ashes to the land and we can bury them or spread them down on the water."

"We can bury them and have a little plaque made up and that can be somewhere that we can show our kids or we can visit them when we get sad."

She nodded her head at me.

"You scared me."

"I'm sorry. I just… I'm sorry." She says. "What about the little girl?"

"I don't know what happened to her. I think her mum came and got her."

She nodded her head and a smile was appearing on her face. This was the first time I saw her smile.

"In a few months can we try for another baby? I know it happened so soon but the next one could be born this time next year."

"Just tell me when you're ready and we can try."

…

The cries filled the room. Derek had videoed the caesarean. He wanted it so Meredith could watch the birth of their new baby. He also had one of the nurses taking photos for him.

"It's a boy. Congratulations."

The joy filled him and he kissed Meredith's forehead. "We have a boy Mer."

"Well get him cleaned up for you."

They closed Meredith without any complications which was good because of all the surgery's she had had recently.

"Do we have a name for this one?"

"Um not yet."

"That's okay." She says. "Here is your little boy."

She places the baby into his arms.

"So what is the Apgar?"

"8 and 9. Which is perfect for a baby 4 weeks early. We would have expected him to have some complications because of the amount of stress he has been under but he is fine."

The baby was wrapped in his blanket and was looking and Derek. He knew that he was searching for his mother. He laid the baby down by Meredith's cheek. So the baby's cheek was touching Meredith's. The baby stopped crying and looked across at his mother.

"Derek we are going to take Meredith up to recovery now. The baby we will take to the ward to be checked out and giving the work up. So if you want to follow me."

Derek placed the baby in the bassinet and they wheeled him up to the maternity ward and to the nursery so he could be given the work up. Derek had taken a lot of photos of the baby but he had to admit it was as exciting as the other births; it may have been because Meredith wasn't here. Of course it was exciting, his son had been born but it was different to what they were used to.

The baby had the dark hair covering his head just like the other kids. He looked exactly like Patrick.

"Okay he is perfect, 6 lbs. 9 ounces. 10 fingers, 10 toes. Good set of lungs and healthy sounding heart. There is no reason that he couldn't go home tomorrow." The paediatrician had told Derek.

"So do you think I could take him up to meet his siblings?"

"In a moment. We just need to tag him and write out his name badge. Do we have a name?"

"No. Meredith and I hadn't chosen a name yet. We did have a few ideas but we wanted her to choose because it was her turn."

"Okay baby Shepherd can be it for the moment. We can always change it when you come up with a name." He says. "Okay that's all done. You can take him down to meet his siblings."

Derek had carefully picked his newborn son up and carried him down to the kids' room. The kids were with Lexie watching TV.

"Hey kids, I have someone here who I would like you to meet." Derek says entering the room.

Everyone turns and looks at Derek.

"The baby is born?" Sophie asks.

"Yes, you have a little brother?"

Derek walks closer to them so they can get a better look.

"Oh he is so cute Derek. Congratulations." Lexie says.

"Would Lexie like the first hold of him?"

"Yes I would." She says as she takes the baby into her arms.

"Can I hold him next dad?" Sophie asks.

"How about we let Kendall hold him. She is no longer the youngest."

Derek stayed with the kids for an hour showing them their new baby brother. He decided it was best that he went back to the nursery so he could be fed and have a rest. Derek stood outside the window looking into the nursery as the nurse put him down.

"I heard we have a new Shepherd?" Mark said coming beside Derek.

"Yes we do. He is just getting put to bed by the nurse."

"His gorgeous."

"He looks so much like Patrick. It's crazy."

Mark just looks through the window. "Do you have a name for him yet?"

"Meredith and I did pick out a few names but it was her turn to choose the first name."

"Okay so do you remember what they were?"

"_Derek I like Noah for a boy."_

"_Noah is cute. Do you have any ideas?"_

"_I have a few but I don't want to go past Noah."_

"It was Noah. I remember when we were pregnant with Kendall and we had picked out boys names for her just in case and she liked Noah and when we found out we were pregnant with him she said that she still liked the name Noah."

"Well Noah it is?"

"What if she doesn't like it?"

"Derek trust me she will."

"Okay so Noah it is." Derek says and he smiles some more. "Noah Patrick Shepherd."

"That is beautiful." Mark says. "Have you called your sisters yet and your other extended family?

"Not yet. It happened so quickly. Ma and Amy are in New York and are on their way home tomorrow because the kids are discharged tomorrow. So am I."

"Well I can help you message them at least."

"Thanks Mark." Derek says. "Can you do that for me please. I want to see Meredith."

"Anything for you Derek. I'm here to give you a hand." Mark says patting his back. "Are you going to take Noah?"

"No I'm going to leave him here just for a little while. I need a moment to be with Mer."

"Okay."

Derek left walking towards Meredith's room. She had been in recovery since the caesarean for almost 2 hours and he hadn't seen her yet. He entered her room and came and sat beside her.

"So we have our little boy up in the nursery. 6 pounds 9 ounces. He has his 10 fingers and 10 toes. The paediatrician said he has a healthy set of lungs and his heart is good. Dr Beale had expected there be some complications with him but he is perfect. Nothing is wrong with him. I fed him earlier and just left then and he was asleep. I'll bring down our son in a little while." Derek tells her. "Our boy Noah. Noah Patrick Shepherd. You loved the name and it really suits him. He also looks a lot like Patrick. He is gorgeous Mer. I really wish you would open your eyes so you could see him."

"His looking out for his mum. Those eyes are searching for his mothers and he is waiting for his mother's touch." He tells her. "The kids love him. They think he is adorable. They just are hoping you are awake to see him grow up."

Derek hadn't taken into perspective all the tubes, wires, bandages and scars that covered her body. She was still beautiful to him but he had now seen every flaw he possibly could. Her hair had been shaven for the numerous surgeries and a bandage was covering that. The breathing tube was down her throat and the wire and leads were sticking out for her body going into the numerous machines but she had since lost the foetal monitor so that was one less machine filling her room.

He got up from the chair and the air caught in his throat. He had realised the possibility that Noah could not ever meet his mother. He left the room and ran back down to the tunnels where he had found to be his sanctuary in the past 10 days. That is when the tears started to fall. He had had the worst 10 days and he never wanted to cry in front of anyone to show the weakness so he came down here to let it out.

"Derek. Is that you?" Callie asked as she wandered towards him. "I heard the baby was delivered. What'd she have?"

"A boy. Noah."

"That's beautiful. Why are you down here?"

"I needed to be by myself and not show weakness in front of the kids. I've had the worst 10 days it feels as though it is getting worse."

"Maybe it is maybe it isn't. Meredith is improving. You have a new baby. Your kids are being discharged tomorrow. You are fine. It may seem as though it is really crappy but you don't realise what joy you are going to have once all this is over." She tells him. "I've been through the recovery and it is hard but Meredith's injuries are healing now. When she wakes up she should be fine to do rehab and in no time she will be able to hold her son."

"Thanks Callie."

"No worries." She says smiling. "I still remember when she found out she was pregnant with Sophie. Cristina was off and she ended up calling me instead of Cristina. It was hard to tell if she was freaking out or really overwhelmed and happy that she was crying with joy or with fear."

"Oh it was both. She was scared about losing this one like Patrick."

…

7 years before the accident.

Opening the sleeve the pregnancy test sat in I was starting to feel nervous. I pulled it out and started reading the big fat positive. It had been 8 months since we lost Patrick and the doctor told us to wait a couple of months before we should start trying again. We did and now I was pregnant. I don't know if I was nervous in a good way or if I was fearful that this could end badly. The tears were streaming down my face. I had to tell someone. I took out my phone and started dialling a number, presumably Cristina's.

"Hello Meredith. What's up?" I hear but it's not Cristina's voice.

"Callie hi. I hit the wrong number sorry." I say with a croaky voice and a sniffle.

"Are you okay? You don't seem good."

"I don't know."

"Are you are the hospital?"

"Yeah I am. I'm in the 3rd floor bathroom."

"Okay I'll be there in just a sec." She said hanging up.

I hear the outside door open and hear the footsteps. I open the door and meet Callie.

"What's up girl?" I hand her the positive pregnancy test. "That's great girl."

"But Patrick. I feel as if this will happen again."

"Meredith you have to be positive about this. What happened to Patrick was unfortunate and it happens but this one that you're carrying now I believe that it will be healthy and I can see the kid in 5 years' time waving goodbye to you as he or she goes to school. Meredith you can't cry because that shows me that you don't want another kid and this is something that you are ready for."

"I do want another one I'm just scared that I am hurting them for what is happening. It's like I am deciding if they live or die."

"This one will live. What happened to Patrick is one of those things that happen and what happened the day you lost him you had sustained trauma and patients never really attack you. So I think that right now you should march down to Derek and tell him because it will be something that makes his day."

I had found Derek later on that day and told him. Callie had talked me through it and it made me more comfortable.

With the months going by I was careful with the pregnancy. My OB told me that the stillborn happened before because of the attack and the stress that had happened that day. She told me that a healthy baby should be carried to term this time around and she was right.

Every time I received a case that I felt that it could be risky I would pass it off and go and do something less stressful. That must have helped because on the morning of August 22nd 2009 I delivered a healthy baby girl, Sophie Leah Shepherd after 8 hours of labour. I went for a drug free labour and loved and hated every minute of it because this time round I could everything that had happened to my body.

Sophie was perfect. She had blue eyes and a head of dark hair. Her pout was the same as Patrick's. Derek and I just stared at her for hours and I finally got the chance breastfeeding and it was a moment that I would do over and over again.

She was our perfect baby girl and she would grow up to know her big brother Patrick.

…

Callie had stayed and talked to Derek. The two of them went through everything and they talked about cases and things like that. Callie had received a message asking if she was coming home and the two of them realised that is was late. Callie left to go home to her family and Derek went to see his. He stopped by the kids' room and tucked them in. As soon as they fell asleep he headed to the nursery and went and stopped by Noah's crib. He was up and looking around.

"Hey Noah." Derek said. "It's your daddy." Noah had soon tracked his father and watched him. Derek picked him up and held him. "I thought I would stop by and see you before I went to bed. I didn't expect you to be awake but I guess that you haven't had much contact from me our your mum. Mummy at the moment won't be able to hold you because of the accident that we were in. She was looking forward to this day to meet you Noah but something unfortunate happened so she can't see you."

Noah looked closely at Derek and grasped his hand around Derek's finger. Derek let out a smile and lifted him closer and sniffed his head.

"Mummy will so wake up." He told his newborn son. "She will and I promise in the morning before we are discharged I will take you to see her. You'll be home in no time Noah. In no time."

**What'd you think? Let me know. Noah is finally here. **

**The next chapter I will have up as soon as possible. It will be the bringing of baby Sophie home and the first trip to the farm for her. It is also the day the kids are brought home and the day Noah gets to send time with his mum. **

**So please read and review. **


	11. He Would Keep His Girls Safe

**Sorry about the delay. I have been in Sims mode for the past week and that's all I wanted to do before I go back to school on Monday. So I apologise for the wait. **

**So here is the next chapter. Hopefully you enjoy.**

"Okay Derek the kids are all good to go home." Miranda says signing the discharge papers for them all.

"Thank you Miranda for everything especially the past 10 days."

"It's my pleasure Derek." She says smiling at the kids. "Now let me hold Noah one last time."

Derek passes Noah over to Miranda and he starts dressing the kids. Amy and Carolyn were flying in later tonight so he had the chance to get the kids settled in the house and try and get the routine set up again and finish the nursery off. Noah was being discharged tomorrow night so he had the chance to get the house ready for the new baby and find the car seat and the pram and the basinet and everything else that they had packed away ready for a month's time not now.

But Derek had decided it was best that they stay in the house in town so it was close to town and they could visit Meredith. They had always kept this house and rented it out to Lexie but she soon packed up and moved so they were the owners of the house and made use of it especially if they had a late shift.

Miranda's pager sounded. "That's me." She says lying Noah down in the bassinet.

"He'll still be in the nursery today and tomorrow. So you'll still be able to see him."

"I know. I just wanted another cuddle while he was still out with you." She says. "I'll see you around Derek. Bye kids."

"Bye Mandy." They all say.

Derek finished dressing Kendall and he was ready to take the kids home. He had to buy a new car as well considering theirs was no way driveable. He also had to replace the car seats. They had gotten their stuff back from the car and it was waiting at home already.

"So I will pack these clothes away then we will see mummy. I'll take Noah to the nursery and then we can go home." He tells the kids.

"Daddy when will mummy come home?" Sophie asks.

"Hopefully soon. She still needs to recover. Remember that."

"I will."

He packed the bags and the 5 of them walked down to the elevator to get to the floor Meredith was one. She had been moved to a private room and was no longer in ICU. She still had ICU restrictions and always had someone checking her close to the hour.

"Okay here we are kids." Derek says.

All three kids run over to Meredith's side and climb up onto the bed.

Derek picks Noah up and walks outside the room.

"Hey you going home?" He hears and turns to see Mark coming up behind him.

"Yeah we are. Just getting the kids to say goodbye to Mer then this little one is going back to the nursery and we are heading home and I am getting the nursery finished."

"Well I'm off at 5. I'll come around and give you a hand."

"Thanks." He says.

"Say when the kids are finished I'll take them to get something to eat and you can sit with Mer for a bit and Noah can have some time with his mummy."

"Thanks Mark."

The kids had spent 10 minutes saying goodbye to Meredith and just talking to her. They kissed her goodbye and headed down to the cafeteria with Mark. Derek walked into her room and laid Noah by her face for some skin to skin contact. He kicked his legs and started to suck her face. Derek smiled knowing that Noah knew that this was his mummy and that he missed her.

"Meredith Noah is here to see you. He misses you and hopes you wake up in the next few days so you can come home soon and be his mummy."

Derek held him and sat on her bed.

"The kids and I have been discharged so I am taking them home soon and going to get the nursery finished like you told me to 6 weeks ago and find the car seat and basinet and all the other baby gear we had packed away from the other kids but we did score big from the baby shower with him so I will only need to find some of the baby gear. I also need to go get some onesies for him. I'll ask mum to pick some up for me."

He kisses her forehead. "I better get going. Get him to the nursery and then get going home." He tells her. "I'll come back tonight Mer and be by your side. Hopefully the kids will go down easily and mum can watch them for me. So I'll be back tonight and bring Noah by. I love you Mer."

He holds Noah up to his mum again for a few minutes then grabs Noah and takes him down to the nursery. He finds the kids and they go to the car. He straps them all in and then they head to the house in town.

"Is nanna and Amy coming back tonight?"

"Yes they are. They are going to help us out for a while but Aunty Amy has to go back to work next week so it will be Nanna helping around the house."

"Is that until mummy wakes up?"

"Yes sweetie."

"And are we staying in the house in town because we can be closer to mummy?" Angus asked.

"Yes Angus. So we can see her as often as possible."

He could feel the kids ease up a bit and new that they would be ready to go home.

"Just think kids mummy is at the hospital for a few nights because she has given birth to your new sibling. Well she has but she will be home in a few days."

He helped the kids out and unlocked the front door. The kids ran off the play room and Derek made it his mission to finish the nursery at the other house.

…

_7 years before the crash_

"Okay Meredith we are good to go." Derek says as he walks into my room. I am holding Sophie in my arms and I look up at him and smile. I get up from the chair and go and wrap Sophie in a blanket to help keep her warm from the cool summer air.

I climb into the wheelchair and Derek grabs our bags and wheels me down to the elevator. This time around we got to stand in front of the elevator with our new baby ready for our new life. "Sophie look there's daddy. Can you see daddy?" I know it was no point since she was asleep but I wanted to feel the joy.

Derek drove us home to the house in Seattle and I carried the capsule inside with a sleeping Sophie.

"Leave her in there Mer. If we want to take her out to the land we can just leave her in there and let her sleep." He tells me.

I nod my head. We had decided to take her out to the land since the summer was drawing to an end and it was one of those few cloudless days that we rarely ever got.

"Okay well can I go for a shower and a lay down for an hour?"

"Of course. I'll come and wake you when I have everything ready to go." I smiled at him. He had been great help from the last couple of days since I had Sophie.

He came and woke me 2 hours later and told me everything was packed and ready to go, including Sophie's diaper bag. I carried the capsule to the car and Sophie was still asleep. I carefully buckled the capsule in and went and sat in the front seat and Derek drove towards the land.

When we arrived Sophie had woken so Derek laid out the picnic rug and I sat and started to feed her. She was perfect. Derek prepared our lunch and I started eating while I feed her. Her little hand rested just above my breast and she just lay drinking.

"I would say that this is the best thing in the world." I tell Derek.

"So breastfeeding is good?"

"Yes. Well at the moment it is just a real fatty milk but it's the most nutritious and I don't know it feels good."

"That is good."

After our lunch we showed Sophie around the land and the last we stopped was at Patrick's little memorial.

"Now Sophie this is your big brother Patrick. He should be a year old but Patrick can't be with us. He is in heaven and he will always look out for you. He is your big brother and that's what they do they look out for their little sisters. So when you get older you can come and visit him. That's why we set this up so you and your future siblings can come and see him." Derek had told Sophie. He was now holding her. He turned to me. "Let's go to the trailer and lay down for a while.

He held my hand and held Sophie closely and we headed up to the trailer and the three of us fell asleep.

…

"So tell me why you left the nursery this long?" Mark had asked. The kids were at the house with Lexie and Derek had come over with Mark to finish the nursery.

"Well I thought that we would have plenty of weeks and I had almost 2 months off and I would have done the nursery when we got back because the baby had 6 weeks to go and we didn't expect the accident to happen and you know everything else."

"Well Meredith did tell you to get it done before you went away."

"Yeah well work got in the way. I am head of neuro."

"Yeah well I'm head of plastics. I still managed to get Sofia's room ready in time."

"No you didn't. She was 4 months early and besides Callie and Arizona had that done by themselves."

"Hey I bought the crib."

Derek just laughs at him and Mark smiles back. They only really needed to bring the furniture into the room and finish painting it, Meredith had a new idea for the nursery and she had it half-finished so Derek and Mark finished the painting and the unpacking of furniture and packing clothes and blankets and other bits and pieces away. Yeah it was a long list but they all had everything packed away ready to be taken from boxes they were stored in.

It was just after 7 when Carolyn and Amy arrived. Lexie had gotten the kids fed and Derek and Mark headed home to help. Bringing supplies from the house over.

"Okay kids bath time." Carolyn said to them after they sat talking about their trip to New York for almost an hour.

The kids all headed upstairs and Carolyn followed them.

"I'm going to make myself a bag so I can go straight to the hospital." Derek said to Mark.

"Well I am going to head home now and see Sofia before she goes to bed. I will see you tomorrow for the bringing of Noah home." Mark said patting his back. "I'll see you around."

Mark had left the house and Derek packed his bag then went and sat watching the kids in the bath. After their baths they dressed them and put them to bed.

"Okay they are done for the night. Help yourselves to whatever is in the fridge and don't wait up for me. I'm going to stay the night with her."

"Okay dear." Carolyn said.

"There is nothing in the fridge." Amelia said.

Derek had made a mental note. "Okay I will pick some food up tomorrow. Just help yourselves to whatever."

Derek left the house and got in the car and headed to the hospital so he could sit by Meredith's side.

…

_6 years before the crash_

"Look Sophie, who's that?" I asked Sophie as we pulled into Carolyn's farm.

"Nan." She says.

"Yeah baby."

I got Sophie out of the car and greeted Carolyn and she took Sophie from my arms. Derek came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Here we are."

"It's so beautiful."

"Yeah it is."

Getting settled in Carolyn had put some afternoon tea on for us and we sat out on the veranda eating and talking. Sophie was almost 12 months and hadn't quite yet perfected the walking. She instead crawled everywhere. I had a feeling that she would start to soon though because she loved walking around the furniture and would let go and take two steps before falling.

Sophie was playing with one of her toys on the table. Derek had started to walk up onto the veranda and she turned around and looked at him.

"Come here Soph." He says bending down.

She dropped her toy and started taking the steps towards Derek. Carolyn, Amelia and I stood up and watched as Sophie took her first steps. She walked naturally and carefree to Derek and he swooped her up into his arms and kissed her cheek.

"Oh my god Derek she walked. She walked. She's growing up Derek." I said running over to him. "Look at you Soph." I said to her.

A huge smile plastered her face. She smiled like she was the queen but I didn't care because she was. Derek put her down and she started walking over to Amy and Carolyn. We spent the afternoon getting her walking from one person to the next. She happily did.

A couple of days passed and Sophie had decided that she didn't want mine or Derek's help. So she was determined to walk from place to place without our help.

"Come on Soph let's go for a walk." Derek said to her as he went to pick her up she refused and started walking on her own. She only needed help when we took her down the stairs.

"So where do you want to go?" I asked her.

She just led us around the farm. Derek and I walked hand in hand following her. She then headed over to the chook pen and walked inside. Amy had shown her how the ducks and chooks lay eggs and how you come and collect them. She had also shown her how to give them food. So Derek and I watched as she went and grabbed some of the scraps and walked into the chook pen but she didn't drop it.

"You have to drop it Soph." I call out to her.

She just stands there and all the ducks and chickens gathered around her. One of the ducks then jumped up onto her and she fell backwards. Derek ran from my side to pick her up and she started crying. I followed Derek and came to his side.

"You have to give them the food." Derek had told her wiping the tears from her face.

"You will know for next time." I tell her kissing her cheek. "Do you want to walk?"

She nodded her head. "Dadda."

"Okay then." He said.

"Looks as though she still does need her mummy and daddy to keep her safe." I said to him.

We continued our walk around the farm like we had for the past few days. It was something that made our day finish in a nice way. Derek held Sophie and my hand and let me feel as though he would be there to keep his girls safe.

…

Derek arrived at the hospital. It was after hours for visitors but Richard had let him come in and stay with her whenever he wanted to. He quickly ducked up to the nursery and visited Noah. He took him from his bassinet and then went and sat in a rocking chair in the corner of the room rocking Noah.

"So we have your nursery completed. So tomorrow night you are ready to come home with me and we will start our lives at home. Sophie and Angus are excited about a new sibling. Kendall is only 17 months old so she quite doesn't understand the concept so she will have to get used to having you around. She will love you though."

A nurse then came into the room.

"Dr Shepherd. How are we going?"

"We are going well. How has this little one been all afternoon?"

"Noah was perfect. He just slept for most of the afternoon. He should be ready for his feed. That's why I came in here but if you want to feed him then here is his bottle."

"Thanks." Derek said taking the bottle and started feeding him. "Will I be able to have Noah stay in his mum's room with me tonight?"

"Of course Dr Shepherd. It will give him the feeling of his mum." She says. She comes and sits over beside Derek. "There is a lot of things we don't know about the human body but I have read cases where the mother has been in a coma and she has not had the baby yet or she has and bonding like skin to skin contact and just feeling their baby's body somehow helps them recover and recognise what they need to do like wake up."

"Yeah I have read studies like that. It happened to one of my patients she was a new mother and had been riding her bike and was hit by a car and ran over. She was in a coma for a few weeks and every day the father brought the baby in and had the baby lie on his mother's chest or lick or suck her face and the mother's brain heeled and sooner than later she had woken up and asked for the baby."

"The human body is so amazing but there is only so little we know about it. It's incredible I just wish we knew why these things happen."

Derek smiled at her. "Me too. We as scientist always manage get things wrong that's why you have to keep on your toes and keep up with research and things like that because science and medicine changes every second of every day. That's part of the reason why I became a doctor."

She smiled at him. "Medicine is amazing. Babies though are more amazing. The way they can get mother's to wake up after being in a coma for weeks or how they respond significantly to skin to skin contact. They are just amazing creatures that fascinate me."

"Yes they are but sometimes things happen like them dying for unknown reasons also aren't as amazing."

"Well Dr Shepherd that's life. I know you went through it but things like that help us discover why they happen and help us prevent it in the future. Your son Patrick was beautiful but now you have Noah and 3 other kids who are beautiful and you should think about that and think about taking Noah down to his mother so he can bond with her." She says.

Derek nodded his head. Noah had finished his bottle and Derek was burping him. When he finished burping Noah he stood and laid him down in the bassinet.

"I'll bring him back in the morning."

"Okay Dr Shepherd."

Derek wheeled his son down to his mother. In the room a cot had been set up for him. He went over to Meredith and kissed her forehead. He grabbed Noah out and laid him down across his mum's chest so he could listen to her heart and feel safe. Noah did look as though he was safe. Derek pulled Meredith's arm up so her arm could support Noah and hold him closer to her body.

Yes there was a lot that doctors didn't know about the human body and the response to kids but he was determined this could work but he also just wanted his son to feel his mother.

After a while of skin to skin contact Noah had finally fallen asleep and Derek laid him down in the bassinet and tucked him in. He covered Meredith up and sat by her side.

"I love you Mer and I want you to open your eyes. All I need you to do is open your eyes and see what has changed and be a mother to Noah. He will need his mummy because let's face it you have that special touch that soothes the kids the best and you are just the best mother in the world. You need to open your eyes so you can see how beautiful the world has become."

**What'd you think? Let me know. **

**Next chapter is the bringing of Noah home. The birth of Angus and the family trip to the farm and it is also the birth of Kendall. It is mainly a flashback chapter but it's good. **

**I will try and update by no later than Tuesday.**

**Read and review. **


	12. Our Highway Baby

**So next chapter is up. Hopefully you enjoy.**

_10 months after the trip to the farm, 5 years before the accident._

Waking that morning we were finally moving out to the house on the land. We had broken ground in a celebration of our fellowships and that was a year ago. Sophie was now 21 months and loved going out to the land with her daddy to see how the house was coming along.

I woke to a cold nose pressed against mine and opened my eyes to see Sophie smiling at me. She was more excited to move then we were. I had her sleep in the bed with me last night because we had broken her cot down yesterday but we had also broken our bed down so it was just a mattress on the floor.

"Hey baby girl." I said to her lifting her into my arms and snuggling her.

"Where's dadda?"

"Dadda is at work."

"The new house?"

"Oh we are going to start packing the truck this morning when it arrives. We have everything ready to go in the truck." I tell her.

The truck had been by a few times this week and taken away a lot of the heavy furniture like the lounges, beds, dressers, tables, chairs and the boxes we had packed and didn't need. The only things left in the house were the boxes of clothes, kitchen utensils, some of Sophie's toys, the nursery furniture and the things that had lingered in our attic.

She smiles at me.

"Baby?" She asks looking at my tummy.

"No there is no baby in there sweetie." I tell her. "How about we get some breakfast and then we can be ready to go when the truck gets here."

She nodded her head with a huge smile. A nauseous feeling washed over me.

"Come mumma."

"I'll meet you downstairs. I tell her."

This feeling had come to me for the past 2 days. I just thought it was of stress because we were almost attending's Derek and I, we were parents and moving house so I just thought it was stress because we had been at the new house a lot preparing for the big move.

Sophie had disappeared downstairs and I sat there just waiting for the feeling to pass.

A few hours later we had the truck packed with everything and our house was now bare. Derek had come home and helped with packing the truck.

We stood in the hallway just reminiscing on all those memories we had had in the past 6 years. I turned to him and kissed him.

"Let's go home." I tell him.

He smiles at me. "Sophie."

Sophie toddles out with her teddy bear and runs to Derek. He picks her up and we walk out of our house one last time, locking the door.

We settled in well over the next week and everything had found a home but there was a lot of empty spaces which really annoyed me. I had complained to Derek about it a lot of the time and he said that there was space for more kids and for family when they came.

The Chief had given us a few days off work so we could settle into the house and we did straight away. Sophie had loved us taking her for a walk along the trail and down to the water every afternoon but today both of us didn't take her. Only I did. Derek had a later surgery and I was home just before 5. I was in the best mood and I couldn't wait until Derek got home because I had news to tell him.

Sophie and I walked the track and came home having dinner, bathing her and reading her a story before she went to sleep.

We had decided to wean her away from the cot and she happily slept in her first bed for the first night for the whole night. We were both shocked that she went straight to a bed from her cot but she had always slept in our bed and in a bed with her cousins so she was used to it.

I was in bed when Derek gracefully walked through the door of the bedroom. He changed into his pyjamas and came and joined me.

"So I was thinking about how I complained a lot about the extra space we have and I thought…"

"That we could try for a baby again?"

"Well we actually don't have to try. I am already pregnant."

"You are." He says with his smile widening.

"Yeah I only found out this morning and Cristina ran a blood test for me so I could confirm it."

"So when are you due?"

"We figured out early December."

"A December baby. That brings a smile to my face." He says smiling at me.

"Me too."

We had stayed up early into the morning talking about baby names and how we would decorate the nursery. We had a bunch of ideas already and I was only 10 weeks pregnant.

30 weeks went by. Sophie had turned 2 and Derek and I had become attending surgeons at Seattle Grace. Derek followed the neurosurgery path and I took the general surgery path. I was interested in neurosurgery but Derek was going to become an awesome neurosurgeon and would be up with the legends. I chose general surgery because I in a way wanted to follow in my mother's footsteps and become the best in general surgery but I also wanted to be a mother as well. So a fellowship was two years but I was already one of the best general surgeons in my class and Richard had convinced me to do this.

30 weeks went by and we had painted a nursery and assembled furniture and bought new furniture. We also picked out names for a girl and a boy and we took the classes. 30 weeks went by and Sophie was pleased that she was going to become a big sister.

On the last day of November the air was cool and the weatherman had predicted snow. The snow hadn't fallen for 15 years in Seattle so I had hopped for it to snow. Our baby was due in a few days and the doctor had told me to be prepared because the baby was ready.

That night I had gone to bed after putting Sophie to bed. Derek would be home in a few minutes so I decided to get into bed. Being 40 weeks pregnant took it out of me and chasing after a 2 year old was tiring. While I waited for Derek I received a message from him telling me that he would be an hour later. So I decided to go to sleep. It was only 9 o'clock.

2 hours later I woke and Derek still wasn't home but that wasn't the problem I woke to a ripping pain from the top of my belly to the bottom of my belly. I sat up in bed and grasped my belly. _It was time. _The contraction passed and I got up out of bed I tried to call Derek put it went to voicemail. So I messaged him to call me back ASAP because it was important. I started to change my clothes and pack the last things into my hospital bag when another contraction came. They were 11 minutes apart at this moment. So we had time.

I called my OB and let her know that I was having contractions and she told me to sit tight and wait for Derek because I was in no position to drive.

I started to pack a bag for Sophie so she could be dropped off at Lexie and Mark's. I called them to let them know I was in labour and Sophie should be by soon. I had also asked if they had heard from Derek and they told me they hadn't. I told them that he wasn't here and that's when I heard the keys and the slamming of a door. Lexie told me Mark was on his way.

I prepared myself with a jacket and my shoes and went and placed my gear by the door. I grabbed the food for Sophie's bag and placed it by the door.

It was 11 when I heard the front door and Mark run inside.

"Okay how are your contractions?" He asked me.

"They are good. 8 minutes apart."

"Okay well I think we should get you to the hospital because I don't want to deliver a baby."

"Okay then." I told him. Another contraction came and I grasped onto Mark's hand and he stayed by my side.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Let's get going because I don't want to have my baby here."

He helped me up off the lounge.

"Can you take these to the car? If you're taking your car then can you put Sophie's car seat in it?"

"I have Sofia's in there so it's fine."

"Okay I'll grab Sophie." I told him walking up the stairs. "Hey Soph it's time to get up. You have to go to Aunt Lexie's."

She woke and had that confused looked on her face. I picked her up and carried her down to the car. Mark took her from me and placed her in the car and I sat down.

Driving into Seattle the rain had stopped and that was a good sign for snow. Lexie greeted us at the door and took Sophie and her bags and Mark drove me to the hospital. He admitted me and the nurse took me up to a delivery room. Mark went to search for Derek and found him asleep in his office.

"Derek what are you doing. We have been calling you for hours."

"Oh I left my phone in the locker room."

"Well it's no use there. Your wife is in labour."

I saw the door open and Derek was soon at my side.

"I can't believe I almost missed this."

It was after 2 when I delivered a baby boy. When Angus Bradley Shepherd was placed in my arms I took a glance out the window and saw snow falling.

"Look Derek."

He looked out the window at the snow and kissed me.

"He has broken the drought." He told me.

I looked at our baby boy and he looked at me. I stuck my fingers near his mouth and he sucked on them.

"His perfect Derek."

It was later that day when I was having a rest. We had had everyone come and visit us and I was exhausted. I could hear Derek by the window talking to Derek. It hadn't stopped snowing since Angus was delivered.

"You broke the drought my little boy. It hasn't snowed here for almost 15 years. It is something beautiful the snow. I remember the last time it snowed. Your mummy and I were in high school, our last year of high school and we had a school dance and it snowed and it made the night magical and beautiful and that was the last snowfall. Some parents don't notice the things that go on outside after you deliver their kids but we noticed the snow because it is beautiful."

I smiled and remembered that day it snowed. It was a great night but it was the last day it snowed so it was upsetting.

We finally brought Angus home and the snow had stopped for a few days but there was a blanket of white snow at the house. We rugged Sophie up as best we could and Angus and we went outside and built a family of snowmen. A dad, a mum, a daughter and a baby. Representing our family.

…

"Dr Shepherd we will take Noah back to the nursery for his feed."

"No its fine. I'll feed him here."

"Okay I'll bring by a bottle for you."

Noah had slept the whole night. For 10 hours straight and was now awake. He didn't cry though. He just lay there waiting for someone to come and see him awake. Derek cradled him in his arms and a nurse came by with a bottle and Derek fed him.

"You're coming home tonight Noah. To your new room and to your new siblings."

…

_4 years before the accident._

"Okay kiddies were here." Derek announced to the kids a year later.

Angus was now one and Sophie was 3. They were spending Christmas at the farm with the rest of the family.

Derek took Sophie out from her seat and she ran up to the front door. I carried Angus to the door and to greet our family. Angus was still the youngest and everyone always wanted to hold the youngest and spoil him the most but as soon as they entered through the front door and he found one of his cousins playing with a train he went straight over and started playing with him.

"Yeah cars or trains trump kisses." Derek says to everyone.

Sophie had been eager to ride the pony and Carolyn had promised her that she could.

"Mummy can I ride Chestnut?"

"Well you would have to ask Nanna."

She went off and Derek and I went and caught up with our family. Sophie soon came back and told me that nanna said that she could. So we changed Sophie and all the girls had headed out to the round yard where the pony was. All the girl cousins always loved riding the pony and the horses and Carolyn had waiting until they were over 2 years to ride the pony and at least 5 to ride the bigger horse. The male cousins loved the horses but they preferred to ride the tractors or play in the dirt.

Everyone gathered as Amelia helped her up onto the horse and she clipped the lead rope to the pony's reins and she lead the pony around in a circle.

"Go Sophie." Derek called out.

She rode the pony so naturally and like she was made to ride horses.

"Looks like you will be buying her a pony." Nancy had said to Derek.

"Anything for my little girl." Derek replied to her.

After she finished riding she got off and one of the other kids hopped on and she came over to me and I picked her up.

"How'd you like that?"

"It was good." She said. "Can I get a horse?"

"Maybe when you're a little older sweetie." Derek had told her.

She seemed as she didn't mind and we stood watching my nieces and nephews ride the pony.

…

"Okay he is all good to go." The nurse had told Derek.

He had strapped him in the capsule and threw the baby bag over his back and picked the capsule up off the table.

"Thank you for looking after us."

"No worries Derek." She said. "Now we will see you around little boy."

Noah was asleep and ready to go home. He left the nursery and stopped by Meredith's room and said goodbye to her before he headed home.

He had to stop at the store to pick up some groceries and some nappies and formula for Noah. Meredith had hoped to breastfeed him but she couldn't. So he was bottle fed. Derek walked the numerous aisles with Noah in his capsule asleep and collected the groceries that they needed to fill the fridges and cupboards. He paid for the items and they went to car driving home. He brought Noah inside first then the groceries.

The kids gathered around him and looked at their new brother.

"Daddy can I take him out from the capsule."

"We will leave him in there baby because he is sleeping. You can all have a hold of him when he wakes up."

The kids still sat by him and stayed quiet just watching their new brother.

"We'll keep an eye on him daddy so we know that he is safe."

"Okay kids. You keep him safe and let him know that you love him."

Derek went and helped Amelia and Carolyn unpack the groceries.

"How was everything today?" Amelia asked.

"Good. Meredith is getting better. Just hoping in the next few days she wakes."

…

_16 months before the crash _

14 months later Meredith was ready to have the next baby. Just after we became 2nd year attending's she found out she was pregnant again and due in February.

Today was Valentine's day and I had planned to do something with Meredith. We had had made plans for today last year but we didn't expect to become pregnant.

Lexie was looking after the kids for the night at the house. Meredith was in the tub soaking when I heard her call out to me.

I ran up the stairs and she told me that she had been timing the contractions and they were getting closer and closer. I helped her from the tub and she dressed and we headed to the car where I drove to get to the ferry. The ferry arrived but was delayed. The contractions were 5 minutes apart but were getting closer as time went.

I drove from the ferry and we headed to the highway and I sped like a maniac.

"Derek slow down."

"I don't want my kid born on the side of the road."

I noticed the flashing lights and the cop car behind us. I pulled over and wound down my window and the officer came to the window but before he spoke Meredith had interrupted.

"My waters have broken Derek and the contractions are less than a minute apart and I can feel the baby. This baby will be born on the side of the road." She said.

I was shocked. So was the officer. The other officer had come and joined him to see what was going on. I got out from my side of the car and came to her side. I pushed her chair back and sat in the tiny space between her legs and the wetness from the waters that had broken.

"Um can you open the back…" Was all I said.

"Derek." Meredith screamed and pushed at the same time.

That is when my new baby was delivered. I had caught my baby girl in my hands. I cleared her airways and one of the officers handed me his jacket to wrap her in. These two officers I had always seen when we had emergent cases and they always came and spoke to me so they were familiar.

"We have a girl Meredith. A little girl." I told her placing the baby in her arms. I stood up and kissed her.

The officers stood by and watched us. Meredith was crying with joy.

"I'll call for an ambulance." The officer said.

The ambulance arrived 5 minutes later and got Meredith onto the gurney and into the back of the ambulance.

"I'll drive Mer." I tell her.

She clutched our little girl who was still wrapped in the officers' jacket. The officers stayed with us the whole time and we had a police escort to the hospital.

I met up with Meredith and they had taken her to recovery where they checked our baby girl. Kendall Madelyn Shepherd. After her exams I brought her down to the waiting room. Now she was wrapped in a blanket and had a knitted hat on her head and the two officers came over to us.

"I would like to introduce you to Kendall Madelyn Shepherd."

"She is gorgeous Derek." The first one said.

"She really is." The second one replied.

"I better be getting her back to her mum."

"Derek we are letting you off with a warning but next time be careful."

"Oh next time I drive I won't speed. This was just one of those moments when you have to speed so your wife doesn't deliver on the side of a highway." I told them.

"Oh you can keep the jacket as well Derek. Frame it."

They smiled at me and I turned and left with Kendall entering Meredith's room I lay her in Meredith's arms.

"We're going to frame the jacket. Hang it over her crib." I tell her.

She just laughs at me before shaking her head and then looking down at Kendall, our highway baby.

**What'd you think? Let me know. **

**Next chapter I will have up in a few days again and it will be the moment bringing Kendall home and how the first night Noah is home unfolds.**


	13. The Crappy Things

**Okay final few chapters. It's getting tense. I promise good things but not for 2 chapters. So good things will happen.**

_16 months before the crash_

2 days after Meredith delivered Kendall we were allowed to bring her home. I left Meredith at home while I went to pick up some supplies and the kids from Lexie's.

When I arrived home I unpacked the groceries and told the kids to be quite because of the new baby. They had resorted to staying in the kids' room and playing with their toys.

I headed up the stairs to the bedroom and opened the door. I stood in the doorway and saw Meredith and Kendall asleep on the bed.

As I got closer I could hear the out of sync snoring that the two of them were doing.

Out of three kids we had one snorer and she was like her mother.

I covered Kendall and Meredith with a blanket then left the room closing the door.

"Hey kids do you want to see something cute?" I asked the kids entering the play room.

"Okay daddy."

I led the two kids upstairs to the bedroom and opened the door. I showed them their mother and Kendall's snoring. Like mother like daughter.

The kids snickered with laughter then I lead them from the room and went and played with them.

When Meredith woke up Sophie had started telling her how Kendall is a mummy's girl.

"Well she has mummy's eyes so of course she is a mummy's girl." Meredith said tickling Sophie.

Sophie broke out into a fit of giggles. Over the years we discovered her laugh was just like Meredith. She laughed like Meredith but she didn't snore.

I found it cute that a woman of Meredith's size could make a noise that loud and the size of Kendall could make a noise that big.

Later when Meredith and I were in bed she sat nursing Kendall.

"So we both seriously snore?" She asked.

"Yeah you do. It's quite charming."

"Kendall is only what 3 days old and she snores like a trucker." Meredith says. "She's going to have a lot of stories told about her snoring when she is older."

"Her, I bet you snored like Kendall when you were that age."

"I asked my father and I did. It's quite sad." She said smiling at me.

Kendall was asleep and we sat admiring her. She had a mane of black hair covering her head. She was absolutely gorgeous just like Patrick, Sophie and Angus.

All the kids were born with a mane of black hair covering their heads and blue eyes, Kendall had the green eyes though.

I patted her head and ran my hand smoothly over it. I kissed her crown and took her from Meredith.

"I'll put her to bed."

I got up so carefully from the bed and went and placed her in the bassinet. I covered her with a blanket and watched her sleep. This was one of those moments I loved. Sitting and watching the kids sleep when they were just born. They all had their ways of sleeping and it was beautiful.

I joined Meredith in bed and we cuddled each other.

"I'm hoping if we have another kid it won't be born on the highway." Meredith had told me.

"Maybe we should stay at the house in town when we know that will happen so we can get to the hospital. Or we could just live at the hospital."

"No way." She says and I can tell she is smiling as she says that.

…

After dinner Noah finally woke. Derek let Sophie feed him but Derek took him back to burp. He stayed awake as his siblings held him and he had a hint of a smile prying on his mouth.

"Okay kids bath time." Carolyn had said to them.

"Hey daddy when will Noah be able to bath with us?" Sophie had asked him.

"When he is a few months older. I have no problem with him bathing in there now but we will wait until he is older. I'll resort to bathing him in the kitchen sink."

He followed the kids upstairs and had Noah in his bouncer. Carolyn helped undress the kids and climb into the bath. Since Angus was in plaster and Sophie they all had to pitch in helping around with them.

"Hey nanna when will we be able to come visit you at the farm since we didn't get there this time around." Angus had asked.

"Well how about when Mummy is out of hospital and is well and has recovered. Maybe Christmas time. Noah will be older as well."

"How old will Noah be?"

"Well if his birthdate was the 17th of June then how old do you think he will be?" She asks him. "Let's count. So July, August, September, October, November, December." She says holding her fingers up as she goes.

Angus counts her fingers. "6 years old." He says.

"No he will be 6 months old. Noah would be older than you if he was 6 years old." She says smiling at him.

"Well I at least got the 6 part."

"Derek can I see you for one moment?" Amelia had asked him.

"Yeah sure." Derek followed her down to the spare room. "What's up?"

"Well I just got a call from the police. The driver of the other car has finally made his statement to the police and he has somehow blamed you for the accident."

"What that can't be true. We had right of way."

"There's more. He said that you assaulted him after the accident and at the hospital."

"Why did he say that?"

"Because that is what he believed happened."

"Dam exactly what I need."

"The police asked if you would get back to them."

"I'll go down to the station and see them as soon as the kids go down for bed."

She nodded her head at Derek and he went and got Noah and put him to sleep on his bed beside the capsule and went and helped get the kids dressed and into bed. They finally fell asleep and he put Noah into the capsule and packed a bag and headed down to the station.

"Derek you don't have to do this right away."

"Yes I do. This is my future and I need to sort this out before more things happen. I could be charged with attempted murder because my wife is in a coma."

"Derek the police will know that this is something you are not capable of. You love your family."

"Just leave me alone to deal with this." He says trying to get out of the door.

"Derek leave Noah with me. I can get him to bed."

"I'm taking him with me Ma." He says pocketing his phone and moving to the doorway.

Amy stands in his way. "If you want to go you have to go through me or at least take me."

He stood there for a moment.

"Fine let's go."

They got in the car and drove to the police station. Amelia took the capsule from the car and followed Derek inside.

"What was the officer's name?" Derek asked.

"Constable Banks."

Derek shook his head. This had to be a coincidence. Constable Banks always came to the hospital when there was an emergent case like high school shootings and he was the one who pulled him over on the highway the day Kendall was born.

"Hi can I help you." The receptionist asked.

"Um my sister received a call from Constable Banks over an hour ago. Is he around?"

"Yes he is. Just take a seat for me. Can I get a name please?"

"Derek Shepherd."

They sat down on the chairs. Derek had wished this hadn't happened. They waited and waited for 20 minutes when he finally came out and greeted them.

"Derek hi. You didn't have to drive out here, you could have called."

"I had to drive out here because if I was at home I might have made a scene in front of my kids and I didn't want to."

"Okay come on in." He says.

"You coming Amy?"

"Yeah sure." She said standing up with the capsule and following Derek and the Constable into his office.

The Constable shut his door and went and sat in his chair.

"Okay Derek I know that you made your statement 2 days after the accident and stated that you were driving to your mum's farm and that you and the kids were playing eye spy…"

"_Okay Derek tell us what happened on the date of June the 5__th__."_

"_Well we had our morning of getting ready to go to my mother's farm 3 hours away. We had the kids packed in the car and in their car seats. We stopped half an hour out of town because my wife if 7 months pregnant and said that she had to go to the toilet and my youngest Kendall had to have her nappy changed. We stopped for 30 minutes and then left again. Meredith was asleep, so was Kendall. The kids were bickering away at what they wanted to do at the farm and Angus and I decided that we would go fishing. The kids said that they wanted to pick the vegetables from the garden and ride the pony. It is one of those car trips that we had when we grew up always fighting at what we wanted to do first. Meredith asked if they wanted to play a game and we started to play eye spy. It was soon my turn and I got Meredith to guess what it was. Halfway through telling Meredith she got it right the car crashed into our side, tee-boning us. We had right of way and this car tee-boned us; we went flipping twice and ended up against a tree. I could hear the kids screaming in the back and then I blacked out." He told them. _

"_What happened after that?"_

"_Well I woke and heard one of my kids crying. Blood was dripping down my face but I couldn't see who was crying. I figured out it was Kendall and I tried to keep the kids calm. Sophie soon woke and I sat realising that I had always seen these accidents and how the pregnant mother and child to be were always torn apart and one of them died. I didn't want that to happen. I kept the positive feeling and had two of my kids talking. I noticed Meredith's side was extremely bad and had sustained all of the damage. My son Angus was on that side as well. I had Sophie tell me what was wrong with Kendall, Angus and herself and she told me what she saw. The other driver came to my car and asked if we were okay. He was panicking; I got him to calm down and call for an ambulance and tell them better details. Meredith soon woke and asked what had happened and I asked her if she could feel the baby and she said she could. She then blacked out and I went and checked my kids. I had to have a minute to myself and I went and stood by a tree and threw up and had to have a moment to myself. The ambulance, police and search and rescue along with a helicopter came to the accident and the other driver Jason had told me that he was really sorry. They got all the kids out and Meredith out and put her in a helicopter and the kids in ambulances."_

"_Did you go with your wife?"_

"_No I went with Kendall. She is 16 months old. You can't leave a baby by themselves on a trip that long. You have to be by there side to protect them. I love my kids and my wife. I don't want anything to happen to them."_

"_How is your wife?"_

"_She is in a stable condition. She still hasn't woken up. She has had surgeries to remove brain bleeds and to fixed abdominal injuries and they are trying to keep my unborn baby inside his mother until she is 40 weeks."_

"_What about your kids."_

"_My son has had surgery to remove his spleen and fix other abdominal injuries. He has also had his leg operated on. He had a shattered leg. Sophie has had her arm plastered. She has 2 broken ribs and no other injuries and Kendall only had a broken collarbone."_

"_What about your injuries?"_

"_I had a broken wrist. I had lost consciousness when I arrived at the hospital and had a mild concussion. I also had a few broken ribs."_

"_Okay that is all we need from you. We will try and get a statement from the other driver."_

"Why is the other driver stating that I was the one who caused the accident? I had right of way. He had to give way to me and he drove straight into us and sent us flying into a tree and put my wife in a coma. Why is he accusing me of this?"

"Derek you have to calm down. I was reading over your notes and you told me that the driver Jason said he was really sorry for this whole thing."

"Does he now think that I attempted to kill my family?"

"Derek just breathe." Amelia said to him.

"This is unbelievable. Aren't you going to charge him with negligent driving and dangerous driving? Didn't you run a blood test on him and get his results back. Why haven't you?"

"Doctors kept the records personal. I have been trying to get them but they will not hand them over to me."

"This is seriously fucked up. Why can't you do something about it?"

"Derek we are doing all we can."

"Okay why don't you bring him back in here and run a random drug test on him because someone who said that I was the one who caused the accident must be on drugs."

The Constable was silent.

"What?" Derek said.

"I will call the hospital again but they don't have any hospital records of a person named Jason Wilkins. There was a Jason Frasier who I have gotten records for and he has been charged with possession of illegal drugs and has been in jail for a short amount of time because of a numerous amount of robberies but the hospital won't give me Jason Wilkins records because they simply don't have any. He made his statement and left. Jason Wilkins fits his profile though. Bald, about 26, brown eyes, tattoos and 6 ft 5. The records from the accident clam that Jason Wilkins had some sort of drug in his system."

"Why aren't you doing anything to find Jason Frasier because he could be the guy and you should arrest that guy anyway because he had drugs in his system. Shouldn't that be the dead giveaway that I didn't cause the accident?"

The Constable was silent again.

"Derek we have sent a team out there right now. I didn't find out about the drugs in his system until 2 minutes before you walked into my office. That's why I sent a team out to his supposed address and to Jason Frasier's address."

"This is seriously fucked up." Derek says in a quiet voice. "Why didn't the hospital tell you straight away about the drugs in his system?"

"I don't know. It seems as though someone had lied about it and was an alibi for him."

"For fuck sakes."

Amy just sat there not knowing what to do. They had been given so much information in 2 minutes that it was unbelievable. The Constable also sat there not knowing what to do. He was beating himself inside.

"Derek are you okay?" Amy asked breaking the silence.

"How can I be Amy? My wife is in a coma and has been for 11 days. My kids have plaster covering them and have broken bones and have had surgery. Noah was born 5 weeks early and his mother hasn't held him yet, she doesn't even know that he has been born yet. I feel as though my family is falling apart one step at a time because one thing happens after the other." He says just as his phone rings.

"Hello?"

"_Derek Its Owen here. We have found another brain bleed."_

"You can't be serious."

"_Derek this is good. We suspect that if the brain bleed is evacuated then Meredith will wake up in a matter of days. Dr Nelson is taking her into surgery now."_

"Okay I am dealing with a situation now but as soon as it gets sorted I will come by."

"_Okay Derek I will keep you posted."_

Derek hung up the phone. "Just what I way saying. One thing happens and it feels as though my family is one step in falling apart."

"Derek what's going on?"

"They have found another brain bleed and when they evacuate it they suspect that she will wake up in a matter of days."

"That is good news." Amelia says standing up beside him. He shakes his head. "Come on Derek it's been what 11 days make it 12 days since she has been in a coma. You have sat by her beside for those days and wished and hoped that she opened her eyes. This could be the moment she opens her eyes."

Derek just breaks down into tears and Amelia wraps her arms around him. They fall to the ground and she comforts him.

"This is good Derek."

"But the guy who caused the accident was on drugs and the doctor had kept that personal for 11 days. He then blamed the accident on me when all I wanted to do was take a holiday with my wife and kids before we our next child was born. It was our way of winding down before the baby was born. When we came back we were going to finish the nursery and do our final shopping but look what has happened." He says. "Amy look at the crappy things that have happened to me and her. They get worse as time goes by."

"What things?"

"Well high school."

"Derek that is high school. High school is crappy for everyone."

"Okay then. Our break up before med school."

"Derek all couples break up."

"Meredith being attacked by the patient and Patrick dying."

"Okay that's one crappy thing."

"Meredith drowning."

"That was another crappy thing." She says. "2 crappy things have happened to your family."

"Okay what about the accident and everything else that has happened in this past 2 weeks."

"Derek that is 3 crappy things that you have gone through together. Some families go through more crappier things. We've had crappy things happen to us when we grew up but that wasn't with Meredith. That was a Shepherd thing. Meredith has had family issues and they are a Grey thing. 3 things have happened to you. That's a good number Derek. I believe that no more crappy things will happen."

Derek's phone rang again.

"It could be the hospital." She suggested.

Derek answered. "Ma what's up?" He asked. The tone in her voice scared him.

"_Something has happened Derek."_

Derek's face went a shade of white.

**Sorry for the cliff-hanger. It just has to happen to follow on. But from bad things good things happen. I have recently learnt that but it's true. Anyway the next chapter is the follow up of what has happened which I won't say. I will though update ASAP to not leave you hanging. **

**The flashback is just a small one. It is 5 months before the crash.**

**So read and review and the next chapter will be up ASAP.**


	14. My Soul Mate, My Best Friend

**Here is the next chapter. I'm not too happy with it but oh well. I am being a critic of my own writing.**

**Anyway there are 2 more chapters after this so it's coming to an end and Meredith is still in a coma but the good is just around the corner.**

_5 months before the crash._

It was a beautiful day outside. Derek had left for work and had taken Sophie into school. She had started school last August and had loved every minute of it. I didn't work today so I had the day at home with the kids. Kendall was just shy of turning 1 year old in a few days. She grew up beautifully and was walking and had been walking since she was 10 months. When I fed her she would watch Angus and Sophie run around the house and would start to follow them with her eyes. She would track them and one day while I fed her I could see her legs start to place themselves on the ground and she would take off and chase after her brother and sister.

I still fed her and made sure we were in a private room but the past week I had cut out feeding her all together because I had lost so much weight but because the doctor had advised me to stop feeding her because of the dramatic weight I had become. I had also been feeling sick for a week every night and the doctor had told me to stop before it was too late. I had taken his advice and stopped breastfeeding her and in a few days I had put on some more weight and was in a healthy weight range.

I heard her over the baby monitor blabbering away to herself.

Getting up from the bed I went into the nursery and started to feel nauseous. I knew what this feeling meant and decided that when I had the kids fed and entertained I would take out one of the tests from the cupboard and see if it was true.

"Morning Kendall. Let's get some breakfast hey."

I carried her downstairs because of a morning she was always clumsy and would fall over if she was walking so you had to carry her until she properly woke up and then she would anywhere. Angus was sitting up on the lounge watching TV when we came downstairs.

"Morning Angus."

"Morning mummy."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes please."

I placed Kendall in the highchair and made breakfast for her and for Angus. The two kids sat eating their breakfast and I ate mine. I cleaned Kendall down after she finished eating and gave her a bottle and she sat with her brother.

I headed up the stairs to my bathroom and went to my cupboard and opened it up finding the box of unopened pregnancy tests. I had seemed to stockpile them from the clinic and had a huge stash of them.

So I sat and peed on 3 tests and found out that all three were positive. I shook my head and knew that this was true. I wrapped them up and binned them and had the results in the back of my mind until at least Derek got home.

When Derek finally did get home we had sex and after we finished I told him. He was over the moon and then the dirty sex started.

With the weeks passing quickly we planned to take 6 weeks leave before the birth to go to Carolyn's farm and then do the last preparations before the baby was born. We had also worked out our maternity and parental leave for after the birth. Derek would take 4 weeks off. Everything was ready to go for the birth of our baby.

…

Carolyn had all the lights off except for the one in the kitchen. She was headed to bed but first she wanted to make herself a cuppa. She heard a car pull up outside and thought it was Derek and Amelia but she thought that it wasn't because she had expected them to be longer. While she stirred the milk into her tea she heard an explosion of gunshots being fired into the house. One bullet flew past her and she ducked behind the cupboards and waited until the explosion finished.

They soon did and she heard the screams and the cries from the kids upstairs. She ran up the stairs and greeted the kids in the same room.

"Nanna what happened?" Angus asked

"I don't know Angus." She says wrapping her arms around the kids.

Derek had dropped the phone and Amelia picked it up.

"Hello."

"_Amy someone has shot into the house. I was making myself a cuppa when I heard shots being fired. One flew straight past me."_

"How are the kids?"

"_They are good."_

"Okay I will put you on with the police." She says handing the phone over. "Derek's house has been shot up."

Derek felt as though he was going to be sick. The Constable took the phone into his hands.

"Hi Mrs Shepherd. Tell me if you see a car nearby?"

"_There is no car. I had locked the doors as soon as Derek and Amelia left because what he had said about the driver charging him with attempted murder made me feel uneasy."_

"I'm sending a team out right away. Tell me how the kids are doing."

"_I have them with me. We are hiding."_

"Okay Mrs Shepherd just stay calm. The kids aren't injured at all are they?"

"_No they aren't. Thank god for that."_

"Okay sit tight. I will stay in touch with you when the officers get to your house. Sit tight."

"_I will."_

He hangs up the phone and dials out to the reception. "Casey send a team out to Derek Shepherd's house in Seattle. A drive by shooting has happened and send the other team searching for Jason Wilkins to the ferryboat. That's the only way to get out of Seattle and send another team to his house."

"_Yes Constable Banks."_

Noah had started to cry and Amy nor Derek reacted. They sat by each other unable to move. Constable Banks went and retrieved Noah from the Capsule and held him.

"_There is a team there already sir. They were driving by and saw the shooting. They have followed the car and are sending a team to the house."_

"Derek I need you to breathe. I am getting you and your sister to stay here and sending a team out to investigate and get your kids and mother and we will bring them her. I want you to stay here because it is dangerous out there and the person responsible for the shooting could be looking for you."

Derek sat there then remembered something.

"Shit his brother was a patient of mine. His brother died after bleeding out in one of my surgeries and we pulled the plug on him because he wasn't going to wake up. I remember I ran into Meredith and she told me that she had finished up for the day and that she was on her way to get the kids and pick up some groceries and go home and start dinner. I remember I kissed her goodbye and left my hand linger on her stomach. I wanted to wait around and wait for a while until the brother left."

…

_2 days before the accident. _

I had had a male patient come into the pit. He was 35 years old and had come in high on drugs and he had crashed his car into a tree he was unrestrained and his head went through the window.

We had him in surgery working on his injuries. I was working on his brain injuries and he bled out and ended up in a coma. I had checked his scans and realised that he would never wake up.

I stayed in his room with his younger brother and decided to be there with them.

"Derek." I hear. I turn to see Meredith looking bright and chirpy.

It was her last day today at work before she went on maternity leave.

"Hey you. What are you up to?"

"Well Richard has let me finish early so I will go and get Kendall from day care and the kids from school. I'll go and get some groceries and head home and start dinner."

"Okay well I don't know how long I am going to be." I tell her and point my head towards the patient.

"Oh that's fine. I'll see you later." She says kissing me. "Call me when you're headed home but knowing me I will most likely not be awake but just call me so I know if you coming home."

"Hey it's my last day today for 10 weeks so I will be home tonight."

She smiled at me and kissed me once more. My hands met her stomach. Her baby belly was beautiful and she was now 34 weeks. So it wouldn't be long until we got to hold the baby.

"See you tonight." I tell her and watch as she turns and leaves.

I turn back into the room and I can feel the brother watching me. I stayed in the room for that whole time just waiting until he was ready for me to pull the plug.

Mark had come by my room and talked to be about the trip.

"Hey so what time are you planning on leaving on Sunday?"

"About 11 and I expect to pull over a few times and I think we will end up stopping half an hour from town because the kids will need to go to the toilet and Kendall will most likely need her nappy changed and Meredith will need a toilet break as well."

"You have it all sorted. Which way are you going?"

"The only way to the farm. The Hume Highway."

"Okay well I advise you go home so you can get ready for the trip."

"That's Sunday."

"Well still. Go home to your wife and kids. She is what almost 8 months pregnant and is looking after 3 kids under 6. It's a bit stressful. You don't want her to go into early labour."

"She'll be fine."

"Go home to your wife man." Mark says patting my back and walking away.

I stay there and wait for a few more hours when I finally get permission to pull the plug. I sign the papers and leave going home.

I didn't give another thought about the family again because I now had mine with me.

But I did decide to phone in and ask the nurse about the brother but she told me he had left as soon as I left so I didn't give it another thought.

…

"Derek there was nothing you could have done."

"I know, it's just that this whole thing might not have happened if I didn't pull the plug."

"Derek the patient was at the Maximum Security Jail. He had murdered a family for money because he was high on drugs and was sentenced to a lifetime in prison. The jail was the one who made the choice because he no longer had the contact with his family and they couldn't make the choice. The prison did and they decided to pull the plug on him. It wasn't your fault."

"Then why does my house get shot up at?"

The phone in the office rings.

"Yes Banks here."

"_Constable Banks. We have Jason and we are bringing him in now. The team is almost at the Shepherd house. You best give the team a call."_

"Thanks. How far do you think you are?"

"_10 minutes."_

"We have Dr Shepherd here so bring him out the back and leave him downstairs in the basement locked up. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

"_Yes sir."_

Banks hung up the phone and dialled the team headed to the Shepherd's house in the woods.

"Amelia do you mind calling your mother please."

Amelia dialled Carolyn.

"Hi Ma. Yes they are almost there. Just sit tight for a few minute."

The phone in the office rang again and Banks answered.

"_We are outside the Shepherd residences in town."_

"Okay Ma they are here. You best meet them at the door."

Carolyn had the kids with her in the laundry. She held them close and none of them were hit so she was glad for that. She answered the door with Kendall on her hip and Angus and Sophie besides her as well.

"Mrs Shepherd."

"Yes."

"We are going to get you and bring you and the kids to the station. Are any of the kids injured?"

"No we are fine. You best have a look at where they shot at because it was so close to the kids."

"Okay come with me." He said.

"Oh one of you might have to carry Angus."

"I will." One of the other officers says bending down and picking him up. "What happened to you?"

"Well we were in a car accident and my leg shattered."

"Well you are a brave boy."

They were escorted out to the police car and driven to the station while the team stayed back and checked out the house.

"_Banks, Mrs Shepherd is here with the kids."_

"Thanks Casey."

"_And the other team is here with Jason. They have him downstairs."_

"Thanks Casey."

Derek had left the office and went and greeted the kids.

"Daddy." Sophie says calling out upset.

"Hey baby." He says picking her up in his arms and holding her. "I'm so sorry at what happened."

He bent down and hugged Angus and let go of Sophie and stood up and grabbed Kendall from Carolyn and hugged her.

"Ma I don't know what to say."

"Derek its fine. You were doing what you had to do by doing this. It's fine Derek."

"Meredith is having another surgery." He whispers with sad eyes.

"Oh Derek."

"It's fine."

They headed back to the office of Constable Banks. Amelia had Noah in her arms feeding him.

"Hi Mrs Shepherd. I'm Constable Banks."

"Yes Derek has told me about you. You have done a lot with my family."

"Yes I have especially Kendall here."

"Kendall who's this?" Derek asked her.

"Pete." She says clutching her teddy.

"Yes it is."

"So we will just wait here until we get word from the scene I will get Casey in here and she will help me with the details and then I will head out to the scene. I will then keep you in the meeting room and Casey will look after you and get statements."

"Thanks."

The phone soon rang 10 minutes later and he had his notepad ready to write down details and his tape recorder.

"Banks. What do we have?"

"_Okay 15 shots have been fired into numerous parts of the house. Including lounge room, kitchen, the main bedroom upstairs with 3 shots. The kid's room and the bathroom."_

"Does it look as though they were aiming for anything in particular?"

"_Let's just say that the kids were lucky. If they were awake and sitting up then they could have been shot. In the main bedroom as well the basinet is in there I know that Derek has a newborn son but if his son had been sleeping in that bassinet he would have been shot. It has gone in one end and out the other. This family was lucky."_

"I guess it was a good idea bring Noah with me tonight." Derek says in shock.

"Derek I almost made you keep him with me. I feel horrible what if something had happened."

"Ma nothing did."

"Okay thank you. I am going to get Casey to help prepare a media file for me and then I am heading out there. I'm sending the investigating team out now."

Time flew. Casey had been in and prepared a media report and had taken a statement from Carolyn. They were then ushered to the meeting room where they were served tea and coffee and given food and told to sit tight for a while and they did. They kids had fallen asleep and the other receptionist had made a bed up for the kids and they slept peacefully. It was after 6 and Derek had turned to TV on to watch the news. The first thing on was the shooting.

"_Just after 10 o'clock last night a drive by shooting occurred in this house in West Seattle. For what we know is that 15 shots had been fired into this family home where 3 kids under 6 were sleeping and their Grandmother was downstairs in the kitchen. The shots were fired into the house. The father of the kids was with his sister and 3 day old son at Seattle police station and the mother is in a coma at Seattle Grace hospital following a car accident that this family was in 12 days ago." The reported said. There were shots of the house and then as soon as she talked about the car accident they showed pictures of the accident and it brought back all those memories. "And that accident was the one that involved this family and another vehicle and left the 35 year old pregnant mother in a serious condition who is now in a coma and has been for the past 12 days."_

"_Angela has there been a statement about who has caused this accident or do they have this person already."_

"_Well a police car was on duty and had seen the shooting happen and they chased the car and have the man in custody."_

"_Angela the links involving the accident and the shooting are very similar aren't they?"_

"_Yes. The person involved in the drive by shooting was the one who caused the same accident and the police have reported that at the time of the accident the driver was high on illegal substances. The father of the family, Dr Shepherd was also the doctor of the driver's brother who was a detainee at the prison and who escaped and crashed his car and was brain dead and the state had decided to pull the plug since he was on death row."_

"_That is a crazy tie." The other reporter said. "Was there a person driving the car?"_

"_No there wasn't."_

"_How are the family doing?"_

"_They are doing well. They were just lucky to not have any serious injuries. One of the shots that were fired entered the main bedroom and went through the bassinet that the 3 day old newborn could have been sleeping in but he was out with his father at the time so this whole thing has been luck."_

"_Thanks Angela. We will be in touch." She says. "That's Angela at the scene of a drive by shooting that occurred after 10 o'clock last night. We now cross to Constable Banks who is in charge of this case." The anchor said introducing the Constable. "Now this whole case is linked in a crazy way. That accident involving the Shepherd family 12 days ago was a horrific accident. A report coming through now has stated that the driver who we can't name at this moment was under the influence of illegal drugs. Why is this only coming through now shouldn't you have picked up on this the day it happened?"_

"_Well the same time the shooting happened we had just gotten the doctors reports from the driver. They had told us that they didn't have the history of the patient and it wasn't use handing it over. We then found out that the driver used a different last name and then we pieced everything together and we finally got the report through claiming that he was under the influence at the time of the accident."_

"_Then why didn't you get the drivers statement straight after the crash."_

"_Because the doctors had said that because of the condition he was in he couldn't be questioned."_

"_So was he in a worst position then Dr Meredith Grey, Dr Shepherd's wife who is in a coma at this very minute."_

"_I was not in charge of the other driver. Another officer was. I was in charge of the Shepherd family and made sure they were fine and got a statement from Dr Derek Shepherd considering he was the only one who was awake and stable. I wouldn't burden kids of that age on this whole thing."_

"_Dr Grey how is her condition now?"_

"_I don't want to comment on that just now. I will leave that up to the family to comment."_

"_Okay thanks for your time Constable Banks." The anchor read. "We will have more of this later on the bulletin when we have more details come through."_

"Ma I need to go back to the house."

"Derek no you don't."

"Ma this is something I have to do. You have to trust me on this one."

"Okay Derek go."

"Are you bringing Noah?"

"Yes I will."

Grabbing the capsule Derek headed over to the house. There were police cars and police vans everywhere. News vans and just spectators lined the street. Derek pushed past everyone with Noah in his arms.

"Sir you can't pass."

"Let him through. It's Dr Shepherd."

Derek made his way through. The news reporters had finally gotten their glance of Derek and started throwing questions his way.

Carolyn and Amy were watching as Derek had made his way through with Noah.

"_Breaking news now. We have seen Dr Shepherd arrive and he left us with a comment on how this has affected him."_

"_How has the past 12 days affected you and your family?"_

"_It's been hard. Everything has happened in a short amount of time and it is just crazy. My son hasn't been held by his mother yet because that son of a bitch crashed into us and almost killed my wife and kids. It's the worst feeling in the world and if you're a doctor you see this happen but it's on a whole new level the way it affects you when you are the victim of this. Most accidents are accidental but this was on purpose I don't know how I am supposed to go on if my wife never wakes because she is my soul mate and my best friend. The kids won't have their mother. It's just the worst feeling when this happens."_

**Let me know what you all thought. I know it wasn't good but just think of it like a filler. **

**Next chapter I will have up ASAP because I want the happy ending to come soon and share that with everyone. Next chapter is mainly the flashback to the day before the accident. So it is a family filled event in the perspective of Meredith. The happy ending will be there. So stick around and the ending will happen.**

**So please review and let me know. Even just ask me questions and leave opinions or anything else.**


	15. I Won't Waste A Minute Without You

**Okay people finally the moment you have all been waiting for.**

After checking out the house Derek headed to the hospital after phone call from Richard telling him about Meredith and that he heard about the shooting.

The kids stayed with Carolyn and Amy and they took them home to the house in the woods with the police watching them.

Derek had Noah with him and went and sat at Meredith's bedside. He was starting to lose hope.

He climbed up beside her and held her and soon closed his eyes and fell asleep.

…

_The day before the crash_

The sun beamed through the curtains and I could feel the warmth hitting my bareback.

When Derek got home last night we put the kids to bed and he gave me sex because he wanted to apologise for not being there to help with the kids.

We were both naked and the warmth coming through the windows was nice. I could feel Derek stir from beside me and felt him lean over me and start kissing my back and his hand come to my pregnant stomach. He finished with a kiss to my cheek and I turned to face him.

"Morning beautiful." He says.

"You're in a cheery mood."

"Well I have 10 weeks off from work, we're going on holidays tomorrow and I got laid last night. And I'm also with my wife who is gorgeous and is pregnant."

I smiled at him and kissed him.

"What are we doing today?"

"Well I thought about a picnic and then a day of just being with the kids doing nothing but enjoying that energetic mood that they are always in and how nothing bad is ever going to happen to them because kids are like that especially our kids because nothing is ever going to happen to us because I believe that we have had our run of bad luck but now all the good things are coming through."

It was true I had hope for our run of bad things to end and that the good things would now happen. The positives.

"Okay well to make our day good I think we should get dressed before the kids wake because I don't want to explain what we were doing just yet at least for 6 years to Soph. Angus you can explain that to him and Kendall 10 years."

"Why do I have to explain it to Angus? Why can't I explain it to the girls?" He asked me.

"Have you experienced being a girl?"

"No."

"Yeah so we'll stick with what we know." I said to him with a huge smile on my face.

He smiled back at me and kissed me before getting up from bed and grabbing his pyjamas for him and for me. Being this pregnant brought it out of me sometimes and I couldn't even see my feet but I was so used to it because I had already done it 5 times so I was used to everything but each pregnancy was different for me. I still loved being pregnant and was soaking it in because this was the last.

I sat up on the edge of the bed and attempted to get dressed. Derek had come over and helped dress me. It was so romantic the way he dressed me. I wanted to rip his clothes off but I knew that after my huge talk about not wanting to explain things to the kids I decided to save they clothes ripping for later.

He helped me up and we headed down the hall and checked the kid's rooms. They were still sleeping soundly considering it was only 7. Kendall though was up so both of us went and got her.

"Hey baby girl." I said to her kissing her.

"Mumma."

I lent down and got her from the crib and she snuggled into me.

"Look." I said pointing at Derek.

She looked at him and smiled. "Dadda."

"Hey baby."

She held her arms out for him to take her and he did. He carried her and we headed downstairs to make breakfast for her. Derek made her breakfast and I got her bottle of milk.

Derek made me breakfast and I had my drink with me. After every couple of bits I would sip from my cup.

"Check out Kendall but still do what you were doing."

Turning to Kendall she saw talking a few bits and then would have a sip from her bottle. I would take a few bits and sip from my drink.

I watched as she mimicked exactly what I did.

"What are you doing Kendall?"

She smiled at me and started her giggle.

"You're a checking little girl."

"No mummy is."

I started tickling her and she giggled more so I stopped and kissed her forehead. I had finished breakfast and stood up and placed my plate in the sink and kissed Derek and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"What's this all about?"

"Our beautiful morning and our beautiful kids." I said and he kissed me again longer and harder.

"Morning mummy and daddy." Sophie says.

"Morning. What do you want for breakfast?" Derek asked.

"I don't mind."

Angus had soon woken and joined us in the kitchen and ate his breakfast.

"So what do you kids want to do today?" Derek asked.

"Well at kids club we got told about the fete that the park had today. So you could get your face painted and they had rides and things like that." Sophie said.

"That sounds like fun. How about we head out there and we can have a picnic at the park as well and spend the day at the park then we can go pick some things up for tomorrow and then come home and do something here" I suggested.

The kids nodded their heads.

"Okay well eat up."

I had gone upstairs and gotten clothes for the kids to wear. Coming back downstairs I had my hands full of clothes.

I changed Kendall first and her nappy as well. She had kept smiling at me and giggling at me the whole time.

"What is so funny Kendall?" Sophie asks sitting beside us. "She keeps laughing mummy."

"I know Soph. Something's going on in her head."

"Are you excited for today Kendall?" Sophie asked her.

"Soph silly mumma."

"Oh you think everyone is silly this morning." I say to her. "This morning Soph she kept mimicking the way I ate and drank."

"Kendall you're a funny baby sometimes."

"I'm not a baby."

"Yes you are. You're a cheeky baby." I say picking her up and kissing her check.

She laughs even more. I lay her back down and blow raspberries on her stomach.

"What is going on in here?" Derek asks as he walks in with a dressed Angus.

"Kendall's being silly daddy." Sophie says.

Derek dropped to the ground and started ticking her. He soon stopped and she sat up and smiled at us all.

"You are a cheeky baby." I tell her kissing her cheek. "You're all done Kendall."

She went off to play with her toys and I helped dress Soph.

Derek had showered while I cleaned up from breakfast and he swapped so I could shower and get ready.

It was predicted to be warm today. So I had dressed as comfortably as I could and done my hair. Sophie and Kendall had come up the stairs to have their hair done.

I done Kendall's hair in pigtails and she stayed in my room while I braided Sophie's hair. I finished getting dressed and brushed the kid's teeth then we went downstairs. Derek had packed the picnic and gotten Kendall's things ready to go into my bag.

"Okay we are all good to go." Derek says. "Kids go grab your shoes."

They went off and brought their shoes back placing them on their feet and we headed off to catch the ferry. Derek drove to the park and we could see how busy it was.

"Oh I just remembered that I left my camera at work in my cubby." I said.

"Okay we'll drive by and you can race on up and get it."

He dropped me off and I headed up to the attending's lounge. I passed by nurses and doctors and patients and made it to the room. Finding my cubby I opened it and pulled out the camera bag. I also had to grab some paperwork that I printed off for Amelia.

"What are you doing here? You are on maternity leave. You should be resting before you child is born and going on holidays with your other children." I heard and I knew whose voice that was.

I turn to see Miranda standing there.

"I am on maternity leave. I left my camera here and some paperwork for Derek's sister. We are spending the day at the park. I am resting."

"Well I know how you were before your other kids were born. You wouldn't want to leave the hospital."

"To my defence that was Cristina."

"You two have always been the influence of each other's behaviour."

"She has no children. She leans on me for that emptiness she feels. I just happen to lean on her as well."

"Well you better leave this hospital in a matter of seconds before I call security to escort you out."

"Hey I'm going." I tell her. "I could have been out been out of here but you stopped me."

"Hey don't blame this on me."

I smiled at her and closed my cubby.

"Have a safe holiday and I hope to see you back here when you have had that baby."

"Yes Dr Bailey."

I left the locker room and headed out down to the lobby. I felt eyes on me as I was walking through and turned to see this man with evil in his eyes staring at me. I turned and hurried out and met up with Derek.

We found a park and got the kids out. Derek opened the stroller for Kendall to go in. I pushed Kendall and Derek carried the packed picnic. Angus held one side of the stroller and Sophie was on the other side.

We found a shaded spot and sat down and had our lunch and decided it would be best to let the kids food settle before they went on any rides. Derek ran back to the car and came back.

"Hey kid's do you want to get your faces painted?" I asked.

"Yes please mummy." Sophie said.

"Okay lets go."

We walked to the stall and we paid for the kids to get their faces painted. Sophie had the obvious butterfly painted over her whole face. Angus went for a tiger and Kendall got cat whiskers.

They looked so cute.

"We have to get a photo of the kids."

Derek took the camera taking a photo and I grabbed my phone taking a photo on that so I could set it as my screen. I had had the same picture of the first ultrasound pic from my pregnancy. I needed a new one and this one made me feel happy just looking at the kids.

We then headed off and done the numerous things that we around like the jumping castles and the slides that they had.

Derek and I sat back with the gear and watched. Derek took the photos and I had to sit down. My feet were hurting me like crazy.

I smiled each time the kids slide down the slide and the smile on their faces. The baby had kicked me as well each time I saw them slide down that slide. I rested my hand on my stomach and drew circles over it.

"What are you smiling about?" Derek asked me.

"The baby is kicking."

Derek's hand came to where my hand was and he waited for the baby to kick and it did he smiled at me and kissed me.

"Daddy, mummy. Look." We heard Sophie call out.

The kids were having a ball. We headed around the park and went and got the kids and ice cream and then headed home.

I was feeling the exhaustion starting to hit me. Kendall was also due for a nap. So as soon as we got home I was fast asleep on the lounge and Kendall was curled up with me as well.

I woke to a kiss on my lips.

"Hey dinner's ready."

"Okay."

I must have been out for a while. Kendall was no longer asleep with me. I sat and stretched out the kinks from my sleep and went and joined the kids.

"Do you sleep well mummy?"

"Yes I did Soph."

The kids talked about their day and how much fun they had had. Their faces were still painted but were starting to wear.

We got them fed and bathed and washed their faces off.

"Have you showed nanna our faces?" Angus asks.

"Well we are going to Skype nanna tonight before we go to bed so we will share a photo of you kids with her." Derek says. "So we better hurry so we can talk to her for a nice long time."

The kids had finished bathing and we dressed them and took them down to the lounge room. Derek brought over the laptop and starting calling Carolyn. I uploaded the photos so we could share them with her. On the screen Carolyn and Amelia's face appeared.

"_Hello everyone."_

"Hi." We all say at the same time.

"Guess what we did today nanna?" Sophie had asked.

"_What did you do?"_

"We went to a fete and had our faces painted and went on the jumping castles."

"_Wow. That sounds like fun." Carolyn says._

"_Do we get to see a picture of you kids?" Amelia asked._

"Yeah I'm sending them through now."

We talked to them for almost 30 minutes and Kendall was asleep.

"Okay well we better get the kids to bed. So say night to Nanna and Aunt Amy." Derek says.

"Night night." Angus said yawing.

"Night Nanna, night Amy."

"_Night kids. Have a good rest and we will see you tomorrow." Carolyn said._

Turning the computer off we got the kids and brought them upstairs to our bedroom. Derek had put Kendall to bed and came back with some story books.

"Oh can we read love you forever?" Angus asks.

"Sure." I say. "Who's going to read?"

"Daddy and mummy."

"Okay mummy can start and then I will follow." Derek says.

I open the book to the first page. We had read this book so many times I knew it off the top of my head but the kids liked looking at the pictures so I read from the book.

"A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and while she held him she sang I love you forever, I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." I told the kids.

Derek continued of reading and I followed on taking turns. When we got to the last page we decided to read together.

"And while he rocked her he sang; I love you forever, I'll like you forever, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." We read to the kids. Angus's eyes were almost shut and Sophie was still awake.

"I really like that story mummy." Angus told me.

"I know you do. We have had to get 2 copies to replace it."

He soon had fallen asleep. Derek picked him up and took him to bed.

"What book do you want now Soph."

"Not a book. A song." She says. "Open your eyes."

"Your favourite song." I say smiling. "Well I'm only going to sing it if you help me."

"Okay."

"_All this feels strange and untrue  
>And I won't waste a minute without you<br>My bones ache, my skin feels cold  
>And I'm getting so tired and so old<br>The anger swells in my guts  
>And I won't feel these slices and cuts<br>I want so much to open your eyes  
>'Cause I need you to look into mine<em>

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
>Tell me that you'll open your eyes<em>

Sophie soon fell asleep. Derek had joined us again and he helped us sing it. He picked her up and carried her to bed.

…

Derek sat beside her now, he had climbed down from the bed to feed Noah and now he sat besides her humming a song. The last song he heard her sing. He felt as though it was contrasting to what was happening then to what is happening now.

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars  
>'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire<br>Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine  
>And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time<br>Every minute from this minute now  
>We can do what we like anywhere<br>I want so much to open your eyes  
>'Cause I need you to look into mine<em>

Derek laid his head back down on the bed and held onto her hand. Noah was asleep soundly in the capsule.

He laid there with his eyes closed and a single tear escaped from his eyes.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes  
>Tell me that you'll open your eyes<em>

He felt movement from her hand that his was grasping. He looked up to see Meredith opening her eyes and adjusting to the light.

"Mer." Derek says standing.

"Derek." She says. "What happened?"

"Don't you remember?"

"I do but I don't really want to." She says. Her hands then move down to her stomach. "What happened? I don't feel him moving."

Derek turned around and took Noah from the capsule and held him up for her.

"I would like you to meet our son, Noah Patrick Shepherd."

She started to cry and Derek leant down and kissed her forehead.

"We have a son?" She asks.

"Yes we do. He has been waiting for his mother for the past 3 days." Derek tells her. He sees her still crying. "Hey no need for these tears."

"I just can't believe. How long have I been asleep for?"

"12 days."

"12 days." She says shocked.

"Do you want to hold your son?"

"Yes please."

Derek lays him down in her arms. "Are you okay?"

"Yes I am. You might just need to watch me. I don't want to drop him."

"You won't."

Derek stood there watching her hold her son for the first time. He took his phone out to capture the moment and he stood back and watched her. There was so much that has happened in 12 days. He wanted to tell her but he decided the best thing was to leave it for later and until she was stronger.

"Oh my god." Derek hears. He turns around and sees Lexie standing there. "You're awake?"

Meredith smiles at her but looks back down at Noah.

"Lexie breathe and can you please tell the nurse that we have someone awake."

"Yes I will." She says leaving the room.

Meredith traces Noah's features.

"I'm hoping you like his name. I didn't know what to call him and I remembered that you liked Noah."

"Derek I love it. He is clearly a Noah."

Derek smiled at her and kissed her again.

"Where's the kids?"

"With Ma and Amelia."

"Can you call and let them know?"

"Sure Mer."

Derek had called to let them know the good news. Carolyn was please and he could hear Amelia scream with joy. He laughed and told them to come into the hospital.

The nurse soon entered the room.

"I hear you're awake."

"Yes I am." She says smiling at Derek and then kissing Noah's head.

_All this feels strange and untrue  
>And I won't waste a minute without you<em>

**What did you think? Are you glad Meredith is awake to see her children grow up?**

**This is not the last chapter. There is one more and it is 6 months later. Christmas, a happy time for the family.**

**Read and review and I will update the final chapter soon.**


	16. Live life, Make life, Be Life

**Last chapter guys. Hopefully you all enjoyed the story and like this last chapter from Meredith's perspective 6 months later.**

_6 months later, Christmas Day_

6 months had past. My hair had grown back to its original length. The cuts, scratches, bruises and broken bones had healed. My surgery scars had healed nicely and they were starting to fade. My rehab was done and dusted in over a few weeks after the doctors told me I was fit and healthy to recover. Being in a coma for 12 days helped my body heal and I was perfectly fine to hold my kids and especially my baby boy Noah.

Derek had shown me the birth of Noah so I could relive at what had happened. He told me that on the 3rd day after the accident they had to sew my cervix shut, then 8 days later they took me to the delivery ward to have a caesarean. I got to watch the moment my son took his first breathe.

Sophie recovered well and she was now a healthy 7 year old attending school and going to ballet.

Angus's shattered leg healed and he was soon walking properly. He had just turned 5 twenty-four days ago and was enjoying playing soccer and swimming and being at pre-k.

Kendall was now 22 months old and she was talking more and her broken collarbone healed itself. She was still mummy's little girl who loved helping me around the house and smiling at me for no reason but to just make my day.

Noah was now 6 months old. He had had a different start to life like some kids but he had a good start to life. No complications but no mother. He still didn't mind. He is like a koala bear and would always stay in my arms hugging me. He loved nothing more but staying in my arms and watching his brother and sister. On my days off we would go for a walk around the trail at the house to have a breather and just have some fresh air.

He was now crawling and would chase his siblings around the house. He always woke at 6 every morning and would blabber away to himself and I would lay in bed and listen to him over the baby monitor. It made my morning the way he talked to himself and think he was Einstein. I could tell he would become a Doctor just like his daddy in the future.

Carolyn had been a saint and stayed with us for 6 weeks after the after the accident but she had to return home to the farm and told us that at Christmas time we would have to come to the farm for another family holiday.

Amelia left a week after I woke because of work. She had been helpful as well. We also found out that Amelia was engaged.

Derek's other sisters took turns filling in for Amelia but I told them to go home because we were fine. We were a family and we could manage.

Molly had come and visited me after I woke up; she brought Laura and her son Ben to visit us.

Dad didn't come and visit me. After Susan's death 6 years ago he was placed in front of the TV with a bottle of Scotch. I didn't have much contact with him after I found out he was drinking himself to an early death. Lexie or Molly didn't have anything to do with him either.

Everyone else had managed to help in a way that was hard to explain. They just helped even if it was a hello or a smile. It made my recovery better.

The guy who crashed into us and shot up our house was arrested and sentenced with murder (another person), attempted murder, 6 people (including an unborn baby), attempted murder again to 4 people, endangerment of life, possession of illegal drugs and all the other offences he has committed.

They also found the nurse that had kept his file confidential and she was charged and was suspended having her medical license suspended.

Derek went to testify for our family and his statements had practically placed him in jail. Constable Banks had helped our family through everything that had happened and kept us safe. We would usually call to ask how we were all doing. He had become part of our family.

We sold the house in Seattle because Derek told me every time he went there all he could see was the blood that could have been there after the shooting. We had it repaired and sold to a young family who I hoped would have great memories like we did in that house.

And for Derek, he became the best husband. I can't imagine my life without him. He stuck by my side for 12 days but he also was honest with me and told me that he thought I would never wake up and end up dying. I was grateful for him telling me this because it made our relationship stronger and I never thought that our relationship could get any stronger but it did.

I told him that I would understand if he had walked away from me when I was in a coma. Going through my rehab and my recovery stage because I was sometimes the biggest pain in the arse and the biggest bitch throughout my recovery. He said that he couldn't walk away from me because we had only had 4 bad things happen to us and 4 was better than 5. He helped me throughout the whole recovery period and never turned his back or left me. He did something that I am grateful for and that most spouses don't stay by their spouses when things like this happen but he did.

The kids also got me through the recovery. Sophie always singing to me. Angus would always draw me pictures and write stories. Kendall with her goofy laugh and smile. Noah for just being my baby and there to cuddle. I knew he would never judge me if I failed and Patrick because he would watch over us and he would be proud of his mum no matter what happened.

Yes some nights I did think about would happen if I woke with brain damage, if I was paralysed or if I never woke.

I always would think how much my family would change if I was entirely dependent on someone watching me 24/7. It would force Derek to quit his job and care for me. The kids would not function. If I was paralysed or became a paraplegic. I would be dependent on wheelchairs and others to help me.

And if I never woke I imagined that Derek would finally give up on me and pull the plug but if that happened I would finally be with Patrick. One night I had a dream and I was on the land in a white dress. I felt as though I was in heaven and watching over my family but I had reunited with Patrick. He was now 8 years old. He had Derek's dark curly hair, he had my green eyes and he was beautiful. I was there to be his mother but he told me to go back to earth and be Sophie, Angus, Kendall and Noah's mum. Be the mother to my siblings because they need you more than I do.

After I woke I told Derek and he told me it was true.

The weeks after that dream I realised that it was true. I needed to be Sophie, Angus, Kendall and Noah's mum because I have raised them and been their mum. Patrick was my son but I never got to raise him like I got to raise my other kids.

_I loved my family and I didn't want to waste a minute without them all._

That morning Derek and I woke to Noah blabbering away to himself and the kids jumping on our bed.

"His been. His been." Were the chants that came from them.

I look at Derek and smile before we sit up.

"Has he?"

"Yes mummy. You should see all the presents downstairs. There everywhere."

"Well Soph could you go and get Noah from his cot and bring him in here?"

"Okay mum." She says getting up and leaving the room.

"Hey mummy its Noah's first Christmas, isn't it?"

"Yes it is Angus. His first Christmas. We want this day to be special because 6 months ago it wasn't very special."

"Mummy it will be special and besides we get to go to nanna's tomorrow."

"Here he is mum. He is sucking my fingers again." Sophie says bringing Noah into the bedroom and passing him to me.

"Morning Mr Noah." I say kissing his cheek. He leaves his slopping kiss on my cheek and I pass him over to Derek to hold.

"Mum can we go and open the presents now?" Sophie asks.

"Pease." Kendall asks.

"Hmm how about 2 more minutes." I say. "Have you looked out the window yet?"

The kids jump off the bed and go and look out the window.

"Wow the snow is back." Angus says.

"Yes new snow just in time for Christmas."

"Can we go and play in it?"

"Hey you wanted to open your presents. It can only be one?"

The three kids huddle themselves and talk among themselves. Derek and I share a look and laugh.

"We would like to open our presents then play in the snow." Sophie says.

"Okay presents it is."

All 6 of us went downstairs to the present filled lounge room. The kids ran to the presents.

"Hey slow down. You are going to take turns in opening a present but we need someone to be Santa." Derek says.

"Oh mum I will be Santa." Angus says.

"Okay put your hat on and give a present out to everyone."

He goes to the presents and finds a present for Noah, then for Kendall, Sophie, me the Derek. We open the presents and he keeps handing them out. Derek was taking photos especially since it was Noah's first Christmas. Noah sat in my lap and would watch what has happening.

"You're doing a good job Angus. You might become the next Santa."

"No mummy I want to become a secret agent."

"Oh you want to become a spy."

"Yes."

"Okay then. Anything you become will be fine." Derek says.

"I'm going to become a mermaid."

"So your going to be a mermaid."

"Yes."

Okay Kendall what do you want to become." Derek asked her.

"Baby doc."

"A baby doctor?" Derek asks her.

"Yes a baby doc."

"Well you will be a great baby doctor."

"Actually I change my mind mum." Sophie says. "I'm going to become a princess and marry the man of my dreams and go and live in a house like this one."

Derek and I share a look. "She's a believer in true Derek." I say smiling.

"Hey there is nothing wrong with being optimists."

"Well I married my prince and he took me away to my castle."

"Mummy you are like sleeping beauty. You were asleep and then you woke up because daddy kissed you. Your one and only true kiss."

"Oh I guess I am like that." I say smiling at her.

"Mummy is a princess." Sophie says.

"Well you girls are princesses. And Angus, you and Noah and princes."

"No offence mummy but I don't want to marry my true love. I want to be a spy."

"That's fine Angus you can be a spy."

"There's no more presents left except for this one and it says Sophie, Angus, Kendall and Noah."

"Well you all open it because it's all of yours."

The kids ripped away the paper and saw the picture of the snow sled.

"A sled."

"Yeah so you can go through the snow and have fun."

"Oh can we go out in the snow now?" Sophie asks.

"We will have breakfast first then and then we will take you outside after we get you all suited up." Derek says. "So what do we all want for breakfast?"

"I don't mind daddy."

"I will make our pancakes. A nice warm breakfast to make you nice and full."

Derek had left to make breakfast and I stayed in the lounge room opening the packaging from new toys and games.

I had Noah in his walker so I could help the kids and I could keep an eye on him.

I had spent the morning helping the kids and I could smell the pancakes cooking.

"Breakfast is ready."

We all sat down for breakfast. I had Noah in my lap and fed him every once in a while.

Angus and Soph had started there eating race again. I sat back just watching the two of them and smiling at how competitive they were.

"Angus I beat you." Sophie said.

"Sophie you're older than me. It's not fair."

"Hey last time you beat me because I had to tell mummy what we were doing. This time round I didn't have to. I beat you."

"Can we go outside in the snow now?" Angus asks changing the subject.

"Of course but we have to get you all suited up so let's go upstairs." I told the kids.

Over an hour later we had the kids dressed looking like snow monsters. Taking the kids downstairs Derek had their sled ready to go and Derek was dressed ready to go outside with them.

I dressed Noah as warm as possible and then I followed suit. I dressed as best I could and the grabbed the carrier and placed it on. I placed Noah in the carrier and grabbed a jacket and zipped it up until it reached Noah's chin. I placed the beanie on his head and the beanie on my head and grabbed my shoes and headed outside.

As soon as I felt the breeze on my face I stopped. I had to look around and drink in this feeling because it could all be gone tomorrow. I smiled seeing Derek pull the kids through the snow.

"Come on Noah let's go and help dad." I said to him. "Derek wait up."

He stops and we catch up to him and the kids. I grab the other side of the rope and we start pulling the kids through the snow. Sophie falls off the end followed by Angus then Kendall.

The kids just lay there laughing and Derek and I stop and come and help them up.

"How about we make some snow angels. Mummy and daddy needs a rest." Derek tells them.

They go and fall in the snow and I watch as they move their arms and legs in and out.

"You have to make them nice and big kids." I tell them.

Derek had ran inside to grab a blanket to wrap Noah in.

"Here give me Noah. You show them how to do it."

I take Noah out of the carrier and the carrier and zip my jacket up. Derek wrapped Noah up in the blanket.

"Hey Soph hold onto Noah for a few minutes." Derek says. "Make sure you keep him warm so cuddle him."

"Okay Dad."

I knew what would happen now since Derek had passed Noah off. I started to run and he caught up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground and then he fell backwards pulling me down with him. I landed on top of him laughing and I stopped and looked at him.

"What are you thinking?"

"When I was in a coma did you ever think at one point that I would never get to do this again. That we would ever be able to have our races and you tackle me to the ground and we fall in the snow and share that kiss that we always shared."

"At one point I didn't think we would be here again but look where we are now. We have Noah to share it with."

"I know. I'm pretty sure he loves it." I tell Derek.

He kisses me on the lips. "Is that all that you are thinking about?"

"I'm kind of scared about going on the trip tomorrow."

"Mer we will be fine. We can go a different way."

"We have to go this way because then I will get over my fear and the worry that I have."

"Okay." He says to me. "Let's go play in the snow."

He helps me up off the ground and we go over to the kids and help them build snowmen and throw snow balls at each other. I let Noah have a crawl in the snow but he decided he would rather be in my arms.

"How about we go inside to have some hot chocolate and we can play with you toys kids." Derek says.

"I want to get a photo to cherish the moment and Noah's first Christmas snowfall." I say running inside to get the camera.

We had the kids sit on the sled and I placed Noah in Angus's arms. I got a photo with the kids then Sophie took the camera off me and got Derek and I to pose with each other.

"Merry Christmas." I said turning to Derek.

"Merry Christmas." He says kissing my lips.

I heard the noise from the camera and knew that Sophie had gotten a photo of us. I turn to her.

"Okay group photo because we have to show Nanna."

Derek set the camera up on self-timer. The kids sat on the sled and I held Noah kneeling down besides the kids and Derek came and joined us.

"What do we say mum?"

"6."

"3,2,1." Derek counts.

"6." The kids call out.

The kids scattered inside and I stood and looked at the snow. I still had Noah in my arms. The memories came flooding to me from ever since I could remember.

This is the day memories are made. Surrounded by family. Even if it is thundering and lighting. The sun is burning outside. The rain is pouring or the snow is falling you still make memories no matter what the weather is outside. These are the days you remember for when times are tough, when you think your family isn't going to make it or those days when you reminisce. Memories are here to stay whether you like them or not. Memories make you who you are. Some memories you are happy about, some you hate and others you wish never happened.

I am Meredith Grey. I am 36 years old. My mother and step mother are dead and my father may as well be. I have 2 sisters and I have my own memories with them.

I am married to Derek Shepherd and have been married for 10 years. We met when we were ten years old and we have our own memories from the time we grew up together. Some we cherish others we wish never happened. Derek is all for true love and magic and is a real romantic when it comes to our anniversaries or Valentine's Day or any day of the week.

I have 5 kids, 3 sons and 2 daughters. My eldest child Patrick died a stillborn after I was attacked by a patient. He would be 8. I always thought that I had to be his mother. I always will be his mother but he doesn't need me. He will be there to watch over us. I have learnt that my other children need me.

I have a daughter Sophie. She is 7. She is the sweetest girl you could ever meet. She is all for true love, soul mates and being carried away to a castle after finding your prince charming. She is a lot like Derek believing in true love and magic. Derek shines through her.

I have a son Angus. He is 5. He loves his cars and being outside with his dad fishing or camping. He wants to grow up and be a secret agent. He is a charmer and gets anything he wants. He will be a mini Derek when he grows up.

I have a daughter Kendall. She is 22 months old. She was born on Valentine's Day on the highway. The moment she was born the officer handed us his jacket to wrap her in and told us to keep it, we have it framed and hanging in her room. Kendall has a goofy smile and a laugh that always escapes her mouth. She finds the simple things in life funny and will laugh and smile at them. She will grow up wanting to make the world a happier place with that laugh and she wants to become a baby doctor.

My youngest child is my son Noah. He is 6 months old. Noah was born 10 days after our car accident and I didn't get to hold him for his first few days. He is a koala bear and just wants to be with me. He is a little charmer and when he wakes of a morning he blabbers away to himself. I sit and listen to him. He thinks that he is Einstein. I can tell he is going to become like his father. Chatty, curly hair, a charmer and a doctor.

My memories differ from parent to parent. Sister to sister. Husband to wife. Friends to friends. Child to child. I value my memories and I wish to never forget these memories.

The good thing about memories though is that the ones you make with other people stay with them. Those memories are there so when they are sad they can look back at the time that we kissed or the time we held our newborn children.

"Mer you coming inside?" Derek asks me.

I smile at him. "Yeah I'm just letting the moment sink in." I tell him.

I Meredith Grey, I am a person. I am a daughter. A sister. A friend. A doctor. A wife. A mother. I do take life for granted because a few times in my 36 years of living I have almost lost all memories. I have experienced the good and the bad in life and I have a family who I love. A family that loves me. If I am gone I know that those memories will stay within the family but I will break the hearts of my loved ones.

In a lifetime you make those plans and you have to look around and let it sink in what is happening and spend time with loved ones because it could be the last day it happens and they want those memories to happen before the making of the memories disappear.

I hold Noah out in front of me. "Come on baby boy let's go live life." I tell him kissing his cheek.

I place him on my hip and carry him up the front steps and open the door. I look around at the snow and then inside and hear the laughter from my family. I step inside and close the door to make memories that my family will never forget.

You finally learn to, Live life. Learn life. Make life. Be life. End life.

**What'd you all think? Please let me know and please review telling me what you liked and hated. Just leave a comment saying anything. I wasn't planning a sequel but let me know if you would like one or not. Anyway that's all for **_**Open your eyes. **_**Thanks for reading and hopefully I made your day.**

**Oh and for Watch over me readers I haven't abandoned the story I'm just banking a lot of my chapters up so I can easily update before the end of year gets really busy for me.**


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